


New life, new rules: Refracted.

by Vykyll



Series: New life, new rules: Acclimatise [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adorable Cole, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Avvar, Background Relationships, Bi-Curiosity, Black City (Dragon Age), Black Emporium, Blood Magic, Chubby Inquisitor, Death, Deception, Doppelganger, Drinking, Eluvians, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fade Spirits, Friendship, Frottage, Grey Wardens, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mages and Templars, Major Canon Diverge, Major Original Character(s), Modern Character in Thedas, Multi, Music, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Public Display of Affection, Red Templars, Sentient Skyhold, Sex, Sexual Content, Smoking, Solas is Fen'Harel, Spirits Are People Too!, The Fade, Trevelyan is a Sweetheart, Varric Tethras is a Good Friend, Weird Plot Shit, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-06 22:34:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 70,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13421025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vykyll/pseuds/Vykyll
Summary: Continues from NLNR: Reflected.Revolves around poor Trevelyan, having to deal with becoming the Herald of Andraste after he ran away from his abusive circle to Kinloch only to have it fall. Coming in rags to the Conclave, he gets more then be bargained for. He's not ready for anything, even more so when Varric's friend just appears.Alex Knight turns up to help only to find, hey guess what, someone else who kinda looks like someone he once knew. He's not crying, nope, he's definitely not crying again. Because fuck this shit, he's just about had enough of everything.





	1. Do You Know Where You're Coming From.

**Author's Note:**

> Maker, Creators and the fucking Stone, welcome to the second part in this series. First off, I wanna say you MUST, I repeat, you MUST read the first part of the series to even understand who the bleedin' 'eck Alex is, what he goes through, etc etc.
> 
> Secondly, it'll have some horrible/sad moments in it (much like the first one)
> 
> Thirdly, I mashed together some screenies of the two fellas and some of Lavellan, because why not. Wish I knew how to use Blender, would of made this so much more easier. Oh well.
> 
> Also, more music from the 90's in chapter titles :) No Prologue this time, but will have an epilogue.
> 
> Jamiroquai - Do You Know Where You're Coming From - https://youtu.be/i2nIGcbX0xM

* * *

Leliana closed her eyes, looking away from the man kneeling in chains on the floor. Her heart clenched in her chest at the heart wracking sobs coming from him, Cassandra wasn't exactly helping matters shouting at the young man. He, was utterly terrified, even more so when he asked not to be beaten again. She sucked in a very deep breath, slowly nodding her head looking back at him.

 "Cassandra, could you give us a moment, please. Take everyone else out with you."  
  
The Seeker glared, "Leliana, I do not-"  
  
"Not now. Just wait outside the Chantry. I'll bring him out."  
  
The woman huffed wrinkling her nose up, waving her hand for everyone to move out the same time throwing the key into the room. Leliana swallowed sharply walking ever so slowly to the man on the floor, trying to cover his face with bound hands. The cell door shut, the sound of boot clad feet stomped out the cell block then up the steps, the sound getting less when she knelt down in-front of him.  
  
She searched his face when he looked at her, her heart clenched again when she down casts her eyes, "What is your name?"

"Cas-Cassidy Tre-Trev-Trevelyan," he sobbed out still looking terrified.  
  
Leliana bit her lip hard peaking out from under her hood, "Cassidy, as you heard, I am Leliana. You- Forgive me," she swallowed again picking the key up off the floor where Cassandra threw it, "I know this is frightening, but you must trust us. You have remarkable amethyst eyes, no."  
  
"I, I do? I, I have always hated them," Cassidy sniffed, "Whats going to-to happen to me? I don't know whats going on."  
  
She undid the locks allowing the man to rub his wrists, "That, will no doubt be left to Cassandra to decide. But I for one," she smiled helping him to stand, "would like to see you live."  
  
"Why? I'm nothing but dirt, so-so they all told me in the circle," he sniffed wiping his eyes on the white rags, "Y-you keep staring at me. Is it my eyes again? I honestly do hate them, was told they loo-looked like demon eyes."  
  
"No, their quite beautiful, Cassidy. Look like another's," she muttered the last part out to herself more then him, "Which circle did you come from?"  
  
Cassidy's face dropped looking down at his bare feet, "Ostwick, then fled to Kinloch whe-when I heard they take in mages of all kinds. Then it fell, leaving me no-where else to go."  
  
"What about family?" Leliana held her hand out for him, he took it which was a sigh of relief, and guided him out the cell block, "Do you not wish for them to know your alive?"  
  
He just scoffed, "What family? They left me to rot in Ostwick. I was curse, father used to say to me be-before hauling me off to the circle. So no," he shook his head, "I don't want them to know I live at all."  
  
"Then they will not know. I promise you that, Cassidy," she smiled at him, "But your eyes are not demon eyes, trust me on that. They are remarkable. How old are you, if I may ask."  
  
Cassidy frowned at her, "I, I not long turned twenty-one. Why?"  
  
"It is of no matter. I am just trying to know you, thats all."  
  
He frowned even more letting her hand go, "For what reason? I, I don't even know you people, I don't even know whats going on. You won't tell me, she just-" she watched him rubs his temples standing still in the middle of the Chantry, "If I'm going to be punished, do it quickly. I'd rather be dead then to have to go through all that again."  
  
Leliana's eyes go huge taking his hand again in hers, "We would never do that here. I said trust us, I'm hoping you will. Cassandra is just angry that- We lost a lot of people at the Conclave, the Divine, her old- a lot of people. Those scars," she dips her head at his face, "were they punishment?"  
  
"I, I don't want to talk about them."  
  
She accepted that guiding him outside. Cassandra was pacing back and forth right outside the doors, she spots them waving for them to hurry up. Cassidy squinted his eyes at the bright sunlight, they then go huge looking up at the green mass in the sky.  
  
"We call it the Breach. Its is not the only such one, but it is the largest."  
  
Leliana was pulled onto the ground when the sky heaved outward, the man clutched her hand tight in his when he screamed in pain. Tears rolled down his eyes, breathing heavily as he shook looking at her, then down to the mark in his hand. Cassandra knelt down putting her hand on his shoulder, her face looked just as pained.  
  
"I do not know how painful this is for you, but we need your help."  
  
"With what?"  
  
Cassandra sighed through her nose when he wiped his eyes, "To close the Breach. Whatever happened when Her Most Holy began her talks, you are the key to aiding us in stopping the Breach spread over the world."  
  
The young man furrowed his brow side-eyeing the sky, "I, I will help. Just," he smiled softly at them both, letting Leliana's hand go, "so you know, I've never really fought anything before. I, I just ran and hid."  
  
"Then you'll learn on the fly, so to speak," Leliana smirked under her hood. Cassandra gave her an odd look then rolled her eyes helping the man to stand. She tugged on the Seekers arm before they left, pulling her down so her mouth was on the womans ear, "Look after him. He's going to need new clothes at the forward camp. I will meet you there."  
  
She watched them leave through the crowd of people shouting at him, yelling murderer, throwing rotten vegetables at his shaking body. Leliana clamped her eyes shut, sighing heavily under her breath slipping back inside the Chantry. She had a letter to write and quickly. She hoped to everything he was still where he was.

* * *

  
Cassandra gave the man a withering look when he tried to hide behind her and the shield she held firmly in her hand. The Wraiths just wouldn't stop hounding her, sending little green bolts of Maker knows what at them both. Cassidy put his hand out from behind the shield, cold swirled around in it before it struck the Wraith freezing it solid.  
  
"When I said- Never mind," she shook her head charging off to smash the thing into pieces.  
  
With the demons around them dead finally, she lowered her weapons looking at the younger man clutching the staff between his hands, shaking. Sweet Maker, he had no idea how to fight at all, and she had to look after him? The Maker and Blessed Andraste must of lost their minds in sending him to aid them. And his- she shook her head again waving her hand for the young man to move.  
  
"Did they truly not teach you anything in your circle?"  
  
Cassidy furrowed his brow still clutching the staff tight in his grasp, "Sometimes. When the Templars weren't barking at us all. But to actually fight," he sighed looking at her, "no."  
  
"I see. That will all change when we close the Breach, Trevelyan. I will have someone-"  
  
He put his hand up strapping the staff to his back, "Look, I know what your trying to do, but I still don't know who you are. I do my best, always have done. If you wish to give me new clothes, then fine. But to try and pretend to be my friend when you made me cry? Please stop."  
  
"I, I merely- Ugh, let us move." Cassandra felt a little defeated at this point. If this is Her will, then who is she to judge. But to send someone like him? A mage, no, an apostate of all things to aid them? Bad enough there was Knight who came from else where, changing everything he touched wherever he went-  
  
She side-eyed the young man, looking him over again then set her eyes forward breaching the rise to the fighting beyond. She has only ever seen eyes that colour once before, and they most certainly didn't belong on a human. Ugh. She didn't not have a crush on the Champion at all, when a blush tinged her face jumping over the ruined bridge to the other side, trying hard not to think about the book again.  
  
Cassandra pulled her weapons free with more force then needed to be, hacking away at the Shade trying to attack her when it slithered over. Its been years since anyone has seen Knight, let alone any of his other companions. Except the dwarf fighting along side her right now, giving her a wink before reloading his crossbow. Pink tinged her cheeks again looking away from the dwarf.  
  
That wasn't happening either.  
  
Solas took the young mans hand in his pushing it up to the tear. She watched in awe at the green tendrils erupting from his palm, closing the thing down before he snatched it out of the grasp of the elf.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
Solas smirked dipping his head, "I did nothing, that was you. I theorized the mark on your hand would close the tear, and I was correct."  
  
Cassidy's eyes widen looking at the green flickering in his hand, "I, I did that? I, closed that thing? What is it though?" he put the hand back out towards the elf.  
  
"Maferaths fucking ballsack! Seeker?" the dwarf pulled her away when he squeaked staring at Trevelyan, "So, tell me... Who's that?"  
  
"Ugh, that is Cassidy Trevelyan," the dwarf's eyes went wider staring even more letting her go, "Varric, enough with the gaping. I thought I told you to leave?"  
  
Varric shrugged pulling his gloves on more, "Thought I'd hang around you know. Chuckles has been a riot to be with," his eyes rolled smirking, "Not like I can go anywhere else, considering there's all those nasties fucking everything up. Ahh, almost like home."  
  
"Are you with the Chantry... Or?"  
  
The dwarf jumped several paces away from Trevelyan, "Er, no. I'm her toy boy," he winked, thumbing right at her, "I'm still her prisoner like you are, Tails- um, kid."  
  
Tails? Wasn't that- Her eyes narrowed slowly looking at Trevelyan, "I told you to leave when the explosion happened Varric. As there is now no more need for you to tell Her Most Holy your supposed story. Why did you call him-?"  
  
"Not now," he muttered glaring at her, then back at the young man, "So, kid, sorry for staring. I'm Varric Tethras, at your service. Thats Chuckles."  
  
"I am Solas, not Chuckles. Pleased to make your acquaintance," the elf dipped his head again, "But yes, the mark on your hand is a piece of the fade. I studied it while you slept, to stop it from killing you. Cassandra, you should know, even though your prisoner is a mage, I highly doubt he could of done something like this."  
  
Cassidy's eyes went to the ground, scuffing his bare feet, "Oh. A fade piece. Nothing to worry about. You, you know a great deal about this all then, Solas?"  
  
"I do indeed. I have studied the fade and further. We can talk more when the Breach is sealed, Cassidy."  
  
Cassandra ground her teeth, walking ahead of them all. Her sword arm shook gripping it tight in her grasp, he wasn't the spirit that was summoned, was he? No, he died saving Knights life from the Abomination Hawke. Trevelyan came from Ostwick's circle, from a high ranking family at that. Ugh, she didn't know whether to scream or cry at this point going over more ice.  
  
She could hear Varric behind her asking the young man where he came from, then laugh saying Bianca was excited.  
  
Maker take him. Maker take her as well. For she did not have feelings for the most infuriating dwarf she has ever known.

* * *

   
"Looks good on you, kid."  
  
Cassidy wrinkled his nose up looking over the new clothing loaned to him, "I'm not one for feathers. But," he shrugged dropping his hand to his side, "much warmer then rags. And boots too,"he smiled.  
  
Varric snorted nudging his arm, motioning with his head to Leliana grinning at him from under her hood. He was supposed to be listening to some plan they all cooked up, trying to make him of all people decide on where to go. He didn't have any idea. He doesn't even remember coming this way the first time to the Conclave. Other then the biting cold, he remembers that when he looks up at the mountain.  
  
"Kid, listen," the dwarf nudged him again, "Go up the mountain pass. If there's any scouts that need saving, we should go do that. Whadya say?"  
  
"Um, yes? I, I think that would be best?"  
  
Cassandra's mouth thinned storming off ahead again, the Chancellor glowered after them all when they left him standing there. If he believed in the Maker, he thinks he would be cursing him for even putting all this on him. Learning on the fly, isn't that what Leliana said to him? He was more terrified then trying to learn on the fly. He's never heard that expression before, if an when he survives all this, he'll have to ask the woman where it came from.  
  
Void, was it cold going up the slope. Okay, the new clothing would suit it better then what he did wear. But feathers? Odd placed buckles? Who thought this clothing up when he plucked at it, sighing through his nose.  
  
"Kid," Varric was talking to him again when he smiled softly at the dwarf, "You need anything, I mean anything. Tell me and I'll do it, okay. I know you don't wanna friend, or whatever the sodding Seeker was trying to be, but," the dwarf smiled sadly at him, "I'm here, if you need a shoulder."  
  
"Okay. I think? Why is everyone trying to be my friend all of a sudden? Trying to help me. I don't get it, I really don't." He, honest to everything, had no idea whats going on with all these people at all. The staring was getting a little unnerving too. No doubt the fact he had purple eyes, would always come back to them, he just knew it.  
  
"I dunno, kid. I know mages had it rough," Varric climbed the ladder in-front of them first, "I know people don't trust a thing from any of you, specially now. As I said, I can help you with whatever you want. It's how I am, kid."  
  
Cassidy just nodded his head climbing the ladder as well. There was something else going on here, but what? He didn't exactly know. No-one was telling him anything, other then he was a suspect in the explosion. Theres no-way he could of done that, even Solas had said it would of been impossible for him to do that. He wasn't that kind of person at all. He frowned going up the last ladder, pondering why any of this happened at all.  
  
Nothing came to him, other then someone else did all this to those people. Void, all those people, gone. The peace talks failed, everything failed. And he was the only one standing with a piece of the fade in his hand?  
  
Fate has a nasty sense of humour, that was for sure.  
  
"Get behind me," Cassandra charged past him, pushing him behind her when more demons come towards them from the tunnels.  
  
Cassidy screwed his eyes shut pulling the staff from his back, summoning every inch of his will power to attack these things. He honestly didn't want to kill them, he really didn't when he sent out a snap of cold at the Wraith. They were just here unwillingly, as much as he was.  
  
"I suggest stepping back a few paces, Cassidy," Solas took his arm, pulling him to one side as the Seeker just raged out ahead, "I believe she is a little upset."  
  
"I, I can see that," he flinched when her shield was thrown at a Shade, "Was that really necessary?"  
  
He got a scowling glare back at him when the older woman charged off again, even the dwarf stopped firing Bianca at the demons. Cassidy bit his lip following the raging woman around the bend, through more tunnels leading to the outside. If he had a home to go too, he would be wanting to go to it right now. Because all of this, was not his cup of tea at all. More so when several dead bodies greeted them outside the mining tunnels.  
  
"Wha-what happened to them?" vomit rose a little in his mouth trying his hardest not to look at them.  
  
"Appears to be wounds from twisted, Cassidy. Look how your hand is flickering."  
  
Indeed, his hand was flickering when he looked at it. Small stray sparks came from it when he held it out in-front, almost like a compass on a ship he saw in a book once, guiding him to the next tear. Hmm, that, might actually be handy. Cassidy snorted, earning odd looks from everyone, "Handy," he snorted again dropping it to his side.  
  
Maybe he should just keep quiet from now on when Cassandra just scoffed.  
  
His shoulders slumped trailing behind everyone, kicking up snow from the ground. He just hoped when the big one was sealed, he could go do something else. Like read those books he's slowly been going through from Tate Wolff. His shoulders slumped even more realising they were still at the Temple, where everyone else were dead. Void take it all, he wanted to finish them more then anything. He liked the stories the man had written, unlike any he's ever read before too.  
  
Now they were gone. The only possessions he ever truly cherished, were gone.  
  
"Kid?"  
  
"I miss my books," he mumbled under his breath reluctantly pulling the staff from his back.  
  
Varric quirked an eyebrow at him, "Books? What books?"  
  
"By Tate Wolff. He wrote five of them," Cassidy sighed summoning a fireball, "I never got to finish the one about someone called Scrooge, something called Christmas too."  
  
The dwarf just smirked aiming his crossbow at the demons, "I'll see what I can do."


	2. Hero Of The Day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy comes face to face with reality, two fold.

Cassidy peaked one eye open looking up at the wooden roof of the cabin, then closed it again when someone came through the door. No doubt that elven girl dropping herbal supplies off again, thinking he was asleep. Which he most certainly was not. He just didn't want to get up with all those people out there calling his name.  
  
"OH!"  
  
He shot up out of bed at the sound of the elf, at the sound of something being dropped.  
  
"I, I didn't know you was awake. I swear on me mum I didn't!"  
  
Cassidy slowly swung his legs out of bed, "Why, are you kneeling on the ground? I, I've been awake for sometime... er?"  
  
The elf bowed even more, backing out the cabin on her knees, "I didn't mean anyfing by it, I swear. Cassandra said meet 'er at once, she said."  
  
"Please, stop bowing. Void, just get up off the floor," the elf didn't listen at all, just, kept her head bowed trying to find the door knob behind her, "Whats happening-"  
  
"I beg your 'umble forgiveness. I'm jus' a servant of tha Maker, me Lord. Theys all waitin' on you, me Lord. You stopped the Breach from growin' so theys all say."  
  
Cassidy sighed through his nose getting out of the bed now, putting both his hands out the trembling elf still trying to get the door knob behind her, "I know that. All I have been hearing through the door. Please, stop calling me Lord. Where is Cassandra?"  
  
"In the Chantry me Lord. At once," she managed to get the door open then fled out of it somehow, on her knees. His shoulders slumped looking out the small windows in the cabin, looking over all the people standing there with their own heads bowed in his direction. Void take it all, he climbed back into bed pulling the covers over his head to hide from them.  
  
No, he should get up, see what the bossy woman wanted from him. Bad enough he didn't want to fight the huge Pride that came from the rift when he opened it fully, just to close it again. She yelled at him trying to hide behind her. Varric had to pull him to one side out the way, keep him at a distance so he could attack the Shades that sprung up around them. He still didn't want to have to fight them at all, it wasn't right.  
  
Cassidy got out of bed again, squinting at the note on the table by the window. He doesn't remember that being there the last time he got up, and walked over to it to read.  
  
_Kid,_  
  
_Got a couple of things coming your way. Tate Wolff wrote more then five books, you know. He wrote eight, expect them soon._  
_But in the mean time, read the 'Champion's Tale: The true story.' Oh, and Hard in HighTown, my other best seller._  
_Enjoy_  
  
_V._  
  
A small smile crept up his face reading the note, they were never allowed to read either of them in the circle, so he would most definitely read them now. With gusto that was for sure.  
  
Hard in HighTown had the dwarfs picture hand drawn on the back, he squinted at the name under the portrait, then nearly dropped the book on the floor at the name. Alex Knight had drawn the dwarf and everything else within the book. He looked at the Champion's Tale, the very same Alex Knight the book was about. His heart hammered hard in his chest looking between the two books.  
  
"Void," he whispers stepping back a few paces from the table, "You knew him?"  
  
He had no idea the dwarf were friends with the Champion at all, they were never told much in Ostwick what happened in Kirkwall. Other then some Outsider had started everything in motion around them. Cassidy remembers everyone else wanting to know what was going on. Even the Enchanters barked back at the Templars demanding to know what was happening in Kirkwall, months after the riots erupted around them. They never saw most again after that.  
  
He had only heard small snippets here and there about what happened. But third and forth hand information was sketchy at best when they all fled Ostwick, to try and get to Ferelden for amnesty. Going through the infighting on every side when everything started to fall apart. Kinloch was the last circle to fall, the very last circle where most mages fled to be safe. It didn't last long.  
  
Cassidy picked up the Tale looking over every inch of the front cover, turning it around in his hands to the back. Varric's portrait was there too. He didn't know whether he should read that one now, maybe, maybe he shouldn't at all. But it was the fact he held an account on everything that happened, in his hands, that made his heart race in his chest even thinking about it.  
  
He tucked that under his pillow, pulling his feathered coat on. He will keep that to read later, when he was alone.

* * *

  
"Chain him! I want him sent to Val-"  
  
"Like buggery you will! Get out of here Chancellor," this sandy haired man wrinkled his nose up pointing to the two Templars by the door, "You two, go get some rest for the love of the Maker."  
  
Cassidy dipped his head, looking over his shoulder at the red faced man sputtering like a fool, being dragged out the room by the two uniformed men. ' _Oh, how the tables have turned,'_ he thinks to himself looking at everyone around this mapped table. His eyes traced over the figures placed on-top, over the poor rendition of Ferelden under them. Lake Calenhad was easily recognisable, considering he walked over the rebuilt bridge to that place with others.  
  
His eyes then skimmed up towards Highever, where they all landed before most scattered to the winds. Leaving just a few of them to mind the Tranquil they had with them. Typical really, most hated the calm mages, he didn't mind them at all. He wondered where they all went when he ran the last time.  
  
"So, what exactly is this, Inquisition? I've never heard of it before."  
  
"A very good question," the sandy haired man sighed, "Right now, it means very little. Other then we're all heretics from the Chantry."  
  
"You, specifically," a dark skinned woman joined them around the other side with a writing board in her hand, "Forgive me. I am Josephine Montilyet, the Inquisition's Ambassador."  
  
He frowned even more, looking at them all standing there waiting for him to say something. Cassidy shook his head looking back at the map, "I still don't exactly know whats going on. Why am I a heretic exactly? Because I'm a mage?"  
  
"Besides that some are calling you the Herald of Andraste? Yes, that is it exactly," Josephine wrote something down, "You come from a noble house, one who has great sway over certain matters. But," he dipped her head at Leliana in the corner, "I have been informed not to address them at all. May I ask why?"  
  
"Because they hate me? They all do. I want nothing to do with any of them, especially my father."  
  
Josephine cocked her head at him, little tumbles of black curls touched her jaw as she nodded, "Then they will not be informed of anything. But I cannot guarantee they won't hear of this. But I will make sure they will garner nothing from you, politically, religiously, or verbally. Is that alright?"  
  
"Thank you. I know full well they will try," he shrugged, plucking at the coat buckles again, "All very religious, I'm afraid. Where as I'm not at all."  
  
Cassandra just scoffed loudly in the room, leaning on the table looking up at him, "Enough talk of this. The Inquisition was formed many centuries ago, we have made it reborn with the Rebel War that happened. It is needed now more then ever to discover who was behind the massacre at the Temple. We will find those behind it, bring them to justice for everything that was done."  
  
"Okay. But, what about me?"  
  
"We need to you, Herald. We need you by our side to close the tears, to find who did this to you also. Does, does it still trouble you?" Cassandra moved a little closer to him, eyeing his left hand.  
  
Cassidy lifted it up, a small green glow shimmered in the palm of his hand, "Not really. But I would very much like to know where it came from, and why for that matter."  
  
"Andraste gave it to you. She gave-"  
  
He put his glowing hand up to silence the Seeker, "It's not from Andraste. I'm not her Herald either. I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in rags with what few possessions I had, to see the peace talks happen. Nothing more."  
  
The door slammed behind them when the woman stormed out from it, everyone else there shifted uncomfortably around the table. What did she think he was, some sort of Maker sent gift? A bastard spawn of Andraste?  
  
"I, forgot to introduce myself. I am Commander Cullen Rutherford," the man held out his hand with a smile on his face, "Trust me, I know all about reluctant people in positions they never wanted to be in."  
  
He shook the mans hand, "Oh? Who?"  
  
"Alex Knight for one. Me for another, when I took over Kirkwall's Templars as Knight-Commander."  
  
Cassidy pulled his hand away as if burned, stepping back several paces to the door, "Your a Templar? You, you knew him too?"  
  
"Yes I did. I was a Templar but no more when I took this position with my- You'll meet her soon enough when you go back out there," the man grinned at him, "And yes I knew Knight very well."  
  
That did it when his back hit the wall. Yet another person who knew the Champion, he wondered who else here knew him looking over them all. He needed air, yes, he needed air that was already in this room, but he could get more else where when he pulled the door open and ran from it. Perhaps he should go gather the Elfroot he's seen dotted around the place, maybe go find that iron the Quartermaster wanted.  
  
Yes, that'll give him plenty of air to stop his mind and heart from racing.

* * *

  
"Hey kid. Watcha hiding for?" Varric saunted up to him in the valley, "Got Curly wondering what he did to make ya freak."  
  
He lifted his head up from his lap, peaking over his knees at the dwarf, "Not hiding. Was gathering Elfroot and got distracted."  
  
"Uh huh," the dwarf sat next to him on the boulder, a Druffalo snorted heavily walking on by felt like it was mocking him too, "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
Cassidy lowered his feet to the ground looking over the snow packed valley, through the trees to Haven, "Overwhelmed already. And I haven't even done anything yet."  
  
"You'll get used to it. Trust me on that, kid."  
  
"Learn on the fly?" he asked the dwarf only to have the man drop a wooden leg on the floor snickering. Cassidy shot up off the boulder looking at the wooden thing laying in the snow, "VOID! What happened with your leg, Varric?"  
  
"A nasty piece of work, thats what. Ever hear of the Abomination Hawke?"  
  
Cassidy tentatively picked up the fake appendage in his hand looking it over. Finely etched images were around the thing, he marveled at the intricately of it handing it to the man grinning at him, "I may of done? We never heard much of what happened within Kirkwall at all. Never allowed to. Only heard bits and pieces through hearsay."  
  
"Yeah, he did that to me. Killed a whole load of people, nearly killed Choir boy too when he jumped on his chest. Read the Tale I gave ya, thats the real story, kid."  
  
"You knew him, like Cullen does. What was he like?" he rejoined the dwarf on the boulder, "I heard him be called an Outsider in passing."  
  
Varric just smirked picking his herb and ore pack up, "Read the book, kid. Then you'll get it. Oh, Nightingale wants to talk to ya, something about something urgent? Eh, I dunno what she means."  
  
He sat there with the pack held firmly in his hands when the dwarf handed it to him, watching him whistle walking out from the valley. He now had no idea what to think looking back over at Haven, no-one wanted to tell him what was going on. Besides the whole fade piece stuck in his hand thing. His gaze trailed up to the Breach in the sky, he's never felt more alone then he does now.  
  
Maybe he should go see what Leliana wants with him when he drops everything off. Not like he has anything better to do when he pushes away from the boulder, all these people worship him like he was fade sent. Unnerved the living void out of him. All of it did when most wouldn't meet his eye when he walks by them. Or they would just drop to the ground, begging for some blessing from him.  
  
Cassidy sighs through his nose walking past Cullen training his men, he squinted his eyes against the sun to the short elven woman pulling him down for a kiss before giggling. Her hair was the colour of pale moonlight, he's never seen hair that colour before. Nor what she was wearing either when she ran off down the slope to the lake. Cullen gave him a goofy grin when he caught the mans eye, he just smiled back heading up through the huge gate.  
  
Leliana waved at him from just inside the Chantry, urging him to come. He just shoved the pack into the Quartermaster's hands when he ran, not caring he just gave her the Elfroot too. Maybe she could find a use for it.  
  
"Cassidy, thank the Maker."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Leliana tugged on his arm to come inside, "Besides running off to hide, no? We received a letter from your father. He's demanding recompense for you being here under his name."  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks, fingers twitched against the feathered coat, "Is he serious? What else does he want from me? Wasn't it enough he gave me away like rubbish to the circle?"  
  
"Alas, he either wants to be reimbursed for your time there, or to strip you of your name. I ask you what do you wish for me and Josephine to do about it," the woman smirked dipping her head under her hood, "I could send a threat of an assassin against him, to never trouble you again."  
  
"Can he do that? I, I would still be Trevelyan, wouldn't I?" his mind couldn't wrap around what his bastard father was doing to him again.  
  
"Technically, he cannot. You are under the protection of the Inquisition, Herald," Josephine popped her head around her door, "I can write him off, or have Leliana send threats. Either way, we may loose interest."  
  
Cassidy fisted his hands by his side as he shook, "Like I give a damn what he thinks any more. He's a Trevelyan as much as I. But I will NOT be under his influence any longer. Do what you must, both of you. I don't care which one of you do it, but get him out of my life."  
  
"We will do what we can Herald."  
  
Josephine ducked back into her office, Leliana took his arm again guiding him outside, "This will unfortunately be the down side to who you are now, Cassidy. Many people will come from the woodwork to either kill you," his eyes go wide at that, "Or use your name to gain favours from people. This is why you have us," she smiled at him.  
  
"I, I think I should be a little worried, Leliana. I see why you are the-" people started running past them down towards the gates, "Now whats going on?"  
  
He watched Varric drop his crossbow on the floor, practically flying down the steps into someones embrace on the other side. He could also see two dogs dancing about with Cullen rubbing both their heads. Josephine daintily ran up behind them, trying to see who it was too, "What's happening? Is that Cassandra... blushing?"

 

  
"MON DIEU!" Leliana let his arm go, running down the steps to the person everyone was crowding around.  
  
Cassidy ran down them too, his staff bumping the back of his legs walking through the crowd of people. He stopped in his tracks at the man staring at him, his eyes started to sheen swallowing loudly gripping hold of both Leliana and Varric.  
  
"Yeah so, Menace, thats... the Herald of Andraste," the most beautiful man he's ever seen took several steps back staring at him when the dwarf spoke, "I woulda' warned you if I knew you were coming."  
  
"Snoopy, he looks like- Holy fuck, he, he almost looks like-" Void, his voice was-  
  
He frowned tucking his black hair around his ear, trying his hardest not to stare himself at the pale, fade green, cat like eyes staring at him, "Varric, why is he looking at me like you did? Like you all did?"  
  
The man sucked in a deep breath putting his hand up at the dwarf, "You sort of fucking look like someone I once knew. Just-" Leliana wrapped her arms around him when tears just poured out from those beautiful eyes, "Fuck, you look like Cassidy."  
  
He quirked an eyebrow at him, then looked at everyone around not even looking at them any more, "Um. I, I am Cassidy? Cassidy Trevelyan. Can someone tell me whats going on? Anyone? Please?"  
  
"WHAT! Snoopy, Lee, what the fucking hell's going on here? Why the fuck does he look like... No, you know what, I don't fucking care," the man shook his head wrinkling his nose up backing away from them all, "I'm so done with mother fucking bullshit being thrown at me."  
  
"Menace, come off it. It's not his fau-"  
  
"Don't, just fucking don't," everyone watched the man throw his hands up in the air walking away from them all, the two dogs following him bumping their heads on his legs when he kicks up piles of snow in his path.  
  
Varric bit his lip looking up at him, "Yeah, so kid. Thats Alex Knight, the Champion of the People. Don't think he's in the best of moods right now."  
  
Cassidy's heart just raced again as his lips slowly parted, "Thats... Oh," he most certainly was not feeling a little infatuated in the least.  
  
He could see Cassandra leaning against the training dummy, trying to calm her nerves also. Cullen on the other hand, whistled to one of his men, handing a hastily scribbled message over before sending the man away. Leliana's face looked sullen from under her hood, wiping her own eyes, "I should of told you before hand, Cassidy. But I didn't realise he would be so close to Haven."  
  
"Then tell me, because I'm feeling very out of sorts here with everything."  
  
She smiled sadly as much as Varric was, "You almost look like a former lover of Alex's. Why we were shocked when most of us saw you for the first time."  
  
"Kid, don't take anything personally when he finally comes around to talk. If Moonbeam ain't gone to kick his arse first that is."

* * *

  
His brain just could not comprehend what the fuck he just saw. Yet another fucking reflection come to haunt him, why was he not surprised in the least it would have to be fucking Cassidy of all people. And the fact, Alex threw the stone into the distance for his dogs, his fucking name WAS Cassidy. What a joke.  
  
He wasn't crying again, like fuck was he crying again when he fell face first into the snow pack. He's done enough of that already over the past few years, let alone fucking months. Sarge mewed climbing on his back, kneading his claws through the shitty fucking clothing he had to steal. Ugh, he wanted to go home now, fuck helping them all out. Not like he had a home to go to any more, what with selling it off giving the money from the sale to the Alienage's.  
  
"Alex Knight, what in Creators are you doing?"  
  
Sarge scrabbled from his back, digging his claws in even more falling into the snow, when Alex shot up off the floor, "THE HELL! Si, what the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
"Being with my husband thats what. Look at the state of you big brother, what would Bethany say?" she cocked her hip at him.  
  
"She would probably say, 'What the fuck are you doing with your life, you ungrateful sack of shit.' I would agree with her, thats what," he picked his little sister up in his arms, swinging her around in a circle, "God, have I missed you this past year."  
  
Si snickered burying her head in his chest as usual, "Me too. I think you gave Cullen a heart attack just coming here out the blue. Mythal, what are you wearing though?"  
  
"Some stolen clothes thats what. My other shit got burnt up," he thumbed some random direction behind him, "Least my armguards fine. Sweet jacket too, ain't it," he grinned giving her a twirl, then fell backside into the snow, "Ugh, why is everything so fucking messed up? Si, tell me, please, cos I dunno what to think right now."  
  
She sat in his lap, Trouble laid her head on Si's lap, Major and Sarge tried to sit on his head at the same time, "Other then everything exploding again? I have no idea any more. Cassidy, from what I hear from Cullen, is just as confused as we all are. He was terrified when they all found him. He doesn't like fighting twisted either."  
  
"Are you giving me a run down of my next fucking love life? You can fuck right off with it, Si. I ain't interested in anyone any more," Alex scowled picking Sarge up from his face, "Major, for the love of God, go chase your sister. Sarge, sit on Si's head not mine right now."  
  
His sister swatted his knee, giving him that look she normally does when she's pissed off, "No, don't you bloody start. I know shits been tough these past few years, but don't you DARE take it out on everyone else, brother. I'm warning you."  
  
Alex slapped her finger away from his face, "I do what I want. Which means I do what Lee wants me to do. Ugh, have you heard from Beth, Andy and the brood yet? Snowy and Seb?"  
  
"Falon'Din give me peace. I have, their all fine. The broods missing you something rotten after Anders-" she sighed pushing him to lay down, "Fenris and Sebastian are expecting their first in four months time. Was a bit of a shock to them both when Fenris fell pregnant."  
  
Alex's eyes go wide, feeling a bubble of laughter come up from deep in his chest he hasn't felt in a long fucking time, "Holy shit. So I'm gonna be uncle again? Fuck me. Thats gonna make nine now, ain't it?"  
  
"Yes you are, big brother, yes you are. Lyna's around here somewhere, keeping the ram's in line. Nugs too. And the Druffalo."  
  
"So she's being a bully? I didn't teach her that shit," he snorted kissing flaxen hair making his sister giggle, "So, is there anything else I need to know, before I waltz back with my tail between my legs?"  
  
"Yeah, go meet Solas. I think you might like him."  
  
Alex rolled his eyes pushing Si off him into the snow, then stood up holding out his hand, "No. More. Fucking. Dates! I told you I'm done with all that shit after the first fucking five."  
  
"Not a date, idiot. He's a mage, an elven mage who's very knowledgeable. He agrees with me on the Dalish by the way, which is why I think you might like him."  
  
"So he hates them as much as you do? Riiiiight. I believe it when I hear it. Wheres Squirt mark two by the way?" he picked up his cat, putting him on his shoulder. Si picked his rather light pack up, frowning at him shaking it, then rolled her eyes when he called his dogs to follow.  
  
"Should be up in the Chantry trying to read. If not there, then I'm going to have serious words with everyone. Oh-"  
  
"Um, hello?"

  
Alex's shoulders slumped at the voice in-front of them, slowly looking up at the man standing there fidgeting with- "Oh for fucks sake. Whys he wearing that? He looks like fucking Anders in that shit!" he waved his hand all over the other man.  
  
"ALEX! Creators, enough already. Talk," she pointed at him walking away with his dogs, "And don't be rude, big brother. I know what your like."  
  
He stuck his fingers up at her, almost dislodging Sarge from his shoulders. Alex then folded his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes at the man still fidgeting with the buckles on the coat. Was WAY to much like fucking Anders old coat, the boots, the fucking bandage too around the calf. Ugh.  
  
"Big brother? She's," Cassidy frowned looking over his shoulder at Si, then back at him, "your sister? But she's an elf."  
  
"Yeah what of it? I have another sister too, and more brothers. Family ain't always born into it, you know. It's bound with blood and fucking bullshit that happens between them all. Varric's like my fucking rogue uncle," he shrugged smirking, "Another friend of mines a perverted Pirate auntie. I think every family has some of those."  
  
The man blushed tucking the black hair behind his ear again, "I wouldn't exactly know. I only have my father and two brothers. Their bastard's, all of them. I, I think Leliana's going to have them killed. She scares me a little."  
  
"HAH! You ain't seen nothing yet. Say hello to me," he bowed slipping into the shadows, "I'm usually the one she sends to... off people."  
  
Cassidy turned around in a full circle trying to find him, almost tripping on the staff strapped to his back, "I, I, I, um. Can, you not do that? I mean, vanish on me?"  
  
"I just wanna know one thing," he murmurs from the shadows, "Are you from the fucking fade, or do you actually look like that? I want the Gods honest truth from you, right now."  
  
"I, I'm from Ostwick originally until I came to Ferelden less the a year ago. I, do look like this. It's my eyes isn't it," Alex watched Cassidy's shoulders slump standing still now, "I hate them."  
  
He came out the shadows a distance away, cocking his head to open side looking the man over before shaking his head, "Why? Cos their purple? Listen here, and listen fucking good," he dipped his head down low, "If I find out your some mother fucking twisted playing tricks on anyone, I'll gut the life outta you. You hear me. I'm tired of people thinking they can play me for the God damn fool. I don't care if you read my so called fucking story, but lemme tell you this: I'm not from around here, never have been."  
  
"I, I have yet to read it! I'm not from the fade at all. I'm from-"  
  
"Stow it. I don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to feed my cat," he turned tail slipping back into the shadows leaving the other man standing there in the valley.  
  
Feed his cat? The fuck was he even thinking saying that, hiding among the trees near the cabin tucked away in it. He's not crying again, he really wasn't when he wipes his eyes on his sleeve, it's just allergies. _Yeah, keep lying to yourself Alex, everyones going to believe it when you finally fall apart, which you haven't fucking done yet._ The bloody fact was, he was falling apart now wrapping his arms around himself.

He's a total God damn mess and he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon Dieu - My God in french :)
> 
> Metallica - Hero Of The Day - https://youtu.be/j713rBJhc70


	3. What Do You Want From Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets involved with the Inquistion fully. He meets Solas finally who meets Lyna too. Cassidy cries, again.

 

"Your still barking up the wrong tree," Alex snorted at her face, "Try Snoopy's."  
  
Cassandra felt the tinge of pink go across her cheeks again. Maker, she felt like a little girl around him. She felt like a giddy little girl pulling the book from the back of her belt, holding it out in-front of her as she shook, "Was not what I meant, Knight. I, wanted you to sign this," the blush went down her neck this time.  
  
"Sign wha-" the man frowned looking at the book in her hands, it flew across the Chantry floor when he knocked out from her grasp, "Like fuck I will. Can't believe anyone read that load of shit at all."  
  
"Bu-but- Varric- the truth-" her bottom lip quivered chasing after the book with the hole through it, "I just want you to sign it," she muttered clutching it close to her chest.  
  
"Fucking hell," Alex threw his hands up in the air, "Fine, whatever. I'll sign it for you. I'm not some fucking hero, alright. But sure, I'll sign it."  
  
A soft snort came from behind them, Trevelyan blushed lowering his head slowly walking through the Chantry, "I, I heard you wished to speak with me."  
  
Cassandra watched Knight flick it open to the portrait's in the front of the book, she watched him thin his mouth thumbing each one of them. He nodded walking off into Josephine's room with it in his hands, before the door slammed behind him. Trevelyan stood besides her, plucking at the buckles again.  
  
"I don't think he wanted to sign it."  
  
"Ugh. I know that," she picked the mud from her cuirass, chewing on her bottom lip now mulling over what the man said. Try Varric? The dwarf wouldn't be interested in someone like her, would he? No, she was acting foolish dropping both her hands to her side, "I summoned you, so we can have a meeting for the next part in all this, Trevelyan."  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
Cassandra slowly looked up at the younger man, his brow was furrowed side-eyeing the door to Josephine's room, where Knight had run off to. The same very room the door flung open again, a little girl came giggling out from it, Knight chasing her with grabby hands. The little girl grinned looking up at her, then pointed to Trevelyan, "Your pretty," she giggled when she got scooped up from the ground.  
  
Knight buried his face in the pale blond hair, "Kessie. Your ma's going to have a baby Halla if she sees you running around out here!"  
  
"But, uncle Alex I'm bored," Kessie pouted, "I want to go play with Lyna."  
  
"Later we will. Shame the rest of them ain't here," Knight grinned taking her back inside Josephine's room, "Don't think this place can handle eight kids running around."  
  
"Eight!" Cassandra realised she just squeaked that out, slamming a hand over her mouth looking anywhere but Knight glaring at her, "Sorry."  
  
The book got thrown by her feet, "Signed it. Do what you want with it. I suggest burning it though," the little girl giggled from around the door, "And you Missy! God, I'll deal with you later."  
  
Cassandra chewed on her lip again, bending down to retrieve the book trying her hardest not to ask why he was such an ass. But she didn't as she waved her hand at the war room door, urging them both to go in there while she clutched the book again. Knight was never that much of an ass in the book. Nor when Varric regaled the supposed tale.  
  
Which makes her think both accounts were lies as usual.  
  
She had no idea what to think watching the backs of both the younger men, Knight trying to keep his distance from Cassidy. She should of realised sooner at Trevelyan's familiar sounding name, how Knight had a relationship with another of that name. It wasn't a very common name at all, even in the Free Marches, it wasn't common. Cassandra sighed tucking the book back into her belt, walking swiftly past them both into the war room.

 "Alex," Leliana smirked under her hood at him, "Hope the day is treating you well."  
  
"Could be better. Could do with a fucking smoke, Lee. Why'd you confiscate them?" Knight scowled at her.  
  
"Because you smoke too much as it is, Alex. And drink!"  
  
Knight waved his hand at her in the air, "As fucking if. I have more. Can't take that shit from me, Lee. Anyway, what the fuck am I doing here?"  
  
Cullen snorted trying to hide his laughter looking away, Josephine's wrote something hastily on her writing board. Trevelyan just stood there not knowing what to do until Alex lent on the table, looking over the map. His dark brown hair flopped over his left eye moving the figurines on the table around, pointing to Cullen who just shrugged.  
  
Cassandra cleared her throat, "We require both of you to go to the Hinterlands," Alex went to head out the door, "Leliana?"  
  
"Mother Giselle is not far, she can help the both of you. She knows more about what is happening far better then what we do. Alex, I know you- Please, mon ami."  
  
The man fisted his hands by his sides facing the door, "I'm not working with him! You want me to go there, fine, sure, I'll go on my own time. But I'm not working with him," Alex pointed right at Trevelyan with a sneer going up his face.  
  
"Makers breath, Alex. Do you want me to bring Sijon in here to deal with you? No? Then settle down," Cullen rolled his eyes leaning on the wall behind him, "Besides, I personally need you to find the Horse-master. We need more mounts for the Inquisition, for our men and for the group Trevelyan will travel with."  
  
Cassandra nodded her head moving some of the figurines around in the map, "We need plenty of them. We need at least two score of them for now."  
  
"Fine, I'll see what I can work out with Dennet. Two score though?" Alex shook his head leaning on the edge of the table, "Might be pushing it."  
  
"Harding will be waiting for you in one of the camps, Alex. She will have more details of whats happening in the Hinterlands," Leliana motioned to Josephine to carry on.  
  
The Ambassador smiled peaking over the top of her board, "Herald, gather as much influence as you can while your there. Help where you can. The more influence the better off we will be."  
  
"You are both going to have to work together. Knight, I do not know what your problem is, but you need to tamper it down," Cassandra glared at him when he glared back at her, "I will be going with you as well to make sure nothing goes wrong. Is that satisfactory. Herald? Knight?"  
  
The door slammed open when Alex stormed out from it through the Chantry, Cullen ran after him shaking his head. They all watched the Commander wrap his arm around Knights shoulders guiding him outside, then around the corner. Cassandra sighed heavily lowering her head, she wondered why he was acting like this, besides Trevelyan looking like someone else.

* * *

  
Lyna skipped up the steps behind him, Kessie held in his right hip going towards the apothecary. To where this Solas was, the one Si keeps going on and on about. Fucking hell, if this was some kind of date thing again, he's going to fucking loose it.  
  
Kessie giggled burying herself against his neck and under Sarge trying to sit on his head again. Lyna nudged his backside, pushing him up the last set of steps to the tall elf standing there looking up at the Breach.  
  
"Sooo, I been told your Solas? Been told to talk to you about sh-stuff."  
  
The man turned around. Alex almost dropped the little girl on the floor, quirking his eyebrow at a man who looked like a shaved Dallin looking back at him.  
  
"I am Solas," the elf dipped his head, then smiled looking behind him, "A Halla? She's very beautiful. Where did you find one such as her?"  
  
"When she was a calf up on Sundermount. Dunno where her mother was though. Her names Lyna, after someone I once knew friend who died," Alex looked the tall elf over again, "You know, you almost look like someone I once knew as well. His name was Dallin Wolff, didn't have as much hair as you. He was bald as a coot. And certainly not a mage."  
  
Solas smiled softly at him, "Dallin sounds rather like Da'len. And you say he was bald? Poor man. I have never seen a Halla outside of captivity walk with a human such as you."  
  
"Captivity? Oh, you mean the Dalish Halla. Yeah, cos I found her young she took to me and my dogs more then she did the Clan. Though," Alex lowered his head putting Kessie on the ground, "she mourned the whole Clan as much as I did when they were murdered."  
  
"Uncle Alex, is that mamae's Clan?"  
  
He shook his head kneeling down to her, "No, not Clan Lavellan, Kessie. Clan Sabrae. Maybe you and Lyna should go and see if uncle Varric has any more stories," he kissed her flaxen head when she smiled wide, nodding.  
  
Lyna nuzzled his face when he stood up, "I know. No, I'll be alright. You make sure she doesn't get Varric into trouble," Alex ran a hand over her head when she nuzzled him again, Sarge climbed on her back before she nudged Kessie on her backside to move.  
  
"You can talk to Halla? Thats an impressive gift even for a human. Though-" Solas cocked his head, not akin to his mabari when they do it, "You are much more different then any other human here."  
  
Alex snorted as he grinned, "You can say that. Not called Outsider for nothing. Or Champion, though I fucking hate that name now. I can hear her as plain as day, and she can hear me. I can feel twisted and shitty blood magic too. I don't dream like you lot do either."

  
"I see. What happened with the clan if I may ask? As you can see, I'm not Dalish myself. Sijon told me what her old Clan did to her, even giving her Vallaslin without her permission as well. It disgusts me to see- to know what the Dalish to do others of their own kind."  
  
"Yeah well, I used to have Vallaslin myself until I got it removed. I respected Clan Sabrae and they respected me too. But anyway," he waved his hand pulling his hidden roll-up out from his jacket pocket, lighting it letting the rush go through him as he sighed, "An old friend, who was once a member of the Clan, killed them all when she fucking well took an ancient demon inside her self. She killed them all as punishment for not letting her fix the bloody Eluvian. Among other things."  
  
Solas' eyes go a little wide, "An Eluvian? What was wrong with it? And, what was this demons name?"  
  
"Audacity. Very, very, very old twisted demon of a thing she slit her wrists for," Alex watch the elf slowly shake his head, "Yeah, I know. The mirror was tainted with the blight, broken in pieces thanks to a Grey Warden smashing it. And she wanted to fix it, all because she wanted to bring back the past with something that would of killed everyone? Not like I haven't seen an Eluvian before, that was the second one. I've seen two more since then, both were broken too.  
  
You know," Alex rolled his shoulders blowing smoke from his mouth, "I still want to see them work properly. The one in the Black Emporium changed peoples appearances through realities. Hence why I am here for one, because once again, someone I once trusted broke it to summon a twisted out from someone else-"  
  
"Scrying an Eluvian?" Solas lent back on the cabin behind him, "How stupid can someone be to do that? Thats not what they were designed for."  
  
Alex shrugged, "I know right. I ain't done yet. He exorcised the twisted from my, from someone- I was summoned at the same moment but took two months before I actually came here, from else where. Ugh, even I get a headache from all that fucking crap sometimes now."  
  
"I see. This is why I find it hard to read you, Da'len. But I can feel you've been touched by several from the fade. One was the twisted," Alex flinched nodding, "and the other was... a Desire of Choice? How did you come across one such as that?"  
  
"When we saved some kid being tormented by twisted, Solas. He's a Dreamer, able to shape the fade around him. Caress, found me when I was lost. I never saw what anyone else saw him as. We, well, we sort of became friends. He was then summoned by a Necromancer to abuse him for his sick bullshit. We," he wiped his eyes looking away from the elf, "became lovers after that when I save his life"  
  
Solas touched his arm, dipping his head to meet his eyes, "I understand. I have many friends in the fade whom are spirits, Alex. What became of him?"  
  
"He died to save my life," tears gently rolled down his cheeks, "when he should of lived. I, fuck, I told him it should be his choice on how to die being here in this world. And he choose to sacrifice himself to save me from Abomination Hawke? Cassidy died, because of me."  
  
The tall elf wrapped his arms around his shoulders, "I am so very sorry, Da'len. I, I can see if there is an echo where he once was. If you wish for me to. But I cannot guarantee there will be anything there. The same for the twisted as well."  
  
"Marethari said that one was going to be born again. But she never said who," he choked on the mans neck, he smelt like wolf and smoke when he inhaled the scent through his nose, "If he, or the other is there somehow, I would like to know."  
  
"I will do what I can, Da'len. I will ask my friends to seek as well. For someone who's not from here," Solas lent back looking over his face, "you are very knowledgeable of certain things."  
  
Alex smiled sadly at him, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, "Sometimes. I helped rebuild Alienage's in Kirkwall and Denerim, I knew both Harhen's well. Cassidy taught me a lot more about his kind. He knew I could see them differently then anyone else here. And I respect good mages more then a lot of people do."  
  
"And for that," Solas smiled bowing to him, "I am thankful for. Not many humans would even care to help the Elvhenan at all. Or even understand the difference between spirits and twisted. Perhaps when the Breach is sealed fully, I can aid you into exploring the fade once more. I am a Dreamer, so it would be far easier then piles of lyrium or casting circles."  
  
Alex smiled wide, "I would like that very much. Ma serannas, Solas."  
  
The elf smiled waving him off. Alex could see he was trying hard not to wipe the sheen from his own eyes looking back up at the Breach, hands held behind his back slowly walking away. Alex stubbed his roll-up out on the wall going past the tavern, Varric was kneeing by his campfire chuckling at Kessie rolling around in the dirt. Lyna had Sarge asleep in her horns kneeling by the fire as well, dozing.  
  
"Well, this is homely, Snoopy. Got any stew left?"  
  
"Menace, pull up some dirt," his friend chuckled pulling the flask out form his back pocket, then offered it to him, "So, whadya think of Chuckles? Kinda strange one if you ask me."  
  
Alex ruffled Kessie's head sitting next to the fire, the little girl climbing in his lap while he took a long swig of Brandy from the flask, "He ain't so bad. No more strange then me, Snoopy. Eh, he wants to take me in the fade again when the Breach is closed. I said yes."  
  
"You sure? After- Okay, might be a good idea."  
  
"Uncle Alex, can I come too? Mamae said I shouldn't go there on my own any more," Kessie tucked herself under his armpit. A small lump formed in his throat when she did that, trying his damnedest not to remember Anders doing the same thing.  
  
"Not that time, Squirt. But I'm sure Solas would be more then happy to ask a friend to watch you when you do go," he kissed the top of her head handing the flask back to the dwarf, "You know I don't dream like you do. Hey Snoopy, you get a reply from Andy yet?"  
  
Varric nodded, "I did. He ain't happy with your right now. Neither is Stormy."  
  
"What the fuck for?"  
  
Kessie squeaked slapping his arm hard, "Thats a swear! Mamae said your not allowed to swear!"  
  
"God," Alex blushed bright red giggling, "Your just like your ma, its scary sometimes. Sorry, I'll try not to swear around you. But anyway," he waved his hand at the snickering dwarf, "Why ain't they happy with me?"  
  
"Because you never told them where you went," Varric sighed sitting heavily down on the ground, "I know Moonbeam's been writing to them, telling them everything that went on. Menace, you gotta snap outta this bull- this sh- Ugh, you know what I mean."  
  
Alex thinned his mouth looking down the steps to Cassidy slowly walking up them, talking to Cassandra along the way, "I had every reason not to tell them. I told you I left for the Anderfels, and I did. Didn't even get bloody- thats not a swear Kessie so don't hit me- didn't even get half way there, when I got a missive from Lee asking me to find out whats going on with the Wardens."  
  
"So, whats going on with that? You said a whole load of people are gone. Was that it?"  
  
"Yeah, it is. Why I was trying not to cry when you ran down those steps. Nate, Giggles, Prickles, Dayglo, all of them are gone from Vigil's. Alistair and Aveline are the only ones left there right now," he chewed his lip still watching the Cassidy wannabe slyly look over at him. He looked away back at his friend, "More are gone else where. Orlais, Ferelden, some near the Anderfels border have gone missing too."  
  
Varric frowned spooning out three bowls of rather delicious smelling stew, "Damn. You don't think its a Calling thing do you? Maferaths ass, maybe Blondie can-" the dwarf cut himself off lowering his head, almost dropping one of the bowls, "Sorry. I, I still can't believe he's gone."  
  
"Me either, Snoopy. Can, can we not talk about that right now?"  
  
"Sure," his friend smiled sadly at him, "So, um, you better write to your sister and brother-in-law, and the Elf and Choir Boy. Gonna be an uncle again, Menace."  
  
Kessie giggled in his lap, "Can I play with them? When can I see auntie Beth again? I miss them," the little girl frowns into her stew, "I don't like it here. I don't like that thingy up there either."  
  
"I dunno, Squirt. Maybe me, you, ma, da, uncle Varric can go pay a visit when that things closed fully? God, I hope so," Alex shuddered, "Bad enough I heard screams coming from that Breach up there. Eh, well, we leave for the Hinterlands tomorrow, so lets hope we get all this crap sorted. KESSIE, THAT WASN'T A SWEAR! Stop hitting me!"

* * *

  
Cullen gave his wife a long suffering look, shaking his head, "You scare me sometimes, love. You know that right?"  
  
"Me? Never."

Cassidy cocked his head to one side, tucking his hair behind his ear slowly walking up to the three of them. His tried his hardest not to look at Alex again, feeling a slight heat go over his cheeks when he stopped a few feet away.  
  
Alex snorted pointing at Cullen's face, "You married her! The fuck you expect from a hotheaded woman like- OWOWOWOW! GOD BLOODY DAMMIT!"  
  
"Brother, I warned you," the short elven woman giggled punching the other man in the arm, "I'm coming with you, end of story."  
  
"Sijon, love. No. What about Kessie?"  
  
The woman rolled her eyes, flapping her hand at Cullen, "I'll take her with me. Alex can look after her when he goes off to do Creators knows what on his own."  
  
"NO! Alright, I'm putting my foot down here. Your not taking our only daughter in the middle of this war, to the bloody Hinterlands! Makers breath, she stays here with me with Josephine."  
  
Cassidy dipped his head to stand beside Sijon, "I, I can make sure she isn't hurt," he smiled softly, "I, just don't want to have to fight as it is."  
  
"Herald? Your agreeing with- No, no, your not taking her with you," Cullen flung his hands up in the air stomping away to his men, roughly pulling a message from one of the mens hands, grumbling under his breath the entire time.  
  
"Well, fuck. Think you finally managed to piss him off," Alex thumbed over his shoulder, smirking, "Si, he's right. You can't take Squirt with us."  
  
Sijon thinned her mouth, punching his arm again then sent a wave of healing through it when the man winced, "Sorry. She's coming and so am I. I'm not going to repeat myself, brother. Anyway, Cassidy said he can look after her. Lyna's going to be coming too. Your bringing all your friends along, so she's coming."  
  
"She's not a fucking pet, Si! Good fucking god," the woman walked away waving in the air, flicking the pale hair from her face going to her husband, "Fine, whatever. Don't blame me if she falls down a well. And what the FUCK do you want?"  
  
Cassidy furrowed his brow, stepping back a few paces away from the man glaring at him, "I, I wanted to talk. To, to make sure your all ready for tomorrow. I, I guess not?"  
  
"Uh huh, sure. You got exactly five minutes to talk, then I'm leaving to pack absolutely nothing in my fucking pack, mate."  
  
He swallowed nodding his head, shifting the borrowed staff on his back, "Why do you hate me? It, it's not my fault I look like someone you once knew. I, I have always looked like this, Alex. I, I have only heard hearsay about you being an Outsider. I never read the Tale either. But, why do you hate me?"  
  
"Just because we're gonna to work together, don't mean I have to give you every fucking detail of my life, kay. I don't know you," the man sneered his lip up again at him, "I don't WANT to know you. So you can fuck right off with yourself. Because I don't wanna know, simple as that."  
  
Alex went to walk away from him, "Whats your void taken problem? I'm trying to be nice to you, I'm trying to understand what I did wrong. But your nothing but a mean, horrible, bastard of a man! No better then a Templar!"  
  
Everyone went quiet around them, Alex was heaving clenching both his fists by his sides slowly turning around to face him. He could see Cullen and Sijon's faces fall onto the ground, the former pushed past his wife trying to get at Alex when he flew off into a rage at him.  
  
"The FUCK did you just call me? A Templar? You fucking, arrogant, stuck up piece of shit!" Alex growled through grit teeth, "You don't know SHIT about me, BOY! You don't know a fucking thing about me. So take your God damn sorry fucking impostor arse out of my fucking sight. Herald or fucking no, your nothing but a fake arsed wannabe pretender, in HIS clothing, trying to be something your fucking not."  
  
"ALEX, thats enough," Cullen pulled the man away when he reached for the daggers on his back, "Everyone, theres nothing to see here, go back to work, NOW! Your coming with me to calm down."  
  
Cassidy stood there in shock, his entire body shook as his fingers twitched along his coat. Tears threatened to fall out from his eyes when he hastily turned around to the lake. He changed directions going up the slope past the nugs. Water dripped from his chin onto his brown over coat, sniffing his nose leaning against the stone wall over looking the Penitents' Crossing.  
  
He wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand when more tears fell. The one person he wanted to make friends with, trying to understand what the man did, was the one person who hated his guts. The only man who's ever caught his eye, was the man who wanted nothing to do with him at all. He wasn't a mess, no, not at all.  
  
He'll just sweep everything under the rug and leave it there.  
  
He had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monaco - What Do You Want From Me? - https://youtu.be/kqqJPaAnbK4
> 
> Okay, Alex is now 27, he has a pierced upper right ear and nose ring. And he has every right to be an arse! (coughs)  
> Sijon is now 22, and yes, Cullen and her are married (Grins)  
> Solas does have hair in this story, much better then Egghead!  
> Um, think thats it for now- NO wait forgot, Cassidy isn't exactly slender. He's a little thick in the body. Fuxing hell, wish I could alter heights and body shape in this game, I really do (Sad face) He's just a little taller then Alex's sixish foot height. About six foot three and change.


	4. Killing Me Softly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy starts to read the Tale. Alex goes to see an old friend.

"Blah, blah, blah," Alex grinned riding backwards on Lyna, Kessie between his legs giggling as much as he was, "See, not that hard."  
  
"Menace, I swear," Varric waggled a finger at him from the back of Si's mount, "Wasn't that bad. Was it?"  
  
Everyone nodded, which just made the dwarf bury his face behind his hands, then nearly fell off the mount grabbing the back of Si's coat. Cassidy chewed on his lip not even entertaining the idea of joining in a conversation that he didn't feel a part of. Solas was riding upfront on the borrowed mount, the elf seemed at ease with everything around him, everyone did. But he didn't.  
  
He didn't at all when Alex looked quickly away from him, once again.  
  
Trouble and Major, he now knows the mabari's name when they tried to plow him over one morning, were trotting along side them all. With Sergent Fluff'N'Paws on the pretty grey mabari's back, like he was meant to be there, washing his paws not caring about anything.  
  
"Brother, Varric just mayhap, have a small thing for-"  
  
The dwarf groaned out loud, "Moonbeam, it ain't that big of a deal. She ain't gonna like an old man like me!"  
  
Cassandra frowned at them all riding up on her own mount, "What are we talking about now?"  
  
"Snoopyhasacrush," Alex spoke out quickly, grinning, "Kinda sickly sweet if you ask me," he pretends to gag, the little girl giggling again, "God, now I sound like Isabela!"  
  
"I hate you. I hate you so much, Menace, its not even funny any more."  
  
"Ugh," Cassandra rolled her eyes kicking her mount, galloping away from them all.  
  
Cassidy just shook his head, going back to looking over everything again. The leaves on the trees were slowly turning red and gold, a slight cool breeze ruffled his hair when he tilted his head up towards the sky, slipping his eyes closed. He's never been this way before, they all had traveled down the Imperial Highway when they all went to Kinloch. But still, it was all very pretty, if he just opened his eyes again to look.  
  
He kept them closed when Solas urged the mount on to gallop. He wasn't scared being on the back of a horse, he just didn't want to see everything go by so fast he couldn't tell what it all was again.  
  
The cool breeze felt biting going this fast, tugging, snapping at his hair, whipping it around his face holding on for dear life.  
  
"LYNA! Slow down! Oh, God, Kessie hold on tight!" he heard Alex shout, peaking one eye open he saw the man turning around on the Halla's back, the little girl in-front holding onto the beautiful creatures horns, "Bloody hell, I know you want to see- I know alright- No, on our own."  
  
He frowned opening both eyes to the man talking to the Halla.  
  
"No Lyna. Ugh, fine, we'll go after eating then."  
  
"He can talk to Halla, Cassidy," Solas nearly made him fall off the back of the mount, when he looked over his shoulder to him, "A very rare gift among humans."  
  
He nodded, mouthing 'Oh' to the elf. He didn't know there was such a thing as talking to Halla. Or any animal for that matter. But Alex's mabari understood him, even the cat understood him. Cassidy was now even more curious of the man, even though he's made it quite clear over the past fortnight he wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe he should just read the book Varric gave to him, to see why he is the way he is now. If it'll even explain anything in it, that was.  
  
Solas pulled on the reigns slowing the mount down at the campsite coming into view. Which made him sigh out in relief internally looking it over. Cassandra was already there talking to a dwarf, who's head was under a hood at the moment so he couldn't see their face.  
  
He practically fell off the back of the mount with a grunt, his staff clattered on the ground when he put his hands on his knees, shaking his head, "I, will never get used to that. Just so you know."  
  
"It will get easier with practice, Cassidy. Perhaps when Alex goes to the Horse-master, he can find you a mount suited to your station," Solas dipped his head, smiling at him.  
  
"Not sure if that was a mock of my name, or because I have never ridden before?"  
  
The elf didn't answer tugging on the reigns for the horse to follow him. Void, that was a little rude. Wasn't it? Cassidy picked up his dropped staff, tying it on his back slowly making his way to the camp. The dwarf pulled their hood back, smiling wide at them all with her arms open. She was a cute button of thing, with freckles all over her face, pretty green eyes and tumbles of light brown hair framing her head.  
  
"Welcome Herald, to the Hinterlands," she bowed at him, "I'm Harding, your lead scout to whatever you wish to know. Hello Alex, you cheeky bugger you."  
  
"Harding?" Varric cocked his head smirking at her, "Ever been to Kirkwall?"  
  
"Can't say that I have. Why?"  
  
He could see out the corner of his eye Alex trying not to laugh when Varric then said, "Because you'll be Harding in HighTown!"

Cassandra scoffed loudly, clouting the dwarf on the back of his head. Alex was doubled over almost on the floor laughing hard, Kessie joining him. Solas looked puzzled between them all, then brushed it all off to wander away with Si talking to him. Cassidy frowned for a few moments to why Varric even said that.  
  
It dawned on him, Hard in- He slapped a hand over his face, laughing as well.  
  
"Varric, that was terrible!"  
  
"Kid, you dunno the half of it. Menace, get your sorry ass up off the floor," the dwarf nudged the man with his boot, "and go do your thing."  
  
Cassidy calmed himself down, dipping his head at Harding blinking rapidly at him, "Its a book he has written. So, well, what can you tell me about this place. I, I have never been here before."  
  
He only partially listened to her talking about the Hinterlands, he heard Redcliffe be mentioned and the infighting throughout the place. But his eyes wandered looking over at Alex again. The man ran down the slope with his Halla and his pets, grabbing a loaf of bread and other things from the table stuffing them in his jacket, before remounting the Halla.  
  
Then he rode off away from them all. Now what was the man doing?  
  
Cassidy nodded his head when Harding made her excuses, deciding on what to do first. Eat, or follow the man. No, he'll eat and read the book. Alex will come back when he's good and ready, he hoped.

* * *

  
Alex looked about himself on-top of the rise, pulling a smoke from his jacket leaning against the nearest tree. Lyna was busily munching on good grass around them, his dogs and cat busily eating the meat and cheese he took. He sighed flicking his wrist to snuff the match out, then twirled it around in his fingers looking up at the stars peaking through the blue above.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Dammit Cole! Every bloody time," Alex put a hand on his racing heart at the boy standing there, "I didn't think you'd be here just yet."  
  
Cole tilted his head under his hat at him, "Your still hurting. I can help, Alex. But," the boy fidgeted with his sleeves, "I, had to come. So many hurts to heal, I can't find them."  
  
"Shit. I was hoping," he sighed leaning back against the tree, "Guess it was a little to much to ask right now. How was Wynne?"  
  
"Gone, sleeping, gave up Faith to save her. Shayle shouted, 'golem's don't cry,' she stomped on the ground. Rhys told me to go, I hid instead. Dark, damp, no-where to go. I cried too."  
  
Alex dropped his smoke on the ground, bringing in Cole for a hug, "I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I tried to come back to all of you, but," he sniffed on the boys shoulders, "Lee sent me else where."  
  
"It will be fine, Alex. I can make the hurt go, but, I don't want it to go. I want to remember. Shayle left too with them, keep them safe without me. I, I don't know what to do, Alex," Cole looked up at him with his lyrium coloured eyes, "help me?"  
  
"Well," he brushed the long flopping blond hair from the boys eyes, putting the hat on his head instead, "you can come with us. Dunno how anyone else there will react to you though. Solas might like you."  
  
Cole grinned wrapping both his arms around his waist, "I would like that. Hello Trouble, Major, Sarge and Lyna. I'm coming too!"  
  
The Halla put her head on the boys, ruffling his hair with her snorts.  
  
"I don't know, I haven't seen one yet."  
  
"Really you two? She doesn't need a mate," Alex exasperated out at the pair of them "Lyna, I, well- No, never thought of it that way. Okay, we'll find you a mate for Kessie's sake then."  
  
"Where would more Halla be?" Cole cocked his head retrieving his hat, "I, I have never been anywhere much before."  
  
Alex hummed under his breath picking his cat up, "The Dales? I've never been there, I have no idea where else they might be. Eh, I'll figure something out. Get on Lyna's back, Cole. I'm bloody starving right now, could do with Varric's stew."  
  
"Theres bread in your pocket, Alex."  
  
He shook his head, "Thats for the birds. The ones your going to be feeding, cos I know you will."

* * *

  
Cassidy put his hand to his mouth reading the passage, his other hand tracing down the page on the account. He was the only one up at the point, sitting around the campfire as his fingers trailed down the next page. That page had a picture of Alex much younger with a tattooed face, which the man no longer had any more. But it wasn't that which made him put his hand to his mouth.  
  
No, it was the fact there was a picture next to it, with a face similar to his own. Shorn off horns, a cheeky grin, gold hoops throughout his face, a tail wrapped around Alex's arm. A Desire of Choice, a spirit, looked back at him with amethyst eyes. His own eyes. He didn't know what to do when he snapped the book shut, putting it to one side running both hands down his face.  
  
Cassidy, was his name. One Alex gave to him from where he was from. He side-eyed the book sitting there, thrumming his fingers on his knees deciding whether to pick it up again and continue.  
  
He didn't hear the Halla coming back, he didn't hear the dogs going off into an empty tent with the cat. He didn't expect a boy to be sitting in-front of him with a large floppy hat, staring at him with lyrium blue eyes.  
  
"It won't tell you everything. 'Bullshit, most of it anyway. It'll buy a few more years, Menace.' Varric promised he wouldn't put everything in it."  
  
He nearly fell backwards off the log when the boy grinned at him, "Who- Where- Um?"  
  
"I am Cole," the boy cocked his head, pale blond hair almost covered his eyes holding his hand out, "He doesn't like your wearing his clothes. That its none, not two any more. He's scared."  
  
"I, I," Cassidy looked about himself for help. When he looked back the boy was gone, replaced with a single gold earring with a red feather hanging from the end, "What? Wait, where'd you go?"  
  
The boy was no-where to be seen at all when he picked up the gold hoop, the red feather glistened in the fire light. Gold went through it one way, blue the other. He saw a picture at the front of the book with another wearing the exact same earring. Anders. The mage who, the mage who helped Alex start everything.  
  
Cassidy swallowed sharply putting the thing on the log, backing away slightly from it.  
  
"Please tell me I'm dreaming all of this right now," he rubbed his eyes, "Either that, or I'm slowly going insane."  
  
"All of the above?" a deep voice behind him nearly sent him off the log again, "Fucking hell, I see Cole's already started," Alex picked up the earring from the wood sighing heavily, "God fucking dammit, Cole. No more going through my shit."  
  
"Who, who was that?"  
  
Alex snorted sitting down on the opposite side of the log, gazing into the fire thumbing the feather, "Cole? He's a spirit that tried to help, only to fuck up like everyone else does in their life."  
  
Cassidy frowned side-eyeing the man, "He, he's a spirit? But-"  
  
"How does he vanish? He just does, its how he is," Alex shrugged still not looking at him, "Like me too. I learned that on the fly, learned a LOT of shit on the fly."  
  
"Oh. I, um, where does that saying come from? I've never heard it before. Leliana said it to me."  
  
"Because I was the one to say it to her," the man side-eyed him now, tucking the earring in his jacket pulling out something else, "I'm not a mean, horrible, bastard of a man. I just been through a shit tonne, more so these past few years."  
  
He nodded his head mutely looking fully at Alex now, "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm trying but I have no idea how to begin, where to begin. Nothing. I, I would ask, but I know you won't tell me what happened. The earring belonged to Anders, didn't it?"  
  
"Yeah well, you got all of us to help you. Fuck knows I ain't got bugger else to do any more," the man shrugged lighting something, letting it hang from the corner of his mouth as smoke wafted upward into to the sky, "And yeah, that did belong to Anders. Cole shouldn't of fucking well been going through my stuff again. Cheeky shit. Anders died a few years back, he died from his fucking Taint going through him."  
  
Cassidy's eyes widen scooting up on the log, "Grey Warden Taint? I, I'm so sorry. I," he looked into the fire, little sparks flittered into the sky too, "I started to read the book. The boy, Cole, said it didn't have everything in it."  
  
"It don't. I asked Snoopy to keep mine and Anders on off relationship out of it. It kinda got out anyway," Alex sighed lowering his head, "He was supposed to live longer, but we found out the fucking Taint can claim any Warden, at any time, not twenty or thirty years after the fact. I helped him through it with his son, with my adopted sister, his entire family around him. I, fuck, I didn't even see it coming.  
  
Hurt like shit when he slipped away. Marethari said I wouldn't see something coming. I wasn't expecting it to be that at all. Still hurts a few years later, same with, well, my Cassidy."  
  
Cassidy furrowed his brow slowly looking up, Alex was looking him dead in the face which just sent heat going across it again, "I, I'm sorry. I know thats an insufficient thing to say, and you have no doubt heard it a thousand times before. So I won't say it again, unless I say something very stupid."  
  
"Cole will probably say it for ya," Alex smirked at him, "He does that you know. Besides the whole 'Hello I'm Cole,' then vanish before you can say, 'What the fucking hell!'"  
  
"So I've seen," he smiled back at the man, "I, I didn't always wear these," he plucked at the buckles on his coat, "Leliana loaned them to me instead of wearing the rags I had on. I, truth be told, am not fond of feathers and oddly placed buckles."  
  
Alex threw his head back and laughed loud into the sky, several grunts and loud snores echoed around them when he slammed a hand on his mouth laughing behind it, "I have no idea why the fuck people think its a good idea to replicate Anders old clothing, I really don't. Don't see people swishing about in long black leathers coats, black leather pants and shit now, do you?"  
  
"Long, black-" Cassidy's eyes almost glazed over thinking about it. He coughed blushing again as Alex flicked grass his way, "Um, I, think I would prefer that, then this."  
  
"Fucking hell. You too? Alrightly then, next time back in Haven, speak to Harrit. I ain't no fucking Scrooge, even if I am an arse."  
  
"You read Tate Wolff's books too?"  
  
Alex stood up from the wood, chuckling, "I am Tate Wolff, Cass."  
  
His mouth went wide when the man just vanished into thin air. He, he was Tate Wolff too! Void take it all, he had no idea. More heat went over his face when he finally closed his mouth, chewing on his bottom lip instead. Thinking.  
  
"He will like you in black leather if you wear it," a soft voice whispered beside him, "He's still scared though."  
  
Cassidy fell off the log for real this time, his legs stuck up in the air as Cole smiled down at him from above, before he too, just vanished into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY, Cole is early :)  
> For the record, I lost some of my screen shots, not a happy bunny.  
> Cole for this story, isn't his supposed 20/21 year old age. He's around sixteen in human terms.
> 
> Poor Anders :( (David Gaider has said, that the thirty year time frame should never of been said at all. He did say that the number varies, so, I took a little liberty with it.) http://swooping-is-bad.livejournal.com/1286233.html
> 
> Fugees - Killing Me Softly - https://youtu.be/8ppz-cwLeqo


	5. Firestarter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Crossroads. Cassidy and Alex talk a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning - Blood Magic. We all know how sucky that crap is.
> 
> The Prodigy - Firestarter - https://youtu.be/QrkUlAb-I8Y

He watched in awe from the top of the slope with the little girl in his arms. Well not awe, more like disgust and awe at the same time as Templar and Rebel Mage alike swarmed the Crossroads. Inquisition scouts were getting swamped by them all fighting right there, while villagers tried to scramble away from it. No side was safe when the entire mass attacked anyone in their path.  
  
Spells went off in a wild tangents, Templars Smites and Cleanse hit nothing but dirt the more they fought. Cassidy wrinkled his nose up at it all, shielding Kessie's eyes from people being slaughtered below them like cattle. This, is what his brethren had resorted too? This is what Templars had become now? He wanted nothing to do with people he knew among the throng of bodies fighting each other.  
  
Mages he knew well from Ostwick killing villagers.  
  
"Purple eyes? I'm scared," Kessie buried her face into his hair, "Is, is mamae and my uncles alright?"  
  
"They are. Void, I'm trying not to look myself," he really didn't when Alex vanished in the middle of everyone, several bodies just had blood pour from huge neck wounds before they fell onto the ground dead.  
  
The man reappeared, twirling his odd shaped weapons in his hand, blowing a kiss towards a Templar. The man roared charging full bore at him with a massive shield, Alex barked a laugh dancing out the way, before he kicked the man in the back sending him and the shield clattering onto the cobblestones. He watched the man use the daggers to rip the Templars helmet off, then drove them in deep at the back of his head.  
  
He turned away then, he didn't want to watch any more. Vomit slowly rose in his mouth at the pungent smell of blood, effluvia... and burning skin.  
  
Alex's cat came running back up the slope with something in its mouth, before dropping it by his feet when he heard Sarge mew loudly up at him. Cassidy looked down, quirking an eyebrow at the cat then to the thing by his feet.  
  
"You found a mouse, in all that fighting?"  
  
Sarge mewed rubbing his head on his leg.  
  
"I don't know whether to be impressed, or a little worried," he chuckled bending down to pick Sarge up too, "Your a strange little cat, aren't you."  
  
A high pitched scream echoed through everything. His heart raced looking back down the slope, his lips parted wide at the mass of twisted being summoned from dead bodies stacking up around everyone. Cassidy slowly walked backwards up the path, backing away from it all, hoping to the Void and beyond none of the people he's barely begun to know were being slaughtered down there.  
  
The hair on his skin rose higher and higher, the feeling of being flayed alive rocked through his core as more twisted were summoned.  
  
"Holy shit," he muttered turning tail and ran with both cat and girl in his arms, "Void, void, void, oh my damn void!"  
  
Cassidy's whole body shook with how scared he was right now, Kessie shook just as much clinging onto him for dear life, running back up to the camp where the other scouts were. Where other Inquisition mages were waiting for an order, any order. His heart pounded as much as his feet were on the ground, beads of sweat rolled down his brow trying to catch his breath. It felt so far away, everything felt far away but right on-top of him as his thighs burned.  
  
Harding spotted him first running towards her, "Herald? Whats-" her eyes go huge looking behind him, "GET READY! WE HAVE INCOMING BLOOD MAGES!"  
  
The entire encampment formed up around him, Harding waving her hand guiding him further away. He could hear behind him the first of the Inquisition mages chant under their breaths, muttering incantations, feeling a shield of magic wrap around him, around them all. He could hear arrows being shot from bows, metal striking metal as the Blood Mages and twisted attacked them.  
  
Cassidy screwed his eyes shut at the first sound of screaming behind him.  
  
"Herald, hurry," Harding urged him on more, pulling on his coat further up the slope, "Maker, wheres the rest of them?"  
  
"I, I, I don't know," he could feel tears rolling down his face as he panted, "Void, I don't know."  
  
Kessie was crying hard into his neck, still shaking as much as he was darting through trees. Stray pieces of magic danced through her fingers that were dug in hard on his neck, almost set the feathers on his coat on fire. He knows what its like to be that scared when magic went stray like that. He could feel his own rip right through him the more he pushed on.  
  
He knew it would be bad, the infighting. But not this bad when his legs nearly gave out from the exertion. His brethren turning to Blood Magic at all, shouldn't surprise him in the least, but he didn't think they'd use every single body there to bring forth twisted. Vomit rose back up in his mouth again when his legs did give out, dropping the cat onto the ground with a yowl. Kessie held on tighter when he tried to get back up, but his body just seized as he shook from fear.  
  
"I have Sarge," a soft voice next to him made him flinch, "I have you."  
  
"Cole," he sobbed out looking at the boy there, "Whe-whe-wheres everyone else?"  
  
The boy pointed back down the slope, "Angry, very angry. 'Kill or be eaten by monsters?' he said. 'Not on my watch! I won't allow it.' He's coming. He's angry. He's not crying again, like hell is he crying again. Twin not twin, hurt, heal, hurt again."  
  
"I don't know who you are, but thanks, I think?" Harding sat on the ground panting, "Maker take it. Where did they all come from? My scouts never reported this!"  
  
"I am Cole. Your very pretty, like the sun shining on Marvs armour when it catches. I can help."  
  
Harding frowned nodding her head, "Okay then. Thank you Cole."  
  
"They come from holes not whole. Dusty roads, hidden away. Water trickles like lapping dogs tongues. Damp, cramped, 'We're not taking this any more!' He's nearly here," Cole grinned from under his hat, "Hurt, someones hurt. Here," he pushed the cat into Hardings hands, "He makes hurt go away like I can."  
  
Cassidy choked on another sob, himself sitting down, turning around on his backside to look back down the slope. Even from here he could see more piles of bodies, the smell, the flaying feeling still ripped right through him. He wiped his eyes with his free hand, he realises he lost his staff somewhere down there. He didn't know if he wanted it back now. Kessie climbed into his lap, her magic had stopped sparking as much as his did, but he could feel it right on the edge through her little fingers still held firmly around his neck.  
  
"There you are," a dirty sounding drolling voice came slowly up between the trees towards them, "Can't hide from me so called Herald of Andraste."  
  
Several hideously twisted things run up with the voice, who wore armour, who held a sword and shield in his hands grinning wide at them, "Pathetic little shit, ain't you. Can't even fight your own battles? Just HAD to send him after us."  
  
"St-sta-stay back," Cassidy held out one hand, the one that glowed, still trying to scoot on his backside away from the man coming towards them all, "I, I don't-"  
  
"Yeah, thats right. You don't. Kill him, kill them all. Keep the girl alive. I have plans for her," the armoured man pointed the sword at them all as the hideous things charged up through the trees.  
  
Cole vanished beside him, Harding pulled the bow from her back aiming it at the monsters roaring at them. He himself just let cold hit them, even if he didn't want to fight, he wasn't going to let these things take Kessie no matter what. Fire formed up in his fade piece hand, sparks from it made the fire tinge green before he sent that out too.  
  
Void, he shook to much to do any more, he didn't want to accidentally kill the two fighting for him.  
  
Two went down when Cole reappeared with smalls daggers held in his hands, the boy ducked out the way taking another's head away from shoulders. The dusty voice just barked a single laugh at them trying to take them all down.  
  
"Sad you look like him, Herald. I would of kept you alive it you weren't a threat. Oh well-" the mans eyes go wide when he was kicked to the floor, everything dropping away from his grasp rolling onto his back kicking, struggling at nothing, "Get the void off me you bastard!"  
  
"I fucking knew you'd end up turning, Dayglo! Leader," Alex came from his shadows, one of his daggers laying over the armoured mans neck, "of the supposed Rebel Mages. Your nothing, you hear me, NOTHING!"  
  
"So says the man who started this whole shit off. Just look at you," Alex was pushed off the man laying on the ground, skidding back down the slope almost colliding with a tree, "Yeah, your still nothing but a bloody whore. A pathetic slut of a whore."  
  
Kessie squirmed in Cassidy's lap, trying to turn around as she shook, "Thats my uncle! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  
  
"Why the fuck haven't you killed them yet? Makers breath, do I have to do everything myself," this man picked up his weapons again, Cassidy can clearly see huge scars running down from forehead to chin, he can see the pale blue eyes the raven black hair of another from the Tale sneering at him, "And you, little girl. Well, you look just like your elven whore of a mother too. Who'd she fuck to spawn you, huh?"  
  
Cole pushed the man back down again, he could see Alex coming back up the slope with a gash over his eye. He swallowed loudly clamping his eyes shut when more screaming echoed through the woods, the sound of gentle music tik-tik-clunking further down the slope. The smell of the fade hit his nose as more magic wrapped around him and the little girl, Sarge crawling into his coat to hide from everything.  
  
Heat from a fireball touched his skin, the smell of burning rotten meat nearly made him vomit over Kessie held firmly in his arms. He can hear more booted feet coming towards them, the musical sound of something ringing through his ears almost calmed him down. The girl squirmed in his lap again, he could feel her tears drop onto his hands as much as they dripped from his chin sitting there in the dirt.  
  
"I warned you, Dayglo. I fucking warned you, didn't I. Get this fucking arsehole out of my sight."  
  
He peaked one eye open at the armoured man being chained by blooded scouts and Harding. The man spat at Alex, trying to round on him.  
  
"It'll never be that easy, sweetheart. This is just the beginning of everything, babe. Still a pathetic slut of a whore who accounts for nothing, though."  
  
"I gave you a chance, I sent you back. Then you went missing? How low the mighty Ex-Warden Commander has fallen. Enjoy the next life, you fucking arsehole," Alex waved his hand at the scouts to take him away, he looked over at him now dropping both daggers onto the ground when he run up the slope, "Shit. Kessie, Cass, you alright?"  
  
He nodded letting the little girl go when she flew out of his lap, straight into Alex's arms. Sarge poked his head out from his coat, mewing loudly up at him, going back to hiding again.  
  
"Uncle Alex. Wheres mamae?"  
  
"She's fine, Squirt, shes fine. When we go down there, don't look, kay. Promise me you won't look."  
  
The little girl nodded on his shoulder when he picked her up. Cassidy still sat there trying to calm absolutely everything down in him, his heart still hammered in his chest slowly lifting his head to meet cat like eyes looking at him. Alex put his hand out to him, motioning with his head. He took it being pulled up from the floor, only to be brought in for a hug.  
  
Cassidy didn't exactly know what to do with the dark brown hair resting on his shoulder at all, even more so at the soft sound of a choked sob into feathers.  
  
He just nodded, putting both his hands on the mans own shoulders still shaking. He could feel the cat shimmying up inside his coat, poking his head out from the collar when Alex pulled back, nodding his own head walking away from him, not even looking going back down the slope.  
  
"I have your shinies, Alex," Cole picked up the daggers from the ground, "I found your staff too. Someone tripped over it," the boy grinned.  
  
"Can you heal, Cassidy?"  
  
He startled at Alex's deep voice asking him a question going back towards the Crossroads, trying his hardest not to look at the amount of dead laying around, "I, I, I can't."  
  
"Kay. Can you stitch? Dress wounds?"  
  
"I, I can," he nodded wiping his sweaty palms on his coat.  
  
"Good, do that. They need to see you here, even if you did not fight. They need that right now more then anything," Cassandra limped beside them, "I am glad to see you alive though, Herald. And little Kessie."  
  
"Cole," the boy nodded his head running backwards, "Thank you. Don't forget spider webs!" Alex sighed looking back at him again, "He stooped so low, I can't believe it. I really can't."  
  
Cassidy shucked out of his coat, "Wh-who was that? I, I've seen his picture in the book, but who-"  
  
"Daylen Amell. Former Grey Warden, Ex-Warden Commander, former lover of mine as well. Sort of my twin, but not," Alex wrinkled his nose up, "For someone who was against Blood Magic, against using anything from the fade in that way, he certainly didn't heed his own fucking advice. Son of a bitch."

* * *

  
Smoke slowly lifted from his lips as he sat there staring over the Crossroads. He sat there staring at the mass dug out pits, ready to be lit, the bodies sent to the fucking Maker. Ugh, Alex ran a hand over his hair, this entire thing was a huge pile of mabari shit when he flicked the butt away.  
  
Daylen fucking Amell sat against the wall in chains, as much as others the Inquisition scouts managed to round up from hidden camps. Mage and Templar alike sat side by side each other, waiting for their sentencing, waiting to be strung up like they fucking should be.  
  
Daylen raged day and night, they were all doomed, all of them. Calling him every name under the sun whenever Alex walked past him. He knew it was coming when Daylen started acting strange at Vigil's. The way he hid his smirk behind false smiles at everyone. Then he goes missing when all the circles fell, when the Mages had no leader to round them all up? Fucking son of a bitch turned on everyone, turning against everything he, and Alex stood for.  
  
He spat on the ground stretching his legs out in-front of him, Anders would of had a massive fit if he could see his old friend now.  
  
"Alex?" a soft voice whispered next to him, "I, I brought you something to drink."  
  
He tilted his head to one side to the shadow joining him on the ground, "Give it to someone who needs it, not me."  
  
"You need it as much as they do. Cole found Mother Giselle," Cassidy handed him a canteen looking away, "She, she was locked up in a basement away from the fighting. We're, all to meet her soon."  
  
"I did this," Alex muttered drawing his knees up under his chin, "I fucking started this whole shit off with Anders. We had no idea it would amount to this at all. Fuck."  
  
He could feel the younger man scoot closer, "I, for one am thankful. You have no idea what most had to deal with in Ostwick. What the Templars did to the Enchanters there as well."  
  
"Trust me, I know," Alex sighed resting his head on his knees looking at Cassidy, "Saw enough of it in Kirkwall. Nearly went through it myself as well. Every mage I have ever know, who come from some fucking circle or other, has the same fucking story. Either they went through it, or they saw it happen with others."  
  
"My father did this to me," the younger ran his fingers over his broken nose, over the scar running down it, down his cheek, "He called me a curse on the family. He hauled me off to Ostwick after he did that to me. One of the Templars gave me the scar on my lips, calling me a freak of a demon because of my eyes. I came into my magic a bit late in life, I was just fifteen when it happened."  
  
Alex nodded on his knees unscrewing the cap of the canteen with his hands wrapped around his leg, "Anders had a similar story, cept his scars were on his back and over his navel. Sijon was exiled from her clan because she was a mage. Daylen, his brothers and sisters were split up in different circles. Andy was sent to the circle, ripped away from his mum, who was from Kinloch like Anders was.  
  
Andy's his only son, who now has seven fucking kids with another mage, Bethany Hawke. Carver and Maurevar only surviving relative now. Most mages I've met," he stopped to drink the cool water from the canteen, "are good people. Never want to even go against the grain of shit, you know. Malcolm Hawke, her father, was a Blood Healer. He was forced to use blood, to go against everything he was for the Wardens. But it don't make all this shit any better, I started this, I helped do all this around us. And I can't take it back any more."  
  
"I have to disagree, Alex. Its been a thousand years Mages have been locked away, been forced to suffer in many cases against their will. You gave us all a chance, even if some have gone against better teachings," Cassidy lent his shoulder in him, "All the magic I can do is fire and ice, thats it. I can barely summon a shield to protect myself. I can barely summon a wisp for light either."  
  
Alex lent back on him stretching his legs out again, "Don't make me like you. I have very big fucking trust issues now. I trust very few people, except those I call family," he pointed at Varric, at Sijon and Kessie, "I trust spirits more then anything, why Cole took to me. Think thats why Solas took to me too. But, I really don't trust many people any more. So, as I said, don't make me like you."  
  
"I, I have very few friends. Had, very few friends even in the circle. You don't have to trust me, you don't have to like me. Just, be my friend, thats all I ask for."  
  
"Which is just," Alex knocked Cassidy's shoulder, "going to make me like you. Can't guarantee I won't go off on one every now and then. Just how I am now."  
  
Cassidy just chuckled softly against him, his black hair brushing his shoulder the more he laughed, "Just try not to aim at me again. Please?"

* * *

  
  
The four of them walked through the village to the Mother tending wounded near one of the partially burnt down wooden home. Solas darted off to help more who arrived, coming from Redcliffe way on the back of carts. Sijon, Kessie, Harding were heading back to Haven to report in, seeing as their ravens were all used in Blood Magic.  
  
Cassidy pulled the cat out from his coat when it snuck in there again to hide, putting him on-top of Trouble who then wandered away with her brother else where.  
  
The Mother slowly lifter her head when they got closer, Varric tugged on Cassandra's arm allowing him and Alex to speak to her alone.  
  
"The one they call the Herald of Andraste? I thank you for your aid these past few days," she shook her head, brushing the dirt from her knees, "It is sad it came down to all this, no?"  
  
"Unfortunately, yes. Do you require anything?"  
  
Mother Giselle smiled softly, motioning with her hand for them to follow, "We have enough thanks to the Inquisition. I, do wish this would be at a better time. But it is not. I know those who denounce the Inquisition, those who denounce who you are. They are grandstanding to become the next Divine."  
  
"Fucks sake. No offence Mother, this is why I fucking hate the Chantry and the bullshit they pull," Alex rolled his eyes, "This shit right here," he motioned both his hands over to people laying on the ground, in cots, on walls, "will never fall under their jurisdiction at all. Sorry Serah."  
  
The woman chuckled nodding her head, "But yet, I am here helping. Am I not? It is quite alright, Champion, most of the Mothers agree with you. As do I. They are frightened of you, Herald. They fear the unknown of who and what you are."  
  
"I, I was just in the wrong place. Nothing more," he frowned skimming his eyes down to his hand, "What, would you have me do then?"  
  
"Go to them, talk to them. Show them you are nothing to be feared. They have only heard frightful tales of you. But it is all hearsay, no? I will go to Haven," she started to walk away from them both, "I will give Leliana the names of who will listen. And those who will not. I wish you both luck."  
  
Cassidy heard the man next to him let out a loud sigh, "Well fuck. That means we're going to Val Royeaux? Yeah, their just going to fucking well LOVE me there."  
  
"You think they will like me any more? A mage, who is now somehow Andraste's bastard spawn? Void take it all," he sighed loud too looking over everything, "Is it too late to go hide?"  
  
"I think that ship sailed, mate. Ugh, I really am turning into Isabela with the fucking nautical terms. Cass, if I start saying Keelhauled or anything to do with knots, kill me."  
  
Cassidy snorted under his breath, pushing the man on his shoulder to move, "I said this was handy when it guided me to a tear, Alex. I thought it was funny at the wrong time though."  
  
Alex wrinkled his nose up as he laughed, nudging his arm walking through the village, "Oh I bet Snoopy secretly fucking loved that shit. I know what he's like."  
  
"Do, do you give everyone nicknames as much as he does?"  
  
"Yeah," the man nodded, "Well, not everyone. Sebastian is just Seb, he doesn't need one. Snoopy calls him Choir Boy. He, well, hes a pious Prince from StarkHaven. I hated his guts when I first met him in ugly fucking white and gold armour. Put him in the same box as every Chantry fucker out there," Alex stopped in the middle of the square, "He wasn't. He accepted me, who I was, where I came from. We spoke for hours about the Maker, about God, the similarity between our worlds. everything.  
  
He's a damn good friend now. Married Snowy, also known as Fenris or real name Leto. When me and Anders fled, we made out we where going to Nevarra. We didn't. We went to StarkHaven to get Seb's throne back from his cousin. So now he's married an elf, scandal enough, expecting their first in a few months time too. Fucking hell, so much has happened these past years, I can't keep up with it all sometimes."  
  
Cassidy frowned tucking his hair behind his ear, "So you knew a Prince? And Fenris sounds like a mans name? Sorry, this is just a little too much for me also."  
  
"It gets worse, trust me on that, kid," Varric saunted up to them twirling a bolt in his fingers, "Menace knows a Prince, a former King who's back in the Wardens. Put the Kings cousin on the throne, became Ferelden's first- Want me to go on?"  
  
"VOID! No, no, I'm fine. I think?"  
  
Alex plucked the bolt from the dwarfs fingers when he scarpered off, snickering the entire time, "SNOOPY! I fucking swear on EVERYTHING! Ugh, I would say read that fucking book, but I won't. Thats the fucking past. I'm trying to look forward now, not backwards, even if it does crop up every now and then to bite my fucking arse."  
  
"Dark hair, tumbling. Curling around fingers. One, two, three, one, two, three. A dance, a twirl, foot in the right place. I'm too old for this shit."  
  
"Cole? Who's that about," Alex asked the boy who crept up behind them, "Oh God, please tell me it's not Snoopy about the Seeker is it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Cassidy bit back a chuckle at Alex's face when the man rolled his eyes. The boy took his hat off, thumbing the rim through his fingers, cocking his head to one side looking up at him now. A question was on Cole's face. He nodded his head, the boy grinned putting his hat back on.  
  
"Can I stay? Alex said I can, but, but I want to ask you. I can hide, small, unnoticed in the dark. I, I can end pain, no more hurt. Heal the wounds, heal the hurt, give, take, give, give, live and die. Its loud here? Your loud too."  
  
"I don't see why not, Cole. Your Alex's friend, you helped me and Kessie too. Even if you are, a little strange," Cassidy smiled softly.  
  
Cole wrapped himself around the other mans waist grinning up at him, "I can stay!"


	6. Wide Open Space.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex denys anything is going on. A certain someone gets what they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MIld warning- Death. Near death. Mild panic attack.
> 
> Mansun - Wide Open Space - https://youtu.be/zYH_Joto9VA

Alex pulled his headphones down to his neck, the music still played while he looked through the messages. Several were for the Herald, which he'll give to the man when he wakes up. But several were addressed to him, one most of all made his entire face split into a grin.  
  
Lia had written to him, the official Kirkwall seal of the guard was stamped on it. And of course, the flower by his name as usual.  
  
He gripped it tight in his hand before hiding that to read later, along with the reply from Fenris and Seb. He frowned at another one in particular, the heavy sprawling script of Thaddeus was easily recognisable when he shook his head, stuffing that in a different pocket. Xenon wanted something or other, no doubt. Bloody Black Emporium. Bloody fucking bony mage.  
  
Alex sat down on the broken wall over looking Redcliffe's outskirts, Dennet's ranch less then a mile away from the camp. He lit his first morning smoke pulling his headphones back on his head, and just lets the music fill him closing his eyes.  
  
"I'm in a wide open space, it's freezing. You'll never get to heaven with a smile on your face from me," he sung softly swinging his legs over the broken wall, "I'm in a wide open space, I'm staring. There's something quite bizarre I cannot see."  
  
"Perhaps its the Breach," someone chuckled pulling his headphones down, "It is rather bizarre."  
  
Alex blinked a few times then snorted at Cassidy's mussed up hair, "Not what this songs about, I don't think? FUCK! Maybe it is."  
  
"What is this by the way? I've seen you wear it before, even hear the music come from it," the younger man smoothed his hair down when it blew around in the cool air, "Void, I'm such a damn mess."  
  
"Eh, your pretty as you-" Alex stopped himself looking back out the valley, "Yeah," he coughed drawing a long pull from his smoke, "Its called headphones, and this, is a Walkman. My world shit."  
  
Cassidy sat down next to him, wrapping the coat around him more cocking his head, "Never heard of anything like that before. How does it work? I've never heard music like that either."  
  
"Here," he puts the headphones onto the mans hands, "You put them over your ears, then just listen."  
  
The cord jiggled against his leg, he click back on the Walkman and lets Mansun play again for him. But his heart and head just pounded like a thunderstorm, trying to calm his shakes down when he feels the tell tale sign of a panic attack coming on again. Fuck, he hasn't had one of those in a while. Now he missed them both more then anything as his blood just rushed through his ears, at the noise going through him, his hands shaking between his clamped knees.  
  
Tears pricked his eyes as vomit slowly rose up the back of his throat, his breathing getting more and more harsher trying to push everything back down.  
  
A tap on his shoulder made him fly off the broken wall, dropping everything on the ground backing away from it, shaking the entire time as everything just rips right through him.  
  
"Alex? Void, are you alright?" Cassidy sounded far away when he clutched his head trying to push everything down, "SOLAS! VARRIC! ALEX NEEDS YOU!"  
  
"No, it's, it's fine. Just, just keep listening. I," he walked backwards away from the man looking back at him with a worried expression, "I, should go talk to Dennet."  
  
That did not just happen when he ran down the slope vanishing into the early morning sun. That did NOT just happen at all, trying to calm everything down in him. Alex ran a hand through the stupid fringe on his head, tugging hard on it before dropping his hand to his side. He lent on the nearest tree slowly breathing in, he did not just let that happen to him again.

_Theres no fucking way that was happening again to me._  
  
He gave all that up after Anders, he gave EVERYTHING up when he told Cullen and Si to stop trying to set him up with anyone. So that did NOT just happen. Like fuck did it happen, when he wiped his eyes, he's going to fucking deny it even did.  
  
Because there is no way in hell he felt that way about, about-  
  
"Hair slipping through fingers like silken water. Warm breath mingling, tasting, finding, skin goosebumps. He won't hurt you, Alex."  
  
He shook his head, flapping his hand at the boy, "Don't. I'm not going through any of that again. Go back to camp, Cole."  
  
"Bu-but I want to help. I, I can't be me if I can't help!" Cole pulled on his sleeve, moving him away from the tree down to Dennet's ranch, "You should cut your hair."  
  
Alex sighed being pulled along begrudgingly by the boy beaming up at him. He knows he should get it cut, should do a lot of things right now, but he didn't when the Stable-hand spotted him, waving at him leaning on a pitch fork. Alex knows he's a god damn mess in every which way when he waves back. No-one seemed to care, so whats the fucking point of even trying.

* * *

  
_Moonbeam,_  
  
_So, fair warning. Menace had another one today. Not the angry 'Arrggghh' one. No, the other one._  
_I'm getting worried about him. He ran away from the Kid when it happened, Spooky chased after him to the ranch._  
_Moonbeam, we need to do something, he's gonna to end up loosing it again. Let your man know we're heading_  
_back in a few days with new mounts. Well, today when you get this._  
  
_I dunno what to do._  
  
_V._  
  
Sijon sighed heavily in the cabin, Cullen was snoring softly next to her with Kessie-ann splayed out on his chest. She knew it was coming when he saw Cassidy, they all did. What surprised her it was this long down the line. She hauled herself out of bed, pulling her hair up on her head looking over the other missive's. The Clan had written her again, for the fifth time since being here.  
  
As if she gave a Halla's crap about what they want any more.  
  
Her brother was more important then the bloody Clan! He WAS her Clan now, so were her husband and little girl. Varric, Fenris, Beth, Andy, all of them were her Clan, not the people who sent her away like garbage. She threw the letter in the fire, watching the paper curl as it burned.  
  
"Mmmm, you awake already?" Cullen yawned out behind her, "Come back to bed, love."  
  
Sijon smiled over her shoulder at the man grinning at her, "With Kessie there? OH, you mean more sleep. I'm fine," she giggled when his face wrinkled.  
  
"Makers breath, not what I mean at all. What was so important that you actually got up early for?"  
  
"Alex," she sighed looking back out the window, "He had another slip a few days back. Varric's getting worried about him, so am I."  
  
A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, a chin rested on her head reading the note, "You really think the pair of you prodding and poking at him will help anything? If he still needs time, give it to him. And stop, for the love of the Maker, setting him up with people."  
  
"He needs someone, Cullen! Two years-"  
  
He cut her off when he turned her around in his arms, "Yes, two years. Do you know how long I grieved for my parents when they died during the Blight? A lot longer then two years, all because I couldn't save them. Then there was Kinloch when I lost all my friends. Grief can last a long time, Si. Not just a few days then your done with it."  
  
She buried her head on his chest, hiccuping, "I know that. We just want him to be happy. I want him to be happy."  
  
"Then let him be happy on his own terms," Cullen cupped her face, brushing the tears rolling down her cheeks with his thumbs, "When he's ready, he will no doubt let everyone know."  
  
He lets her go as they all get ready for the day, Kessie running around grinning brushing her hair. Even though her husband were right, she still mulled over different plans she and Varric can do for Alex. Okay, the whole setting up dates was a really stupid idea three months after Anders death. But he couldn't mope around forever on his own. No, she'll think of something when they all get back. And by Mythal, it better be a damn good one.  
  
Kessie skipped up to the Chantry where Josephine was waiting for her. Cullen and herself had a lot more to organise before the new mounts arrived, more soldiers, everything. Creators, and she wanted to help with all this?  
  
Sijon smirked at one of the soldiers practicing nearby, now he was cute. Hmm, she tapped her finger on her chin looking at him, until Cullen heaved out a loud sigh pulling her away.

  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? I think Alex would-"  
  
"Because he's not into men, thats why," Cullen softly shook his head at her walking through the tents, "Love, just go check the paddocks."  
  
She rolled her eyes, then body back towards the Smithy. Dirt scuffed up in plumes when she kicked it, slumping her shoulders. There had to be-  
  
Sijon's eyes go huge at the group coming over The Penitents' Crossing. Daylen was chained to several others being dragged through everyone, the man was ranting like a mad man, spitting fire at everyone. Cullen pulled her back when the other man spotted them, a sneer going up his scarred face when he spat at their feet.  
  
"Should of know. Thats who you've been fucking, Cullen? Spawn that fucking half-breed bitch with him, whore."  
  
"Da-Daylen? Makers breath, what happened to you?" Cullen pulled her away even more.  
  
The man just barked a laugh at them, "Everything changed the day that pathetic slut made me go back. Everything changed when the Mages came running to me, for help, for a Leader. I gave them what they wanted. A Hero."  
  
"NO, everything changed the moment you resorted to Blood Magic, you selfish, arrogant bastard," Sijon spat back, "And thats my daughter your talking about. Thats my brother your belittling. Hope you rot in the Beyond. Hope you suffer for EVERYTHING you've done. You nearly killed me, Daylen," her whole body shook pointing at him, "You almost killed our child for your sick, perverted HALLA SHIT!"  
  
"Grow up little bitch, then come talk to me again," the man kissed out to her, "Cullen should of been MINE! ALEX SHOULD OF BEEN MINE! But what do I get? Nothing."  
  
"You gave up that right when you nearly killed him, Daylen. Get him out of here," Cullen wrinkled his nose up in disgust, waving his hand for the soldiers to haul the whole lot away, "Sweet Maker, I hope he hangs."  
  
Sijon fisted her hands by her sides, then turned around burying her face in Cullen's chest. She felt her eyelashes get damp in his collar, then flinched when someone screamed, 'ESCAPE!'  
  
Daylen came running at them full bore, his hands reaching out to get her as fire blazed up his arms. Cullen went to send out a Smite out of habit, cursed under his breath just pushing Sijon out the way when Daylen pounced on him. Hate, pure hate were etched in his face trying to strangle the life out of him, sending out mind blasts around him whenever someone came close. Cullen couldn't get the man off him with the amount of magic pinning him to the ground.  
  
Stars danced over his eyes, arms and legs kicking stuggling to breathe. Darkness slowly slipped over his vision, the last thing he wanted to see were Sijon and his child before he died, not the pure hate from Daylen killing him.  
  
Cullen's breath came in a rush into his lungs, the other man letting his grip go when he was ripped away from him. His vision swam back looking up at the pale blue sky above, thanking the Maker with each and every breath.  
  
"You son of a BITCH!"  
  
He blinked his eyes rapidly at Alex and Daylen fighting, trying to back away from the magic being cast, his brother-in-law striking out with his daggers into armour. Sparks flew everywhere when metal struck metal, only to be replaced with fists and feet. Cullen flinched as a pair of hands dragged him out the way, healing seeping into his body, around his neck, deep into his lungs.  
  
But he couldn't tear his eyes away at the men fighting right there, no magic, no daggers, but two men fighting each other until one gave in right in-front of everyone.  
  
"Worthless, pathetic, MAN SLUT!"  
  
"Keep talking, Champ. Your just pissing Menace off even more," Varric ran over to him, "Curly, shit, you alright?"  
  
He nodded mutely as he stood, rubbing his neck where Daylen's hands tried to choke him to death.  
  
"I'm gonna use your fucking skull to piss in, Dayglo!" Alex kicked the man onto the ground, then knelt with his full weight on his back grabbing a handful of hair, "Better yet, your gonna make a nice staff head."  
  
"NO!"  
  
Alex slammed his face into the ground over and over again, "Yes, it will. Wasted, everything was WASTED on you!"  
  
"IT WAS A GIFT! MY GIFT! NO, PLEASE, NO," Daylen screamed trying to buck Alex from his back, who reached for one of his dropped daggers, "Let me go, please. Alex, please, don't do this."  
  
"It would be a fitting end for one such as you. You were given a gift, you abused its charity for nothing. You abused those from the fade," Solas knelt down by Daylen's head, "You killed many in a lust for power. You were once the Hero of Ferelden. You ran, you lied, you killed, and now," the elf nodded his head at Alex, a high pitched gurgling scream made absolutely everyone back away in shock, "your skull will be given as a better use. Shame the gift will be gone with your death, but the essence will serve another's."  
  
Sijon spat on the ground next to Cullen, putting an arm around his waist, "Good. Hope who receives it doesn't abuse this very special gift."  
  
"What gift?" Cullen whispered still rubbing his neck in utter shock at the display.  
  
Alex stood the same time as Solas, the elf wrapped Daylen's head in his overcoat, "Necromancy."

* * *

  
Cullen dragged him out from inside the Chantry when he made his way in there, "Are you out of your mind! Necromancy? After the last time, Maker, why even entertain this idea, Alex."  
  
"Ugh, not that kind. No Blood Magic, no summoning the dead, nothing like that. Cassidy's going to need all the fucking help he can get," Alex shrugged walking down the steps past the gates, "He can't and won't fight, his spell casting is horrific at best. Me and Solas decided this type of Necromancy would be better."  
  
His brother-in-law folded his arms over his cuirass, the wind ruffled the fur around his collar like he was bristling, "Then have another mage teach him, not, not whatever you two cooked up! Sweet void, Alex, how can you think this is any better then taking the head off-"

  
  
"Cullen, listen. I went to Nevarra, right? Went to see the Necropolis, the wailing dead, all of it with- we saw all of it. We learned that theres more then one fucking way to," Alex snorted flapping his hand at Cassidy coming over with Sarge peaking out from his pocket, "skin a cat. This isn't abusing anything, this isn't your run of the mill Blood Magic."  
  
The younger man dipped his head, "Solas had already discussed it with me, Commander. I, well, I thought it was what we already saw. But it's not. Daylen Amell's skull will be my foci, a helper from the fade will aid me. Even if I don't fight, I will be able to channel healing and mana to those around me."  
  
Cullen just flung his hands up in the air, then pointed right at Alex's chest, "I hope you know what your doing. If he becomes-"  
  
"Fucking hell! He won't, alright! Solas is already off and running to find a spirit in mind for this while prepping the skull. Dayglo won't go to waste, and," he sighed lowering his head, "I had no choice in killing him. Fuck, he would of killed you and Si if Lyna didn't nearly kill me getting back here with Snoopy."  
  
His brother-in-law just walked away muttering under his breath that this whole thing was foolish and reckless. Alex just looked up at Cassidy and shrugged, "Least he didn't yell about the fucking mess on the tents."  
  
Cassidy snickered as a soft smirk went up his face, "I'm just surprised he didn't yell about you killing Daylen in-front of everyone. Void, I don't even want to think about if you didn't get here in time to stop him. And... I just did."  
  
"Yeah well, Roderick blew his fucking lid when he found out though. Why I was heading back up there," Alex thumbed behind him, "Lets just say: Me and you, are basically proving him right in everything. Like I give a fuck what the fucking Chantry think any more."  
  
The younger man tugged on his arm, pointing towards Harritt, "You said I should go talk to him? I, I haven't done that at all. He's a bit, grumpy."  
  
"Really? Harritt ain't so bad, he lost a lot during the Blight, like most people here who are from all over fucking Ferelden. Eh," Alex slowly walked away, "I need new armour then this pile of mabari shit anyhow."  
  
"I like the jacket. I think it suits you."  
  
Alex felt a tinge of a blush go over his face when he looked over his shoulder. The other man was looking away, chewing on his bottom lip with a worried expression on his face again. Alex turned around slowly, tilting his head, then felt a small smile creep up his face when Cassidy caught his eye again, "Oh? So, that means I'm gonna have to keep this? Smells you know."  
  
"No, I, I mean, um, maybe have a new one made?"  
  
"Uh huh," Alex felt the smile go higher up his face, "Is that an order or a request, Herald?"  
  
Cassidy's mouth parted as his cheeks too, tinged pink, "Um, er, a, um, request? Ju-just don't take all the black leather," he slammed a hand over his mouth going wide eyed at him.  
  
"Oh my fucking God, your- I knew it!" the smile now was replaced with a smirk, "I fucking knew it. I used to be the one in all black and leather, guess I can fucking exchange all that... for you," he winked walking away again.  
  
His heart hammered like a war drum in his chest, but this time, panic didn't take him slowly sauntering to Harritt. Cole's talk did him some good. He wondered where the cheeky bastard was right now anyway. Maybe, just maybe, he can work himself out of all this after all. He looked through his stupid fringe to Cassidy talking to Cullen right next to Cassandra, who was glowering at them both.  
  
Harritt gave him a weird look when he just snorted to himself. Maybe he should teach the man how to ride, seeing as he's rubbish at that too. Yeah, he can do this.

* * *

  
"So, Menace," Varric sighed looking up at him from his squat by the fire, "How you doing?"  
  
"Besides going to Val Royeaux in a few days? Fucking thrilled."  
  
Thrilled? Varric quirked an eyebrow, "Mind telling your dear ole uncle what your thrilled about?"  
  
"I'm getting new armour, getting a new hair cut when we get back here. Cullen's given birth to a dragon. Well, either that or he and Si were having some amazing sex last night," Alex grinned flopping down next to him, "Oh, an I heard from Izzy and Bren!"  
  
Varric sat heavily on the ground, "Your sodding kidding me. Where is bloody Rivaini and Cheeky?"  
  
"Docked in Llomerryn right now, tasting what life has to fucking offer."  
  
"Maferaths hairy nutsack, glad their alright. They coming down here?" he pulled his flask from his back pocket offering it to his friend, which he took gladly, "I dunno what you did, but you look better then you did the other day. What happened?"  
  
Alex took a long hard swig, shaking his head, "No, their not coming here. But they are gonna pay Snowy and Seb a visit though, something about dropping off a load? Ugh, hope it ain't dirty shit again."  
  
He noticed the man didn't answer his question when he drank more Brandy. Time for a different tactic, "Some pretty good looking guys here, Menace. Any... of them... you know, catch your eye?"  
  
"Maybe," Varric immediately perked up, "Maybe not. Snoopy, Si asked me the same thing, I know what both of ya are doing, so don't," the cheeky fucker just winked at him, grinning.  
  
"So there IS someone! I knew it," Varric snapped his fingers, "Come on, Menace, gimme details!"  
  
Alex tapped his nose handing the flask back, "There ain't anyone. But a Bard never reveals the hand he's been played," he winked again walking away.  
  
Maker bloody dammit, he has no idea whether his friend was just shitting him, or doing his usual Wicked Grace bullshit. Ugh, his shoulders slumped brushing the dirt from his backside, maybe he should just go ask Spooky whats going on. If the bloody spirit was where he's supposed to be that was.  
  
"I'm not," Varric squeaked when the boy smiled at him from the top step, "I'm here, Varric."  
  
"Dammit Spooky. So, tell me. Whats going on with Menace?"  
  
Cole went silent for a while, opening his mouth every now and again as to say something. He just smiled and shrugged, "New armour."  
  
"Not. What I mean. Ugh, no I mean, who's got his smalls in a twist?"  
  
"His smalls aren't twisted Varric. He's not wearing any once more. I helped," Cole grinned then frowned, "No, I mean I helped with the hurt, not with the smalls. No, thats wrong too."  
  
Varric just snorted patting the boy on his shoulder, "You know, if I didn't know you, I woulda called you weird. But I do, and your, well, your still kinda weird, in a sweet adorable spirit kid kinda way weird. Come on Spooky, uncle Varric's got some stories to tell. Wanna listen?"  
  
"Is it the one with the rabbit? I like that part."  
  
"Rabb- yeah sure, it may or may not have a rabbit in it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyones at all interested in the mods I've been using for any of this, yell, scream and shout at me for the list. 99% are from the awesome modders over at Nexus :)  
> Just wish my PC were a hundred times better, then I could use bloody Shaders.


	7. Zombie nation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Val Royeaux's on the horizon. Solas and Alex talk a little more. Cassidy makes something known. Shit goes to hell and back in the Capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kernkraft 400 - Zombie nation - https://youtu.be/CjnFhCaXfvQ

Solas leaned on Alex as he chuckled, "It was quite a sight to see. Spires as tall as trees, clouds gently brushing them. Spirits and twisted of all kind mingled around everyone. But it was the fact the woman rode through them all naked that gave them all pause."  
  
"Fucking hell, please tell me the bloody mount wasn't a golden horse."  
  
The elf smirked nodding his head, Alex burst out laughing in the tavern, "Its mane swept the ground as much as its tail, the colour not akin to spun gold. She really was a sight to behold though. Even in dreams, the imagery was real enough."  
  
Varric sat in awe listening as much as everyone else was around the table to the elf's story, his writing pen in one hand trying to get everything down on bits of torn paper. Cassandra's eyes were wide with her hands fisted under her chin, "Did he sweep her off her feet?"  
  
"Indeed he did. They both were wed in the nude right there and then. All were a witness to the whole endeavor, under the spires that skimmed the roof of the world."  
  
The Seeker heaved out a loud sigh with a small smile etched on her lips, her eyes closing slightly, no doubt thinking about how romantic it all was. Tea was placed in-front of them all, Varric immediately picked his up drinking it while himself and Solas wrinkled up their noses.  
  
"I may of been British where I bloody came from. But I HATE tea," Alex pushed the cup away from him, "Dunno how anyone can drink that shit. Hey waitress, any Rivaini coffee? Antivan rich roast? No, ugh, mead? Good, gimme a jug of that, thanks."  
  
Solas pushed his own away, "I have never acquired the taste myself either. I only drink it to clear my mind," the elf cocked his head at him, "British though? Never heard of that before."  
  
"Eh, was where I was born. Was a small nation that nearly took over the world at one point, besides the whole Roman Empire doing that before them. Still makes me think my people," Alex grinned as two tankards and the mead jug were put on the table, "came here ruining everything."  
  
The elf hummed under his breath pouring out two generous amounts of the fermented honey alcohol for them, "They did just appear one day from no-where. No-one truly knows where humans actually came from. But you maybe right on your assumptions."  
  
"The Maker created humans," Cassandra glared at them from the other side of the table, "He gave us life, created the veil, gave us his teachings. Knight," she leaned forward taping the table, "I know you came from else where, I know you do not believe in what we do. But, if it is true all of it, it wou-"  
  
"-it would go against everything you and the rest of your Chantry lot know? I know that. I heard you tell Snoopy the same fucking thing, Seeker. Look, we don't know what happened, I and Dayglo may of been all wrong about everything," he shrugged, "And I ain't no fucking thousands of year old elven arsehole. Marethari referred to me and him as Falon'Din and Dirthamen once, Solas."  
  
Solas rolled his eyes, going back to leaning on him again, "She was very wrong there. The Twins died a long time ago, they were never reborn again. Which is quite a shame really. But you are most certainly not one of the twins, Da'len. But still, you are very much different then any other human around us. No offence Cassandra."  
  
She just flapped her hand at him, peaking over Varric's shoulder while he still wrote whatever it was he was writing now.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to say elven arsehole," Alex blushed now sipping his mead, "I mean that the whole elven Pantheon the Dalish know is so very fucking wrong. Si said it was a whole load of bullshit, because theres no way Fen'Harel can be that big of an arsehole. He had to have a reason for what he did."  
  
Solas shifted uncomfortably next to him, which just made Alex quirk an eyebrow when the elf looked away, "Everyone has a reason to do what they may. Even you," he looked back at him now, "You did what you thought were right every time. Have you noticed there is no Fen'Harel Vallaslin? No Dalish celebrate who or what he was? They just put a statue outside their camps to ward him away."  
  
"If there was one, Solas, I would bloody wear it proudly, fuck what the Dalish think. But still, I did fucking say once to a very sweet city elf, 'All it takes is one person to make a difference. All it takes is one person to stand tall, to make a difference.' Guess I did that, guess Fen'Harel did that too," Alex sighed sitting back in his seat flicking the fringe from his face, "Hmm, don't suppose you know the real stories behind all the true Elvhenan, Solas? I've been curious for years now at the real stories."  
  
He noticed the elf shift again, but not uncomfortably when he smiled softly at him, "You truly are more different, Da'len. Truer words have never been spoken in a long time. When we traverse the fade together, I will teach you more about who they all were. Perhaps my old friend may join us in the discussion."  
  
Alex grinned wide, "That wouldn't be Wisdom, would it? Cassidy did say if I ever go back there, to go find her, ask her about how she knows how old they all are. Everything."  
  
"It would be indeed her. He taught you a lot, didn't he. I'm just- I'm still- Da'len, words still can't fully describe how sorry I am we still cannot find an echo," Solas touched his arm, "for the two of them. They maybe well out of our reach. But Wisdom, my friend, she maybe able to help more with that if there is anything. I'm worried that they have all been affected by the Breach though."  
  
"I gotta ask, did you hear screams when it was formed? I did when I saw things fall from it, ripped right through me and my animal companions too."  
  
"You heard them?" Solas' eyes go huge, he gulped down the rest of his drink before pouring out another for himself, "I thought I was the only one! I was horrified when it awoke me from my slumber. I was shaken awake from the fade by it all. Oh, my friends..."  
  
Alex sighed stilling the elf's shaking hands, "I know. Have many of them gone missing? Cole couldn't tell me seeing as he's been here a lot longer then-" he screwed his up shut, shaking away the thought, "There had to of been a better way then tear a whole in the sky. I wanna know who did all this, Solas. Who did this to Cassidy too. Speaking of which," he quirked around the table, "Where is our illustrious Herald?"  
  
Varric flapped his hand up the stairs to the rented bedrooms. Cassandra just shrugged going back to peaking. Solas heaved a soft sigh, thumbing the jaw bone around his neck, "Many have gone missing, Da'len. I suppose some have been drawn through the tears, or twisted beyond compare now. Cole is just a young spirit, I believe he is around the same age as the boy he became. Though, you already knew that," Alex nodded, "How did you two meet, by the way?"  
  
"Adamant Fortress, Solas, a few years ago. I helped former Senior Enchanter Wynne, her son, and three others when shit hit the fan. Unfortunately, Leliana sent me away before I could help them all more," Alex shrugged, "Wynne's dead now, she gave up Faith apparently to save Evangeline. Lee helped get Mages out from the White Spire with Cole's help. But still, this will be the first time I've gone to Val Royeaux though. Lee kept me away incase they locked me up."  
  
Solas nodded his head slowly, still thumbing the jaw bone, "I do not think they would do that in any case, Da'len. Though I am looking forward to the small cakes they have. Been a very long time since I have been to Val Royeaux, no doubt it has changed much. We should get some rest for the journey ahead," he patted his arm leaving his seat, nodding his head at the other two before retiring to his room.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes at Varric smirking when Cassandra moved his hand out the way to read what he wrote, oh yeah, those two are sooo gonna end up together when he left them to it. He ought to go make sure Herald Trevelyan hasn't fallen down a well, or some weird shit. Alex softly snorted to himself slowly walking up the stairs, he still needs to give the finished staff to the man, just so he had something other then some shepherds crook. Though, with what he put on the end-  
  
He shook his head brushing all that out the window too.  
  
Alex quirked his eyebrow at Cassidy's partially open door, green light flickered out from it, then stopped. Now what was he doing?  
  
"Hey," he knocked on the door jamb, "You busy?"  
  
A clatter and the muttering of 'Void!' made him giggle under his breath when the door was flung open wide, then squeaked being dragged into the room. The door slammed shut behind him, Cassidy flailing his hands about himself with very disheveled hair.  
  
"I, can come back later," Alex thumbed behind himself, "if your busy with, er... what are you doing anyhow?"  
  
"Trying to figure this out," Cassidy shoved his hand out into his face, memories went through him of another doing the same thing, "I've been prodding, poking, sending what magic I have into it."  
  
"Kay? Its just a fade piece lodged in there. So... you've been up here the entire time playing with yourself?"  
  
The look on the other mans face just sent him into a laughing fit, "Thats, no- I mean- What? NO!"  
  
"I can have my brother-in-law teach you a really neat electricity trick if you want," he couldn't stop himself when the mans eyes go wider, blushing bright red, covering his face up with his hands, "Its really quite nice, be better then trying to burn your balls off. Am I right?"  
  
"Please, stop. Void, thats not what I mean at all."  
  
"Kay, kay, I'll stop. For now," Alex smirked leaning back against the wall, "Seriously though, you missed dinner to look at what Solas has already told you what it was?"  
  
Cassidy flopped his hands by his side, shrugging with his whole body before he walked over to his bed, sitting on the edge, "I just wanted to learn more about it. Other then the fact, I remember nothing of what happened at the Temple. Even the voices echoing out the fade jogged nothing. Void, this is a mess."  
  
"Always is, always will be. Want me to go get you something to eat?" he pointed at the door, "Or do you still wanna play with your fucking self all night?"  
  
"Alex," the younger man whined looking up at him, "I don't know what do to. With anything. I'm still far too out of sorts, I'm trying, but I just don't know what do to."  
  
He sighed pushing away from the wall, put his hand out doing a grabby motion, "Come on, I gotta give you the staff anyway. Can order food up into my room if you want. If not, fine by me. Can go back to moping."  
  
Cassidy lowered his head taking his hand, getting guided out of his room to Alex's. His hand was let go when the man spots a waitress, calling her over to order food and more alcohol to be brought up and quick. Cassidy was then pushed into the mans room, which smelt like smoke when it hit his nose. His head was still lowered shuffling on his feet by the window to look out of, looking over Orlais. Looking to were Val Royeaux might be in the distance.  
  
"Cass, it'll be fine. I hope."  
  
He just shrugged leaning on the window frame still looking out from it, "Maybe. I just don't want to be locked up again, I really don't."  
  
A metal clatter behind him made him jump a little, "They won't. Cassandra would have a few choice words if they do. So would I for another. They can't do shit to you, but they may do shit to me, considering I did a whole fuck tonne to piss them the hell off."  
  
"I don't think they would do that to you. I wouldn't be happy myself if they just whisked you away from me," Cassidy clamped his eyes shut, biting his bottom lip to what he just said. Void, he was going to end up digging a hole he couldn't get out off if he didn't just shut up.  
  
"Are we... are we flirting here?" he looked over his shoulder at Alex waving a hand between them looking very puzzled, "Feels like we're flirting."  
  
"Maybe? I, I don't exactly know," Cassidy just shrugged pushing away from the window frame, "I, I have only flirted with, um, well, girls."  
  
Alex raised both eyebrows at him, "I'm your first male flirt? I think I should be flattered. Either that or I'm well out of practice for anything," he snorted shaking his head, "Anyway go eat, I gotta fish out the staff from my closet."  
  
He went back to chewing on his lip again, eyeing the food on the tray with a huge jug sitting in the middle. He looked over at Alex rummaging around in the closest, his new armour hung up on several pegs.  
  
But his eyes just skimmed down when the older man bent over a little, swallowing softly tracing the outline of the slender hips, the shape of his backside when he bent over more. Cassidy chewed on his bottom lip even harder, tracing his eyes up to Alex's back, up his neck, over his shoulders. Everything.  
  
He shifted in place, feeling himself get a little stiff in the pants, cursing himself he didn't grab the coat on the way out. He just untucked his shirt, trying to cover the obvious bulge he had right there when Alex pulled something out the closet. Cassidy's eyes go wide looking at the staff held in the mans hands, over the skull at the top, the one piece wood caging it, down to the dragon head at its base.  
  
"So yeah, Solas did good cleansing the corruption from Daylen's head," Alex grinned holding it out in-front of him, "The dragon's head was, well, was Anders from his old staff. He had that when he came to Kirkwall years before I was there. I, I took it as a reminder. Now it's yours."  
  
Cassidy's heart pounded hard in chest tentatively taking the staff from the man, looking over everything more. The hum that went through him made his face split into a grin, "I, I can feel it! Is, is that-"  
  
"That'll be the foci, Cass. Solas is still trying to friend to help you."  
  
"Thank you. Its beautiful," he gripped it hard, his fingers gently running over the wood up the cage, skimming them over the polished white skull there, "You, you didn't need to put something on it to bring memories, Alex."  
  
The man smiled softly at him which just made everything tighten again, made his cheeks heat once more, "Its fine. Freedom's Call broke, the only thing salvageable was that. So, well, by rights its now yours. Just, look after it."  
  
"I, I don't know what to say, other then thank you again. It'll match my new armour," he grinned putting the staff to one side, running his fingers over it more before looking back at Alex, "Other then having my books back from Varric," Cassidy slowly walked over, "This is one of the best things I have ever received."  
  
Alex quirked his eyebrow again, "Really? I can name a hundred and fucking one different things that- never mind. Glad you like it, don't forget to say thanks to Solas."  
  
Cassidy nodded, swallowing softly again fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, "I will. Alex, I, I," how can he say it without it sounding, odd? He sucked in a breath, "Can I stay here for the night? I, I don't feel like staying on my own."  
  
"I guess so, beds big enough I think. Ain't you gonna eat? Eh, guess it is- Fuck, Cass, are we flirting again?"  
  
"I, I think so," his cheeks heated up even more gripping the hem of his shirt harder, "Alex, I, I think I do like you, a lot. I've never, not with, never with a man before. Only girls," yes, this wasn't awkward at all when he looked away, "Maybe, I should go."  
  
His arm was taken, stopping him from reaching for the staff, Alex searched his eyes tilting his head looking into them, "You really sure you want to cross that line with me? Theres gotta be a girl out there who's-"  
  
"No, theres not. You, you were the most beautiful man I have ever seen the first time I saw you," his throat felt raw when he swallowed loudly, "I honestly have never, I mean never felt this way for a man at all. I, I know what you once were, I don't care. Even if you were pretty mean to me."  
  
Alex swallowed just as much as he did letting his arm go, "You freaked me out, I had no idea who, or what you were. Two months and a bit down the line, I know who you are now. Your not a fighter, your not him, and your not like any mage I've really known. Well, except for Bethy, but her magic was piss poor. Moot point," Alex shook his head, "Look, Cass, I'm still a little, well, scared, kay. Everything, everyone I have ever been close with have either died, or tried to kill me in some way."  
  
"I, I could never do that," he whispered edging ever closer, "Its not who I am. Whe-when I said I didn't know what to do, I wasn't just talking about being some Herald. I meant about my feelings for you."  
  
"You really wouldn't know what lines you'd be crossing with me at all. I did say not to make me like you, and your doing just that. Maybe, maybe you should go sleep in your own room to think about what your even asking," Alex stepped back a few paces, "Don't do shit blindly, kay. It'll be the worst fucking mistake you can ever do."  
  
The door to his room slammed shut, the staff and Cassidy both were gone when he looked out through the window. He's an idiot. A royally big, fucking, dumb, moronic idiot. And he sodding knew it flopping face first on the bed.

Shit.

* * *

  
If the air could be cut with a butter-knife these past few days, it would with the amount of tension going through a few people piling out the carriage. It was thick and clawing as Cassidy smoothed his long black leather coat down, flexing his fingers behind the elbow long gauntlets he now wore. Alex rolled his shoulders under his new jacket, redoing the buckles up on his doublet side-eyeing Varric in his new armour too, then snorted nudging the dwarf grinning up at him.

  
  
Everyone looked mostly presentable going over the marble bridge to the Capital city. But the tension was still there when Alex did a three-sixty about himself, shaking his head when Cassidy did the same thing in awe. Cassandra heaved out a loud sigh, flapping her hand as several Orleasian nobles backed away from the Herald, gasping, fanning themselves in shock.  
  
"Guess they know who we are," Varric mumbled under his breath, "Menace, didja really need that many knives?"  
  
Cassandra scoffed, "Someone needs to protect the Herald, Varric. And your powers of observation are truly astounding. How you ever made it this far, I'll never know."  
  
"Could be worse."  
  
"Could what be worse, Knight?" Cassandra quirked both her eyebrow and head at Alex.  
  
"I could of brought my entire collection of knives with me. Should see the amount I have stashed all over Haven," the man grinned, winking at her.  
  
She just shook her head, scoffing waving her hand at the Inquisition scout running over to them. Cassidy blinked a few times at Alex, was about to ask if he was serious, but instead got pulled into the scout talking, looking behind herself flapping both hands up at Cassandra.  
  
"Theres wasn't anything we could do when they just stormed through, Lady Cassandra. The Lord Seeker is with them too."  
  
He frowned, "Who came through?"  
  
The scout bowed in his direction, "My Lord Herald, forgive me. But a great deal of Templars are here. The people of Val Royeaux seem to think they are here to protect them... from the Inquisition. Or, should I say... you."  
  
"Shit! Seeker, what the fucking hell? We need to get him and Solas out of here," Alex wrinkled his entire face up in disgust, "If their here from him, then they'll-"  
  
Cassandra stopped him, "I know. Go send a raven to Cullen and Leliana, inform them both: If we are delayed for any reason, even by an hour. Send reinforcements immediately."  
  
Alex dipped his head, tugging on the scouts arm to move ahead of them all. This is NOT what anyone wanted to hear right now. If the Templars were here for him, then Solas would be in grave danger too. Cassidy clamped his eyes shut trailing behind everyone, hiding the shakes rip right through him. He didn't see where Alex went to, he didn't even open his eyes until he heard someone talking over the top of people around a pavilion.  
  
Statues of golden lions were around the thing, banners of red and purple strung up around everything above him when he looked up. But the shouting got louder and louder walking around the pretty blue painted thing. Solas shook his head, pulling Varric away from them at the Chantry Mother standing on a dais, glaring right at Cassidy.  
  
A single Templar stood with others up there, his green eyes go a little wide when he spots him, then steps back a few paces as the Mother started to shout, pointing right at him.  
  
His mind started to blank as accusations were thrown his way, his shakes getting worse and worse the more she shouts, belittles the fact he was a mage. A filthy mage, the Maker would never send to aid them in their hour of need. Tears pricked his eyes hearing her words, sounded just like his fathers words being tossed at him before he-  
  
"Trevelyan?"  
  
Cassandra's voice made him jump a little, swallowing loudly looking at her, "I'm not a filthy mage," he muttered slowly looking up at the Mother glowering at him, "The Maker didn't send me, neither did Andraste. I, I was a victim as much as anyone else were at the Temple."  
  
"But yet you stand, where our Most Holy fell. You are no 'Victim.' You are a murderer, a foul and corrupt mage who killed everyone!"  
  
"Careful, Revered Mother. You accuse the one person who can stop the Breach," Cassandra spat out, "We came to appease you, we require aid. But I clearly see you are delusional."  
  
The Mother barked a laugh, waving her hand over to her left. The sound of heavy footfalls sent everyones backs on edge as a troupe of Templars pushed past everyone.  
  
"We do not need your so called Inquisition. Not when the Templars have returned to the Chantry. They will defend us as is the-" her words were struck down as much as she was, her body slowly sliding from the dais with others trying to get at her. They were all pushed aside, for the Templars to be there instead.  
  
Alex came running up in the shadows, tapping Solas on the shoulder whispering, "We have a problem, besides those bunch of sick fucks."  
  
"I know, I feel it too. I cannot sense who it is though."  
  
"Why I'm in the shadows. If I can get close enough, I can see who it is and expose which one has the fucking demon," the elf nodded dipping his head low when Alex slunk between the crowd of people. The demon, for thats exactly what it was, made even Solas cringe.  
  
"-The only respect here, is mine. We failed NO-ONE when the Templars-"  
  
Alex bit his tongue hard at the mans ranting, his skin crawled more and more brushing up against each Templar standing there. None of them. He frowned looking at the Lord Seeker, walking slowly up to him from behind. The flaying getting closer and closer, until the man turned around grabbing his neck.  
  
"Think you can get passed me, trickster? I can see you," Lucuis squeezed his neck hard forcing him out the shadows, everyone gasped out backing off a few steps when Alex's face was brought close to the smirking mans face, "I can feel you too, trickster. Can you feel me?"  
  
Alex's eyes go wide feeling the demon rip through him, trying to force its way inside somehow, "Yo-you'll never take me," he wheezed out trying to get around his back for a throwing knife, "Sho-show yourse-yourself, demon!"  
  
"I am no meer demon, trickster. I am Envy," Lucuis spat in his face while he sneered, "I can be you, taste you, and none would know the difference. How can you see me though? I want to know when I become you so it'll never happen again."  
  
Alex ripped the knife from his back, plunging it right into the Lord Seekers neck releasing his hold on him. The demon flickered over the mans image, ripping the small knife away while melting it in his hands before he roared out in anger.  
  
"BETRAYAL! KILL HIM!"  
  
Some of the Templars did nothing of the sort rounding on Lucuis instead. Smites and Cleanses were sent out right at him, the Envy demon roaring even more in anger, showing its true self in-front of absolutely everyone standing there. Orleasian nobles ran away screaming, Cassandra readied her weapons in shock. The sweet sing song of Bianca getting ready urged Alex to move out the way when they fought the thing right there and then.  
  
Alex grabbed Cassidy when he ran, pulling the younger man away from it all through the streets as the Envy went on a rampage behind them. Fuck, reminded him too much of Carver and Vengeance doing the same fucking thing. Everyone around them scattered, slammed doors and shutters closed, soft sounds of people crying pissed Alex off something rotten rounding a corner.  
  
"Alex, ho-how did you know?" Cassidy panted out when they finally stopped running, he leaned up against some blue painted wall, "I, I couldn't feel it at all!"  
  
"When I went to send Leliana the fucking update," Alex spat shaking his head, "Me and the scout walked right past them, I gripped her fucking arm hard. I told her to go on ahead when I followed the whole lot. Cass, theres something else wrong with them, besides the fucking Envy trying to get inside me. That shit hid himself pretty fucking well."  
  
His face fell onto the ground looking back down the street, "More! How much more? Void, I can't take this I really can't."  
  
"Fuck if I know, but it feels... familiar somehow. Shit, shit, shit," the older man paced back and forth, his fists clenched then unclenched, "If the entire fucking Orders been corrupted somehow, Cullen and the rest of them back in Haven need to know. The Templars are NO longer an option, not like they would of been my first fucking choice."  
  
Cassidy slowly slid down the wall, the staff clattered on the ground when he sat fully on it with his face buried behind his hands, "I, I, I can't do this any more. I really can't, Alex. I'm trying so hard, but," he sniffed, "how much more can everything throw at me? Tell me, please!"  
  
"As much as you can take. Trust me on that, Cass," he gently removed the younger mans hands away from his tear soaked face, kneeling down in-front of him, gripping them tight, "I went through a shit tonne, and I'm still learning after all this time. I can't give you a guarantee that everythings going to be fucking sunshine and butterflies, I really can't. And I'm sorry for what I said the other night, because I'm one hell on an idiot.  
  
But," Alex smiled softly at the red rimmed eyes and quivering lip, "I will be your Banal'ras. Where ever you go, I go regardless. No matter what happens, I will be right there by your side."  
  
Several screams made the pair of them flinch, looking back down the street seeing glints in the sun of a few Templars coming their way. Cassidy's lip quivered again, clutching Alex's hands tight in his, "Where you go, I go too. But, whats-"  
  
"It means Shadow in elven, Cass. I should of realised sooner at what she wrote. I really am a fucking idiot... What do you lot want?" Alex sneered his lip at the three Templars staring at them.  
  
"Is the Herald alright, Serah? Maker, the demon," the one who was on the dais shook with his hand on his blade, "The Lord Seeker was a demon? I beg your pardon, I am Ser Delrin Barris, my companions are Ser Orran Fort and his older brother David. We, we came to protect the two of you."  
  
Cassidy just nodded his head mutely still gripping Alex's hands, the older man dipped his head sharply at the three of them, "I can protect him by myself. Where's the rest of your, Order, Serah's?"  
  
"Gone, Ser. They turned on most of us when the Envy demon revealed its true nature. Was nothing we could do against that many," this Templar David looked back down the street, "I think your friends are dealing with the demon, Ser."  
  
"Shit. Don't think theres going to be anything any of us can do if the whole fucking Orders gone insane, Serah's. Cass, tell me what you want done with them, and I'll do it. It's your call right now, not mine."  
  
Cassidy shook in his grasp, he looked down at the staff laying on the ground beside him, the polished skull's gaze were upon the Templars almost judging them as much as his mind was.  
  
"I, I want to know one thing. How, how do you three feel about mages? I, I want the truth, please."  
  
Delrin dipped his head, "I came from a noble family, Herald. We have magic in our bloodline. I have cousins who are still out there somewhere, who are mages. I, want them safe as any good Templar should."  
  
"Our sisters a mage. We don't know where she is even now, Ser. We didn't join to be jailers, we joined to keep mages and her safe. We both did."  
  
"We thought we'd be with our sister in Markham, but she's fucking gone," Orran wiped his eyes, "We just want her back with us, no matter what fucking state she's in."  
  
Alex lowered his head letting Cassidy's hands go, "How old is she?"  
  
"Silvia would of turned fourteen last Kingsway, Ser. She's the only family we have left now."  
  
Cassidy swallowed looking back at Alex, the older man was sat heavily on the ground now. He looked up at the three Templars, looking over each one deciding, "Woul-would you accept positions in the Inquisition, under Commander Cullen Rutherford and his mage wife, Sijon Lavellan Rutherford? We, we could use your help, an-and to help find what family there is out there for you all."  
  
"I would join gladly, Herald. You shall have my sword," Delrin bowed, putting his hand on his chest. The other two did the same thing as Varric came running over to them both, a worried expression etched on his face at the three Templars bowing in respect.  
  
"Menace, Kid, you alright? Maferaths nutsack, the demon ran off. Seeker and Chuckles are tryin' to find where it went."  
  
Alex smiled up at his friend when a hand landed on his head, then a pair of arms around his shoulders when the dwarf just collapsed into his lap, "We're fine, Snoopy. Delrin, Orran and David's just joined the Inquisition. You alright though? Look like you could use a fucking drink, mate."  
  
"Make that fifty. Sodding, fucking, demons, ruining my day out."

* * *

  
Cassandra slammed everything down on the table, the metallic sound echoed throughout the small restaurant where the three of them sat. Solas heaved out a loud sigh, slumping next to Alex resting on his arm as usual.  
  
"We have no idea where it went, Da'len. I could no longer track its presence. Cassandra had the remaining three Templars aid the Mothers, who were exceptionally thankful to you in revealing the Lord Seekers true identity."  
  
"Sweet Maker, it could of been much worse if it were not for you, Knight. And Herald, he did the right thing in taking you away from all that," Cassandra slumped into her chair too, "And thank you for recruiting those three. I think we can help them, as much as they can help us, Herald."  
  
Alex ran both his hands down his face leaning back on Solas, "So, we have a fucking Envy running around out there. Mad Templars going against their own. Can we please, please, pray to everything out there, the rest of the mages ain't into anything like that at all."  
  
Everyone around the table agreed solemnly as food was brought over for them all. No-one seemed hungry at all, sitting there picking at the Orleasian fair that looked really good. They all sat there in silence, drinking instead. Cassidy lent on Alex as much as Solas was. Varric and Cassandra read through yet another manuscript the dwarf hand managed to do so far. But no-one felt like talking, slowly getting drunk the longer they sat there.  
  
The food long taken away, several tankards dotted around the table in various stages of being drunk. Varric slipped off the chair first, giggling the whole time as Cassandra tried to haul him off the floor and up to his room. Alex snorted at the pair of them trying to go up the stairs, then mutters, "Their soooo gonna end up in bed. Whether for sex, or because she can't be bothered to go to her own fucking room."  
  
"Da'len! I'm sure the Seeker can find her own room. Varric will be the one in her bed."  
  
Both of them laugh at the same time, Cassidy blearily blinked his eyes open squinting at them, "Who's going where? Void, whys there four of you?"  
  
"Seems our illustrious Herald can't handle his alcohol," Alex snorted when Solas nudged him shaking his head, "Kay, kay, I'll drag him to bed. Did I honestly just say that?"  
  
The elf just smirked leaving him with a very drunk Cassidy still blinking at him, his amethyst eyes trying to focus on his face, then gave up face planting right in his lap.  
  
"Oh, come on. Seriously? Fine, come on you," Alex grunted shifting the drunk man upright, "Past bed time."  
  
"I'm not a child."  
  
"Uh huh, just exceptionally drunk trying to lay in my fucking lap. Trust me, last time I got really drunk," he hefted the taller man up from his chair, sliding his arm around his waist guiding him through the lower hallway, "I made a pass at Cullen. Then found my way home an hour after, which should of taken ten minutes."  
  
Cassidy giggled into his hair, "You kissed Cullen. He gets a kiss and I don't? I'm sad now."  
  
"Ugh, I drank five bottles of rum. I was surprised I knew which way was up. Which I almost didn't. And I ain't kissing you while your steaming drunk, Cass."  
  
"Why not?" the man pouted laying into him more, Alex trying to grab the handle to his room at the same time trying to keep the bigger man upright, "Thats not my room. Is it?"  
  
Alex snorted looking at the door number, "Shit. It ain't. Um, er," he looked down the hallway spotting his room number, "Fuck it, your coming in there, cos I don't remember where you are."  
  
They stumbled to his room, fumbling with the knob again then remembers he needed his key. Which was in his right pocket, the same pocket that was pressed up against the man trying to lean on him again, grinning.  
  
"You need this," he grinned even more holding his key in his hand slurring, "I can, I can be sneaky too."  
  
"Gimme that. You, stand right there," Alex snatched the key out of his hand, opening the door snickering under his breath when they both fall into the room in a heap on the floor. He booted the door shut, the key still left on the outside as the pair of them roll on the floor laughing.  
  
The sound of creaking and squeaking from the next room made them both stop to listen. Quiet sounds of two people in the heat of passion were right next door, Alex put a hand over his mouth trying not to laugh out loud, Cassidy buried his face in his chest hiding his own giggles at the sounds. It got worse the longer they laid on the floor, the bed banging against the wall just made them laugh hard into the room looking at each other.  
  
Cassidy stopped before Alex did, searching the pale cat like eyes searching his own. He smiled softly, pressing a light kiss against the older mans cheek giggling into it, "My Shadow."  
  
"Ohhhh, I'm yours now? Order or request, oh Lord Herald."  
  
"Both," he giggled more, "I'm ordering you to bed, and I'm ordering myself as well. But legs won't work."  
  
"They kinda do that when your shit faced, Cass. Kinda comfy on the floor," Alex shifted pulling the younger mans head down on his shirt covered chest, "Stay... right there. Too comfy to move, anyhow."  
  
Solas was the one to find them in the morning, with arms and legs tangled up in each others still fully clothed. He chuckled under his breath sending out healing into the both of them, putting the key on the table, looking over his shoulder nodding his head before he shut the door behind him.  
  
When the time were right, he would ask Alex. But not before.


	8. Inner City Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting with a Red Jenny. Two Enchanters. And a small moment of feelings between both men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning - two mentions of homophobic language in story.

"The hell?"  
  
Alex looked down at the arrow right by his booted foot, a scrappy looking piece of paper was attached around its shaft. He squinted up, looking over rooftops to who could of sent it. There wasn't anyone there when he pealed the note off, reading it over. Little doodles were all over the paper, the sprawling writing made him shake his head at it.  
  
_Oi, glowy hand and sneaky._  
  
_Peeps be saying your both special. I wanna help, you help me, I help you, help me._  
_Theres a nasty bad man here in Val Royeaux. He wants to hurt glowy hand. So sneaky, follow the bits of_  
_red 'round here, find where he is. Maybe get there before I pop him one. Yea._  
  
_Chop, chop. I ain't got all day._  
  
_Friends of Red Jenny._  
  
"Red Jenny? Huh," he screwed up the piece of paper, shoving it into his pocket. Cassidy was slowly trailing after him with yet another piece of paper in his hand, his whole face looked like thunder shoving that into his face.  
  
"I have been invited to some fancy party, by one Vivienne de Fer. First Enchanter," the younger man slumped his shoulders fidgeting with his coat clasps, "Can you come?"  
  
"Er, I did say where you go I go. Sounds like a bucket load of fun. Gotta do something else first," Alex pushed the finely crafted paper in Cassidy's pocket, then pointed over at Varric, "Your not coming for this though. If I ain't back in an hour, panic. I fucking mean it."  
  
The younger mans eyes go wide when he went to walk away, "No! I'm coming too. You promised-"  
  
"Not this time, trust me. Go with Varric, talk to Solas, go do something around the bazaar. I'll be back in an hour."  
  
He slipped into the shadows before Cassidy could retort, ignoring the gnawing feeling in his gut that came over him. First: He didn't want to leave Cass alone, which just made the gnawing feeling come on again. Second: He needed to find out what the fuck the message was all about. And third, Alex sighed picking up the first bit of red paper looking over the instructions to the next one, he needed to check the ravens, alone.  
  
Apparently, several messages were left for him. Alex had no idea what about, not like Lee would send him out on something again. Maybe Si? Ugh, he'll find out when he's sorted this fucking bullshit mess. The final bit of red in his hand guided him to some back ally. Oh, great, doesn't smell like a trap. Oh no, not at all.  
  
Alex followed the scribbled directions, darting through people going about their day. The smell of sex hit his nose, slowing his run down to peak in through the window. He rolled his eyes at the whore house, a very fancy whore house judging by some of the whores strutting around. He went back to his hunt, keeping both eyes pealed, his ears listening for anything out of the ordinary.  
  
A single blue door blocked his path, several booted feet muffled out through to his side. Alex scoffed pushing it open, peaking around the crack looking over several men standing there, one a mage prancing about in high heeled boots. Hmm, pretty sweet looking boots too.  
  
He leaped forward through the door, his daggers held in his hands going behind each and every single one of them, bar the mage flapping his hands about as blood splattered on his white and gold clothing.  
  
"Who's there, reveal yourself. I demand it right now!"  
  
"Oh, you mean little ole me," Alex grinned sliding a dagger over the mans neck, "Tell me, why you trying to kill the Herald, hmm?"  
  
The Orleasian huffed, "Your dripping blood on my new clothes. He is a threat to everything around us, assassin. I don't know who you are, but kindly release me."  
  
"I don't think so," he smirked slicing the mans neck open, little rivulets of blood ran over the pure white shirt staining it deep crimson when he pushed the dead man away, "No-one threatens anyone I fucking know, toff. No-one."  
  
Alex ducked out the way of an arrow aimed right his way, slipping back into the shadows watching as two more were lodged into the now dead mans neck.  
  
"SNEAKY! Tha' was mine, bloody shits. I had a funny lined up too," this blond elf stomped through the courtyard, her bow held out in-front of her aiming at nothing, "I was gonna say, 'Just say what,' he woulda gone what, I woulda killed him. I laugh, we talk, blah, blah, blah. Eff, you ruined it!"  
  
He snorted loudly sneaking up behind the woman, "Boo," he giggled when her arrow went off into the distance, "Who exactly are you? Hmm."  
  
"Sera, friend of Red Jenny. Oh, oh, oh," Sera jumped up and down, "I stole breaches! They gonna be comin', wanna see who kills them all first?"  
  
"Your on."  
  
She grinned wide when he came out form the shadows, twirling his daggers at the men running up on them both. He cocked his head at the half naked men right there, quirking his eyebrow at one in particular who had a nice set on him. Oh well. He dipped his head chasing after the first arrow, knocking it out the way before it hit the man, plunging his own dagger in deep. Sera squealed out loudly firing more.  
  
They hit the target, which just left one standing there dropping his weapons on the ground. Alex rolled his eyes pulling a throwing knife from his back the same time Sera notched another arrow. They both hit at the same time, his knife slicing right down the shaft into the mans heart. He licked his lips, getting a tang of blood off them before wiping his face with his sleeve.  
  
"Your prett' good ain't ya, sneaky. Whoosh," Sera waved her hands about in the air, "right into ma arrow. Bloody neat that."  
  
Alex snickered at her face, her eyes going crossed trying not to laugh, "So, tell me Sera of Red Jenny. What the fucking hell this was about?"  
  
"Other then 'earing he had it out for glowy hand? Not much," she shrugged, "Couldn't tell ya shit from a rams arsehole. I was told to watch, so I watched. He hit some servin' boy too. Pissed me off summit bad when the kid found me. So, I found them for ya."  
  
He cocked his head at the elf again, looking her over, "Kay. Well, thanks for that. So you wanna join the Inquisition, right? I would say yes, but not my call on that. Though," he tapped his chin, thinking, "I think Cass would say yes. So, yes?"

"Deal! Er, where am I goin'?"  
  
"Haven, Sera. I'll let Lee know your coming, kay. I think she can use you in certain shit. Oh, by the way," Alex grinned pointing to her armour, she looked down, "You got red on you," and flicked her nose slipping back into the shadows when she barked a laugh.  
  
He had just enough time to check the ravens before Cass started to panic. He had just enough time to write a letter too, darting back through everyone, going past the fancy whore house to the main bazaar. Alex kept his head down when he ran to the docks, dancing around elves hauling cargo from boats.  
  
He rounded the corner without looking, and plowed right into Cassidy holding several messages on his hands, the paper flittered up in the air when Alex just rolled off him grabbing them all before they got wet.  
  
He blushed looking down at the wide eyed Cassidy looking up at him from the floor, the staff a few feet away when it came loose.  
  
"Fucking hell, I wasn't looking where I was going, Cass," he blushed even more helping the poor man up from the ground, "I was just coming to check on this shit, too."  
  
"One way to sweep someone off their feet, I, I suppose."  
  
Alex bit his lip when he laughed, looking through the letters, "Before you ask, I dealt with a problem thats no longer a fucking problem. Recruited a Friend of Red Jenny too while I was at it. She's going to Haven. I gotta-" he frowned at one letter in particular, feeling something shift around inside, "Huh."  
  
"Huh what?"  
  
"Er, can you write to Leliana, tell her that a Sera is coming her way," he pealed open the wax seal on the letter, just his name was written on the outside nothing about who it was from, nothing. A ring landed in the palm of his hand, one he knew quite well when he stared at it right there, the blue band going around the untarnished silver glinting in the dipping sun light.  
  
Cassidy frowned at him when he lifted his gaze from it, "A ring? Fro-from who? Alex, why is there a ring in your palm?"  
  
"I thought I lost it," he swallowed loudly gripping it tight, "I thought I fucking lost it years ago, Cass. It was a gift from Clan Sabrae to me," Alex clamped his eyes shut, "I lost it in Kirkwall during the final battle."  
  
"Oh. A, a wedding ring? I, I have never seen one like that before."  
  
Alex shook his head shoving it in his pocket, "Not even close. Its very special, helped me out several times when I needed them to. I, I better go get cleaned up if we're going to some party."

* * *

 

Neither of them wanted to step through the doors to this ostentatious looking home at all. Orlesians in high fashion looked them both over, before scoffing talking about them loudly so they could hear every word. Cassidy slumped his shoulders looking up the steps, looking up through to the people dancing. Alex growled through his teeth pushing the younger man on his back to move.

  
More snooty nobles scoffed at them, more nobles waved their hands in disgust when they were announced. Cassidy could hear these people calling Alex every name under the sun, calling him a debauchee, a murderer, even heard dirty knife-ear lover under some breaths. His name calling was no better as they looked about themselves. A Blood Mage, murderer again, and how low the Trevelyan's have fallen to have someone like him in the bloodline.  
  
Tears started to prick his eyes trying to keep everything under control. He didn't want to cry right now, give these people more fuel to burn him, the Inquisition, nor Alex when the man slowly shook his head.  
  
"This, is why I hate the upper fucking crust," he said rather loudly around him, the whole place were silent when he waved his hand at them all, "This, is why I hate people like you. You treat anyone who's not you like fucking shit. You treat your servant's no better then fucking dirt. You disgust me, all of you."  
  
"Is this what this so called Inquisition has stooped too? Your nothing, all of you, are nothing but washed up sisters, crazed Seeker," one of the noble saunted down the steps, "And now, a well known murderer among their number. Even a Mage as Andraste's so called Herald."  
  
Cassidy wanted to leave and never come back here when he softly choked back on a sob. He tried to hide it behind his gauntlet when the masked man walked around them, sneering his lip up eyeing them both over.  
  
"Keep talking, precious. You even know how to use the sword on your back?"  
  
The man fisted his hands on his hips, dipping his head, "Do you have nothing more to say for yourselves? If you were men of honour you would-" Cassidy stepped back when the man grabbed for his sword, he flinched at the spray of blood from the masked mans mouth pouring down his neck, a small knife lodged right under his chin. Alex brought back his fist into the dying mans face, knocking the mask clean off when the man went down.  
  
The metal thing skidded along the floor, only stopping when a white and grey boot stood on it, laughing.  
  
"Your very brutal, dear. Can someone clean this mess up. I'd rather not have someone trip over the Marquis body laying there, cluttering up my floors."  
  
Alex just shrugged at it, following the women when she waved them to come. Cassidy gripped Alex's shoulder hard, the tips of his gauntlets sinking in deep as he shook, still trying to push every word away from him. She guided them up a set of stairs over looking very pretty gardens.  
  
"Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchanter to the Emperial Court. I know you quite well, Alex Knight. Though your description does you little justice, dear."  
  
The older man shrugged leaning against the wall, a smoke hung from his lips looking over the gardens when he lit it, "I get that a lot. So, I'll either take it as a compliment or an insult. I don't really fucking care either way."  
  
Vivienne just smirked looking at Cassidy now, "As the Leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that 'I' join your cause."  
  
"I, I see? And, why exactly do you wish to join, Madame De Fer?"  
  
"For professional reasons, dear. I am a Mage of no small talent. I am loyal to Thedas and its people as you should be, Herald."  
  
Alex snorted loud, "Uh huh. Personal gains, right? Someone in your position joining us? Did someone take your fancy fucking seat, Vivienne, did someone steal your position in the court?" they both watched the womans lips part slightly, "I know full well someone did. I know exactly who it was too. So, I'll say it again: Personal fucking gain."  
  
"Do you wish for me to join or not?" Vivienne looked over the people dancing, "I can aid in Orleasian politics, magic, be an adviser. Whatever you wish."  
  
"I, I don't know. Alex?"  
  
The older man flicked his smoke out the window, Vivienne's eyes go wide when she tried to grab it, "I'll say this only once, Vivienne. You fuck him over, you fuck ANY of us over for your personal bullshit. And I'll come down on you so hard, they'll have to change your fucking name to 'Chevaliers Petite Chienne'."  
  
"Thank you. Enjoy the Salon," she slunk away like a dog with its tail between its legs. Cassidy felt his arm being hooked, Alex just winked up at him dragging him down the stairs to the dancing. Everyone got out their way when Alex stopped, taking his glowing hand in his, putting a hand on his waist slowly dancing with him right in-front of everyone.  
  
His cheeks flushed looking down at his heavily armour feet whispering, "I, I don't know how to dance."  
  
"Its simple. One, two, step. One, two, step. Don't look down, look at me. Here," Alex puts his hand on his slender hip, nodding his head, "Keep it there and watch my face, not your feet. Feel through your hands, not the floor. Let the music guide your body, even if it is rubbish."  
  
Cassidy chewed on his lip trying to keep his concentration again, trying his hardest not to fall deep head first into the pale green fade like cat eyes smiling at him. He felt like a lumbering idiot moving around on the floor, a tall slightly too chunky lumbering idiot, compared to Alex's lithe smoothness gliding around everywhere. His breathing felt like it was getting harsher the more they danced, the hands getting tighter against him, and against Alex. Bodies getting closer too, feeling his thighs brush against thighs.  
  
"You know," Alex whispered, "I been meaning to say, you look pretty good in black leather. Like the thigh highs too."  
  
The blush that went over his face and down his neck, could of lit a multitude of fires with the amount of heat coming from them, "Tha-thank you, Alex. Though, the boots, I, I'm not too-"  
  
"They suit you. All of it does, Cass," a soft smile played on the other mans face, his head dipped a little looking up at him through his lashes, "Makes your eyes stand out."  
  
Someone tapped him on the arm, a stern faced elderly woman glared at them both pointing out the door, "Leave. We want no more of this here. Take your quirks else where!"  
  
"Quirks? Thats a new one," Alex shrugged tugging on his hand to leave, "Least it ain't fag or queer being thrown about. Kinda like Quirk better."  
  
The cool breeze coming from the water around them was a welcome feeling for Cassidy. The gentle air ruffling his hair as they walked hand in hand through the lit streets, back to the hotel they were all staying in. He stopped them both just under a street lantern, the flickering light was enough to see the other mans face by it.  
  
"Does that happen often? Doesn't it bother you?"  
  
"Trust me, Grand Cleric Elthina said a lot fucking worse. So did Carvers fucking brother, he was a sick little cunt. Ugh, not now," Alex shook his head, "Guess not everyones into that whole shit. Thought Orlais was a bit more open then that, guess not, huh."  
  
He nodded, fidgeting with his coat again, "I, I thought about what you said the other day. To-to think about what, about what I want. I, still want you, Alex."  
  
"Are you sure? I mean, really, really sure?"  
  
Cassidy breathed in deeply letting his coat go as his fingers twitched in the gauntlets, gently putting his hands on Alex's shoulders, letting his breath out slowly dipping his head down to those lips that just parted, "More then anything."  
  
Fingers brush up the sides of face, through hair pushing harder against warm lips. His heart hammered hard, so hard he thought it would burst out from his chest when they touched tongues. Cassidy pushed his whole body closer, he didn't think there was a hairs width between them languidly kissing under the street lamp.  
  
His own hands slide down broad shoulders, going down Alex's sides to his hips, then around to his back holding him ever closer even though there couldn't possibly be any more room.  
  
It was no different then kissing a girl, infact, the taste was better, the feeling was better pushing his own tongue deeper. He groaned a little too hard into it, feeling his stiffness press hard up against Alex, which just made him grip even harder on the mans back. Cassidy didn't want to stop, he didn't want any of this to stop when Alex sucked on his tongue pulling back from it.  
  
"You made me like you."  
  
Cassidy just snorted resting his forehead on Alex's, "I, I think thats a little apparent now."  
  
"Just a little bit. We should get some sleep. We leave early tomorrow. And no, no funny business. Just sleep."  
  
He was guided back the hotel, but the smile on his face didn't leave when he dipped his head at the woman behind the desk. It didn't leave going up the stairs holding each others hand, leaning against the other. It certainly didn't leave when he was tugged away from his room to Alex's. Nothing left him at all, shucking out from most of his clothes, then flopping down on the soft bed.  
  
It widened even more snuggling up close to the warm body next to him, foreheads touching, arms and legs tangling as they both fell asleep that way until dawn.

He can do this. Yes, he can do this.

* * *

 

  
Nothing was ever simple when they all tried to leave. Seems the whole of Thedas was against them trying to get ahead, when the elven mage stopped them all heading towards the waiting carriage.

  
  
"If I may have a moment of your time."  
  
Cassandra's eyes go huge at the woman standing there, "Grand Enchanter Fiona!"  
  
"The true Leader of the Mage Rebellion? Is it even safe for you to be here?" Solas raised an eyebrow looking her over, then tugged on Alex's arm, whispering, "Do you feel that Da'len?"  
  
Alex nodded looking the woman over as well, something was very very off here. If she's the true Leader, then what in fucking hell was she doing here, with the weird odd feeling rolling over from her? He stood by Cassidy as she spoke more. Varric quirked an eyebrow, Alex barely shook his head as an answer.  
  
"You, think the Templars did it?"  
  
"Of course she does, why wouldn't she," Cassandra rolled her eyes.  
  
Cassidy frowned side-eyeing Alex next to him, the older man had his eyes squinted looking her over again. He lent down slightly, "Whats wrong?"  
  
"Not now. Fiona, where's the other mages? Why are you here of all places?"  
  
The elven woman dipped her head, stepping backwards, "Redcliffe. Consider this an invitation to come. An alliance that can benefit us both," and with that she bowed, leaving them all standing there watching her leave.  
  
"Redcliffe? Oh, shit," Alex's eyes go wide looking up at Cassidy, then to Cassandra, "Arl Teagan should be there with his men. But, but I haven't heard from Teagan in sometime. I don't like this."  
  
Varric shifted Bianca on his back, tugging on his sleeve, "Menace, I got a contact up that way. Gimme the word-"  
  
"Do it, Varric. If this is a trap, or the Arl has come to harm in some way," Cassandra glared through the crowd of people, "We need to know. Knight, has nothing been received from King Connor? Is he not in Denerim?"  
  
Alex ran a hand through his fringe, Cassidy took hold of his other hand squeezing it tight, which just earned a smirk from Varric eyeing it, "He should of been. Lee said he went back to Redcliffe a while ago. I, I haven't heard a peep from him either. Seeker, I don't fucking like any of this, especially her."  
  
"Cassandra, there was an odd energy from the Grand Enchanter. One I have never encountered before. Something was very, off, here," Solas hummed under his breath, walking backwards towards the carriage.  
  
"Let us return to Haven, then we can plan our next step. But I do agree, there is something very odd going on. First the Lord Seeker with the Envy demon. Now the Grand Enchanter? Sweet Maker, I hope nothing else has happened."  
  
They were all on edge when the left in the carriage, all of them. Alex slumped down in his seat, Cass on one side, Solas on the other. Varric still had the smirk playing on his lips, nudging him with his boot. Ugh, all he could think of was Anders doing that to him about- He bit his lip looking out the window, swallowing the lump that tried to form in his throat, pushing his booted foot on Varric's.  
  
His friend smiled softly at him out from the corner of his eye, but the lump was still in Alex's throat resting his chin on Cassidy's shoulder, the countryside whizzing by just made his eyes blur. The younger man shifted slightly, Solas shifted too on his other side. For some odd weird reason, Alex felt comforted both inside and out, on both sides. It, was an odd feeling. One he really hasn't fucking known in a long time. Felt like family again.  
  
Cassidy quirked an eyebrow at the man on his shoulder, who's eyes were slowly closing. He chuckled under his breath shifting in his seat, sliding his arm around the mans back and waist, the dwarf winked at him when he caught his eye. Cassidy blushed bright red, burying his face into brown hair, closing his own eyes at the gentle rock of the carriage.  
  
"Is'an ane in lath. Dinathe'dirthelan i banal'ras, saron la'var sa. Its fitting," Solas smiles thumbing his jaw bone.  
  
Varric blinked a few times, stopping his writing, "Chuckles? Mind repeating so the rest of us who dunno elf, knows what you just said."  
  
"Not important, Varric. We should leave them to it, while we discuss the Stone. Do you dream?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation - 
> 
> Chevaliers Petite Chienne - Knights Little Bitch  
> Is'an ane in lath. Dinathe'dirthelan i banal'ras, saron la'var sa. - They are in love. Necromancer and Shadow, together as one.
> 
> Goldie - Inner City Life - https://youtu.be/6ZzPBaDArKY


	9. You're Not Alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return to Haven brings an unhappy thing forth for Cassidy in-front of everyone. He tries not to fall apart, only to end up falling in a different way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Abuse (Physical and mental), frottage and blowjobs.
> 
> Olive - You 're Not Alone - https://youtu.be/grj0ffXzTFA

Alex fell out the carriage first when it reached Haven, Varric snickering the entire time at everyones faces. He heaved on the ground, cursing his best bloody friend for the worst taste in food there ever is. Four blurs came running down the steps, knocking Alex into his backside. Three sets of licking tongues trying to take his face clean off, and one squealing mass of four and a half year old girl crawling onto his chest under the other three.  
  
Cassidy burst out laughing at mass on the snow covered ground, Solas bending down ruffling both mabari's head who were trying to lick everyone at the same time. Sarge managed to extract himself slowly walking over to him, then knocked his head against his leg purring loudly.  
  
"Menace, I swear they get worse."  
  
"I swear you get worse the older you get, farty. Good God, your never eating again, you hear me!" Alex mumbled being smothered by Trouble.  
  
"Uncle Alex, babae said to tell you-" Kessie squirmed on his chest, "Major, thats my head! Babae said you have to see him."  
  
He sighed laying flat out on the ground giving up, Trouble wandered off with Solas through the gates, both of them talking quietly together. Major decided now was the perfect time to fall asleep on both him and Kessie, still squirming trying to get free.  
  
"I will do. Dunno when right now, but I will."  
  
A scoff made them all look up, the Seeker had one eyebrow raised trying her hardest not to laugh looking down at them. Trying to look disapproving, brushing imaginary dirt from her armour, "I will inform Cullen you will be delayed, Knight. The Herald can tell him everything that was never written in letters."  
  
He just waved her off, trying to get his bloody dog off both of them, which he wasn't doing when he huffed in his ear crushing poor Kessie under him. Thats it, he's never leaving this lot alone for that long again. He HATED not bringing his dogs, his fucking cat with him. Even worse was leaving Lyna behind again. But she had Cole to talk to.  
  
Alex frowned wondering where his friends were. Kessie managed to crawl out from under Major, huffing loudly herself glaring at the brown mabari boofing up at her.  
  
"Uncle Alex, theres a mean man here too. They shouted at Josie," she pouted crossing her little arms over her chest, "He shouted at me and mamae too."  
  
Alex felt a little anger go through him, "Is he still here, Kessie?"  
  
"Yes," she pointed to one of the cabins, "He shouted at everyone. I don't like him."  
  
"Are they Templars?" Cassidy knelt down next to her, Sarge peaking his tabby grey head from his coat, "Wh-why would they be shouting at everyone?"  
  
Kessie screwed her face up, flinging her hands around his neck, "No. He shouted for you, purple eyes. He shouted at men who look like you too."  
  
Cassidy felt the colour drain from his face picking the little girl up. Alex frowned up at him from the ground, pushing his dog off him, "Cass?"  
  
"They wouldn't- He-he wouldn't of come here. Please tell me its not him."  
  
"Cass, who?" Alex took Kessie from his arms, "Whats going on?"  
  
Cassidy swallowed loudly looking up the steps. Theres no way his father and brothers were here. They couldn't be here. Shakes ripped through him feeling a wave of sick slide up his throat. He clamped his eyes shut, putting a hand out to Alex which the man took, gripping him tight when they set off through the gates.  
  
They didn't even get half way up the steps when a voice he recognised shouted at him, his father standing there in all his Trevelyan glory pointing at him as he spat on the ground.  
  
"You send threats against ME! You send assassin's against your own FAMILY!" he ran down the steps at him, Cassidy could see his brothers coming out from the cabin as well, "You filthy Maker taken curse."  
  
The backhand his father did against his face, sent him falling backwards down the steps. The staff clattered down them as much as he did in-front of everyone. His father went to hit him again when he backed away, tears streaming down his face as entire body shaking in fear of the man.  
  
"You fat, ungrateful, useless, piece of horse shit!"  
  
His father went flying when Alex pounced on him, both men falling onto the ground hard. Cassidy still shook from fear when his brothers ran the steps, both of them going wide eyed at him, then at their father being pinned on the ground.  
  
Every soldier there drew their weapons, aiming right at him when Alex spat in the mans face, "You just bought yourself a fucking death sentence."  
  
"Get this man off me! Who in the Makers name do YOU think you are threatening me?"  
  
"Champion of the People. The Herald's fucking Shadow. Your worst fucking nightmare, Serah Trevelyan," Alex sneered hauling Cassidy's father up from the ground by his gorget, "Cass, what you want done with him, your call."  
  
He looked between his two older brothers, to his father who still looked at him with disgust on his face. Cassidy sucked in a breath when Cassandra helped him from the ground, "Ge-get him out of my life. Please," he choked back on the sob, "Get me out of here, Cassandra."  
  
She dragged him away up the Chantry, Varric was aiming Bianca down the steps nodding his head at him, then heard the sing song of the crossbow getting ready. Vomit rose up on his throat collapsing just inside the doors, his hands bracing him sucking everything that threatened to come up, back down in him.  
  
"Cassidy, thank the Maker. They arrived this morning, we couldn't get him to leave until he saw you," Leliana cupped his face kneeling down, "Even with everything me and Josephine threw at him, he still wouldn't leave."  
  
"Brother, Maker, we had no idea," he cringed at his brothers voice, "He, he said he wanted- Cassidy, we had no idea."  
  
Sitting back on his haunches, he wiped his eyes wincing at the pain in his face looking up at the pair of them standing there, "Yes you did. Yo-you just ignored it like mother did. What do you want, Maxwell?"  
  
"No, we didn't. We didn't even know he left you at the circle, until he came back without you. Maker, we thought-" Devon pushed his older brother to one side, kneeling next to him now, "After grandmother died, he, he just got worse. We honestly thought he killed you, Cassidy."  
  
"Then we hear your the Herald of Andraste? He flew off the handle, brother. We only joined him so he wouldn't kill you, not like he would of listened to us," Maxwell sighed.  
  
His brothers, Cassandra, and everyone else around him back off as a shadow fell through the doors. A pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, a forehead pressed against the back of his neck made him sigh out, "Alex."  
  
"Cullen's dealing with him, Cass. I actually refused to do it when he offered, I wasn't gonna be that person. Solas and Sijon are coming to heal you."  
  
"Tha-thank you. I, I think I need to lay down. Devon, Maxwell, we-we can talk later."

* * *

 He didn't know how long he laid there when Solas finally left. He didn't know how long he just stared at the cabin wall right next to his bed. His brothers came by to talk to him, he barely felt like talking at all. All he felt was numb with his fathers words being thrown at him again. Yes, fine, the man was out of his life now, but he was still hurting at the cutting words that would always cut deeper then any wound.  
  
Cassidy felt like he was back at square one again with his life. Felt like the days before the circle all over again as he laid there, tracing the weak light down the wall when the sunset outside. Felt like the years being inside that place all over again. He was back to square one.  
  
Day slowly slipped into night when he finally rolled onto his back, a soft, cold, wet nose pushed against his tear stained face. Sarge purred knocking his head on his chin, his little tongue licking away the salt. Cassidy would smile if he could, but he didn't looking up at the roof. He should be saving the world or something, but he didn't want to any more. He was far too numb inside to even care.  
  
He frowned at the soft sound of music playing now, the sound gently echoing around the cabin, the soft sound of womans voice filling him when he rolled his head to the left.  
  
Trouble and Major were both by the fire, their heads resting over the others asleep. Alex was standing by the window looking out from it, the pale moonlight seeping through almost gave him a halo, which just made Cassidy blink a few times. The song, the music, just made him choke back a soft sob listening to it.  
  
"I'm not alone," he whispers, clamping his eyes tight, "I'm not alone."  
  
"No, your not. Never will be again," Alex whispered back as the bed dipped beside him, "There you are, thought you wandered off into the fade somewhere."  
  
Cassidy snorted softly opening his eyes, "Not this time."  
  
Hair was brushed from his face, the pale cat like eyes looked as pained as he felt when Alex sighed, putting his head on his chest, "Its been three days, Cass. I know what all this is fucking like, trust me."  
  
"Oh. I, I-" he clamped his eyes shut again, feeling tears well up in them sucking in a shuddering breath, "Sorry."  
  
"Nothing to be sorry for. Me, Cullen and Solas have been sorting things out."  
  
Cassidy burst into tears, his father was right, he was useless. Everyone was doing what he's supposed to be doing, all of them.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey, its alright. No-one minds, kay. Cullen knows I can do it for you, Cass, so its fine," a soft kiss was placed on his brow, "Cassandra's been working with Josephine and Madame Petite Chienne for other matters. We have everything handled, kay. Everything. All you need to do," another soft kiss against his cheek this time made him open his eyes, "is look pretty waving your hand about, closing the tears down."  
  
He choked a wet laugh at the man grinning at him, "I, I can do that."  
  
"Good. I did say you have all of us, and you fucking do. No-one's gonna make you do something against your will, Cass, no-one. You have everyone here to fall back on," Alex rested his forehead against his, brushing the hair from his face again, "And no-one's gonna mind."  
  
"Thank you. Alex, I, I want to ask something," he shifted on the bed, Alex quirked an eyebrow at him when he shifted again, "Does it hurt?"  
  
The older man frowned, "Does what hurt?"  
  
Cassidy pushed Alex off him, shifting, sitting up against the headboard now, chewing his lip while wiping his eyes on his sleeve, "Sex with another man. Does it hurt?"  
  
"Er, no. If it does, your doing it wrong. Cass, why the fuck you asking about this now of all times?"  
  
He nodded thumbing the hem of his shirt now, "I, I want to know, wha-what it would be like. You know I've never been with a man before, and, and I-" he felt stupid and awkward even asking any of this, stupid, awkward, fat, lumbering idiot of a useless lump, "Void, he got to me. He-he got to me again."  
  
"Cass, he was an arsehole. Look," the older man straddled his legs, cupping his face forcing him to look at Alex, "whatever he said, he's fucking wrong, kay. Whatever your thinking, your wrong too. Don't think I can't see it in your face."  
  
"I'm a stupid, useless, fat-"  
  
Alex held his face firmer shaking his head at him, "No your fucking not! Good God, your gorgeous, your fucking gorgeous. You have no fucking idea how much you are. Fuck what he said, fuck what anyone else says, fuck what you think too while I'm at it. Your beautiful. Your not fat, 'I' was fucking fat in my previous life, Cass, your gorgeously thick. Who wears those God damn thigh highs better then I fucking can. I'm not jealous much."  
  
"Yo-your just saying that," Cassidy side-eyed out the window, "The only time the girls in the circle would sleep with me," he sniffed, "was if the candles were out."  
  
"Ugh, seriously? I wouldn't do it with the lights off, except if theres no fucking lights," Alex leaned forward whispering in his ear, "I'd do it right out in the open with you, right in-front of everyone too. Because your fucking gorgeous. This," one of his hands were taken from his shirt wringing, his eyes go wide to where Alex placed it looking back at the older man, "is what you do to me. Even when I fucking denied the whole thing, THATS what you do to me. The fucking kiss we did, you have no idea how much I just wanted to jump you right there and then."  
  
Cassidy swallowed when Alex let his hand go, but he kept his hand there against the bulge, feeling it grow harder the longer he kept it there. His mind hiccuped when Alex gently ground down on his palm, the older man groaned into his hair doing it again, "Fuck."  
  
"I, I, I don't know what to do," he murmured when the man did it again, "Alex, I, I-"  
  
"Stay right there, Cass. Put your hands on my hips if you want," Alex wrapped both him arms around his neck, sliding further up his thighs. Cassidy moaned then slipping his eyes closed, doing what the other man said by putting his hands on the slender hips, when the man rolled his body against his own erection forming. His lips parted at the feeling, at the slow gentle rolls of hips under his hands against him.  
  
His fingers dug into the man pushing his head back on the headboard, soft kisses were pressed into the side of his face to his ear, then moaned louder when teeth gently tugged on his lobe. Alex lets his neck go, still rolling his whole body onto him, fingers undoing the shirt he wore when he finally opened his eyes. The older man pushed it open, running his hands down his shoulders, down his chest to his stomach smiling the entire time.  
  
"Gorgeous," the man licked his lips grinding down even harder against his cock, pulling his own shirt up and over his head. Cassidy got to see the tattoos over the mans chest, his stomach, arms, sides, everywhere his eyes could see. He got to see the toned body under his hands, got to see the way Alex's body moved against him, the roll, the ripple like a snake grinding down on him even more.  
  
The older man called him gorgeous? Void, the man under his hands, the very same man carding his hands through his hair, pushing his lips hard against his was far more gorgeous. Cassidy groaned into the kiss, he groaned even more when tongues touched, digging his fingers in harder into hips. He wanted more when he started to slide down the bed, he wanted more pushing his tongue deeper into the warm, sweet tasting mouth.  
  
Finger nails dragged down his scalp as much as his went up the mans back to his shoulders, then back down again arching his own hips up when he slid down the bed fully.  
  
Neither of them broke the kiss, but he did gasp in it when Alex stopped his grind against him, slipping his legs between his pushing them apart. Cassidy felt a hand go down his face, down his side to the waist band of his soft black sleeping pants, then slipped under and down over his stiffness. He groaned hard pushing his head into the mattress breaking the kiss, as deft fingers gently stroked down his shaft, then back up again.  
  
"I want to taste you," Alex breathily said into his ear before licking over the shell, "I want to taste you as you cum, gorgeous."  
  
Cassidy just grunted as a reply, panting through his teeth when a tongue licked down his neck, the hand in his sleep pants still stroking him. He panted even more when the tongue went lower, flicking over his skin, tasting him, nipping, teasing when it got to his navel. He's never had anything like this, never had some girl do this to him when his pants were slowly pulled down, that same tongue lapping down to his aching cock.  
  
Void, he's never had anything like this at all, when he moaned loud into the cabin pushing his head further into the mattress under him.  
  
He managed somehow to lift his hips enough for the pants to be slid over his backside and thighs, the warm mouth nipping and biting over his hips. One leg was pulled free, the other, well, still had the pants wrapped around his calf when his thigh was taken, Alex leaning against it lapping down his shaft. His other hand run up his other thigh, pushing it open even more when the warm mouth just took him into it.  
  
Cassidy put a fisted hand into his mouth, biting on it as the warm wet mouth bobbed up and down on his Void taken cock. His fade piece hand grabbed the back of Alex's head, gripping the hair under his hand moaning around the fist in his mouth. The hand on his thigh left it, the head under his fade piece hand went a little faster. He felt Alex hum around him, felt the tongue press harder against his shaft, the hand around his still clothed leg gripping harder.  
  
Cassidy arched his back, his whole body felt tight letting his magic spark off his fingers into the hair still gripped hard under his hand.  
  
He felt the fade piece hum louder and louder as much as he was around the fist in his mouth. The tang of blood touched his lips when he bit down hard on his own hand, almost yelling behind it when he came. His magic sparked off wildly, magic he's never had before jolt right through him, right through Alex who moaned harshly around his cock, digging his nails into Cassidy's thigh.  
  
His mind swam letting everything go, letting his hands fall on either side of him, his legs flopping this way and that as he panted and swallowed looking up at the cabin ceiling.  
  
"Void," he managed to mutter out, swallowing again.  
  
A soft chuckle between his legs made him lift his head to look. Alex grinned up at him licking his lips, then his own fingers, "Mmmm, can say that again. They have no idea what they missed out on."  
  
Cassidy blushed bright red, "Oh."  
  
"Your so sweet," Alex smirked kissing back up his body, "You know that right?"  
  
"No," he shook his head, the man chuckled again straddling his thighs, naked.  
  
"You are. Your a sweet," Alex kissed his lips gently, "adorable, gorgeous," he kissed his lips again smiling, "hunk of a man. Who somehow sent a jolt of electricity through me. Nice."  
  
Cassidy blinked a few times, looking at the fade piece in his hand, "Bu-but I can't do that!"  
  
"Either that, or the heavens sang a choir and God smited my arse. Either way," Alex shrugged smirking against his lips, "Your still sweet."  
  
He hummed when they kissed again, the languid slow roll of tongue against tongue made his body tighten, running his nails up Alex's back. The fade piece in his hand left trails when he ran them down, which just earned a gasping chuckle and a surprised look on his face feeling Alex and himself get hard again.  
  
"Oh... void."  
  
"And people used to call me horny. Later, oh gorgeous Herald. Unless you want me to plow you into the mattress, because I fucking will."  
  
Cassidy blushed, "May-maybe another night?"  
  
"Mmmm, anything you want."

* * *

  
  
Cassandra met them at the Chantry door, Cullen was pacing back and forth with Leliana.  
  
"Varric's, ugh, his informant gave us a message about Redcliffe."  
  
"Alex, it's not good," Cullen sneered his face up, "Both Connor and Teagan are no longer there, according to this, informant."  
  
Cassidy frowned looking at them all, "I, I feel a but coming on."  
  
"Magisters have taken the whole of Redcliffe over, with the remaining mages."  
  
Alex growled low in the back of his throat, pointing at Cullen, "Your fucking kidding right. Tell me your fucking kidding!"  
  
"Mon ami, we're not. The informant spotted several Magisters roaming Redcliffe. The mages, Maker, they," she shook her head, swallowing, "they are in poor condition. We have to get them away, HAVE to get them out of there."  
  
Cullen bit his lip hard, before he spoke again, "If this were any other time and I were another man. I would of said they had got what the deserved. But I'm not that man, theres children among their number. Young, children. All I can think is, 'That could of been Kessie-ann if things were different.' Herald, Alex, you have to get them away from those bloody Magisters."  
  
"Void, I, I wonder if Silvia is with them? I, I think we should bring Orran and David with us incase. Solas, Varric and you too Cassandra," Cassidy felt his heart sink, Alex touched the back of his hand, "Th-this is top priority."  
  
"Yeah, it sure fucking is. Lee, some fucking messenger dropped off a request. Some 'Iron Bull' wants to meet us up on the Storm Coast."  
  
His friend skimmed the letter over, "I will send Harding to see what this is about. BUT, there is something else. A lone Grey Warden was found in the Hinterlands. A Warden named Blackwall. Alex, he may know whats happened with the others, no. He may know more then what either of us do. I tried to reach Alistair and Aveline, but she wrote back telling me he's now gone missing."  
  
"FUCK!" Alex threw his hands up in the air then tugged on his fringe, "Okay, theres gotta be some fucking Warden Calling thing going on. Can we get her the fuck here? No, no, I know where I can send her for safety: Crestwood, with Andy and Beth. We'll go see this Blackwall on the way up to Redcliffe."  
  
"I will send some men up that way, Alex. Maker knows, somethings going on right now. Oh, Sijon wanted a word about your hair before you leave," his brother-in-law smirked.  
  
Everyone left them standing there looking at each other, Cassidy flicked the fringe from Alex's face, frowning, "Are you really going to have a hair cut?"  
  
"Er, yeah. I used to have something similar to this years ago, Cass," he hooked the other mans arm walking back out the Chantry, "Got it cut, then I fucking end up growing it like this again after Anders? Fuck was I even thinking?"  
  
"But, I like this. It suits you," the younger man pouted slightly, "Cou-could always grow it longer, have a pony tail."  
  
Alex snorted, "You wanna see me in a pony tail? Holy fucking shit, gonna have to wait a while for that. Unless," he giggled looking through Cass's coat, "You gotta magic spell tucked in there for growing hair."  
  
"Noooo," he giggled back, "I, I can wait for it to grow longer," Cassidy cupped Alex's face, then planted a huge smacking kiss against the mans lips, "I had better go say goodbye to my brothers before they leave. We should leave after you get this cut, which I'm still sad about."  
  
Cassidy left him standing there grinning like an idiot, one foot raised from the ground as he swung his entire self around in a circle, then giggled spotting Cole skip up the steps with Lyna in tow. Both of them talking, teh boy waving his hands about like he was casting magic. Alex grinned and smirked at the same time when Lyna snorted right in his face, then licked a wide stripe down to his chin.  
  
"LYNA! Really?"  
  
"Your happy, Alex," Cole wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his chest, "I like seeing you happy. Oh," lyrium blue eyes go wide, "I, I want to come too. I can hide, so no-one will know."  
  
Alex nodded his head, brushing the pale blond hair away from the boys eyes, "Be a good idea. Maybe you can sneak into the castle, see whats going on in there for us. Lyna, your coming to with the rest of us. I ain't ever leaving you behind again. None of you."  
  
"I will. But, if its too loud, I won't be able to see. Solas, he said the Breach hurts. Its loud and bright. Shouting, screaming in my ears sometimes. I, I can't heal that hurt. I tried," Cole shook his head, "Its like I want to forget, but I don't know why."  
  
"Its probably the others, Cole," Alex sighed pulling him along with Lyna down the steps, "Unless somethings trying to make you forget? Hmm," he frowned looking up at the Breach, "Cole, have others tried to talk to you? Twisted or otherwise?"

  
The boy blinked a few times playing with his sleeves when he let Alex go, "They hurt. All loud, bright, shimmering, screaming for help. Their frightened like I am. They, they don't understand whats happening to them. So, they fight, they hurt back, trying to remember, only to forget again. Alex, can we help them? Make them understand instead of hurting them. He, he doesn't like hurting them like you do."  
  
"We can try the next time we find a tear. I, wonder?" Alex hummed under his breath, Cole nodded his head in agreement, "Thats what I thought. Lets go save the mages and find this Blackwall first, then we can try."


	10. Low Man's Lyric.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Hinterlands, Cass and Alex have a small moment. Love in the lake, Blackwall... then angst happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight frotting goes on.
> 
> Metallica - Low Man's Lyric - https://youtu.be/karoPU8hfB0

Cassidy eyed the mount again, it snorted in his face in disapproval of him staring at it. Why couldn't he ride with Alex? The man himself was brushing Lyna down with Sarge tucked up in her horns, the cat busily washing its paws while the Halla rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Cassidy wrinkled his nose up at the all black mount, then fidgeted with his coat buckles instead when he gave up.  
  
Solas tapped him on the shoulder, motioning with his head for him to follow. Thank goodness. He really didn't want to have to deal with his mount as it was.  
  
"Cassidy," the elf stopped them under a tree, its leaves gently fluttering down around them, "Alex wishes to view a tear, he informed me last night of this wish."  
  
He frowned, "Why?"  
  
Solas thumbed the jaw bone around his neck, "He and Cole want to see if they can calm the twisted, talk to them. Perhaps encourage them to leave peacefully without harm. I, actually agree to it. If we can find a way not to harm any of them, I think we can all agree that would be better."  
  
"Oh. Do, do you think that will actually work? I, I don't want to have to hurt them either. But," he looked down at his hand, then towards where the Breach is, "what if something goes wrong?"  
  
"It may do that. We have no way of knowing what will happen. He wants to try when the Breach is sealed fully, so Cole will not find everything so loud. And then," Solas sighed shaking his head, "I will be able to find you a guide. All the ones I know who can help, are gone. Whether from fear of the Breach, or have been pulled through and twisted."  
  
His shoulders slumped, letting his hand fall to his side hearing that. How can he help now, with nothing helping him? Other then Alex, other then Solas, Cole, and everyone else helping him, he still couldn't help. No, he promised Alex he wouldn't do this to himself, he will close the tears, if the twisted wanted to leave he will help them. His magic, his guide and everything else-  
  
"I can wait, Solas. And we can most definitely see if they wish to leave. I, I suppose," he looked at his mount trying to nuzzle Lyna, the Halla nudging the horses head away, "I should get back to learning to ride. I, I really don't want too."  
  
The elf just snorted, tapping his arm, "Let the Halla guide you and your horse, Cassidy. Let Alex guide you as well. Though, I think your mount wants to be with Lyna as it is. He seems to be getting attached to her."  
  
"She looks unhappy though," the Halla pushed the horses head away again, huffing in his ear, "Or, or am I reading that wrong?"  
  
"Not in the least. Halla do mate with horses on occasions, produce a rather unique looking offspring when they do. There are no Halla around and she has come of age. She wants a mate."  
  
"Ooohhh," Cassidy watched the two mounts nudge each other, a small heat went over his cheeks when Alex caught his eye watching them, "Is, is that why he doesn't like me?"  
  
Solas just smirked wandering away from him, leaving him standing there like a fool with his mouth open. Void, he feels like the fool he is sauntering up to Alex, who was grinning wide at him, nodding his head over at Lyna and his horse munching on grass around the camp. Cassidy grabbed Alex's hand when it was offered, then pulled him in tight against him burying his face in dark brown hair, who was chuckling at him doing so.  
  
"What ya doing?"  
  
"Trying to hide my embarrassment, thats what," he mumbled, "Alex, I, I feel like a child."  
  
"What on earth for, Cass?" the older man pushed him back a little looking over his face, then sighed tugging him away from everyone watching, "Talk to me."  
  
Cassidy lowered his head being dragged a distance away, gripping his free hand against his leather pants, chewing on his bottom lip feeling like he was about to burst into tears again.  
  
"I, I feel naive about things. About those two," he points behind them to the mounts, "Father had horses of his own, I, I was never allowed near them. So," he blushed bright crimson when they stopped under a beautiful canopy, "I, have never seen... didn't know... Void, I feel like I'm five years old again."  
  
Alex cupped his face pulling him down to his forehead, brushing the tears that fell free from his eyes without him even knowing they did so with his thumbs, "Trust me, I had no idea Lyna and Trigger could kinda go together either. She fucking surprised the shit outta me when she told me," the older man snickered.  
  
"It, its not just that, I mean," Cassidy sighed out sadly wrapping his arms around the mans waist, "everything. Yes, okay, I had sex with girls in the circle. Everyone does it with everyone in there. I was taught little when I was younger, father forbade any of us to have an outside tutor for anything. The circle taught us to hate Templars, hate our own magic, each other, nothing about anything useful.  
  
I, I have no idea what I'm doing half the time. I, have tried so hard to learn anything I can from books. Even the ones you wrote too. I thirst for knowledge without doing anything terrible. But, but nothing I do, nothing I learn, everything I'm even trying to understand, it just goes over me most of the time."  
  
Alex searched his eyes then slowly smiled at him, which made Cassidy frown even more.  
  
"Learn on the fly. Do you know how fucking long it took me to realise that Justice made my skin crawl? Too fucking long. There is a thing of trying to do too much you know," the other man kissed his nose, "I knew absolutely nothing about this place, even now, even years later, I'm still fucking learning new shit. It don't matter how much you know," he kissed his chin now, "There will always be something out there, something brand spanking new to slap you hard in the fucking face."  
  
"Still doesn't make anything better. Like falling in love with you," he smiled softly even though tears still rolled down his face, "I, I never even thought about being with a man. Then you come along, being angry with me, with everything. It, it made me more curious about you then I should of been. The mysterious Outsider, who changed things with a mere touch. Who's in my arms under the falling autumn leaves."  
  
Alex blushed bright red himself now, trying to bury his own head in his chest while he chuckled, "Soppy git. Making me get all squishy."  
  
"I'm the squishy one," he chuckled back, "I, I'm still terrified I'll wake up and none of this is real. That I'm back in the circle, that-" Cassidy sniffed gripping the other tighter, "you'll be gone when I wake up. That, that I'll be alone again."  
  
"Your not alone-"  
  
"I know, but-"  
  
"Never again-"  
  
Cassidy pulled the man even closer against him, trying to both stop his shakes and to just never let Alex go at all. He choked on the sob that he held back, he didn't even know what to call any of this at all. Love, yes, perhaps, but he was terrified at the same time. Terrified if he lets go, there wouldn't be anything there in-front of him but air.  
  
"Cass," Alex sighed gripping him just as tight, "I'm here, this is real. All of it."  
  
He choked on another sob, "I, I, I'm scared-"  
  
"Cass-"  
  
"I'm scared of loosing you!" he just collapsed onto the ground still holding Alex tight against him, "I'm scared to let go. Void, I don't want to let go. I, I, I never want to let you go."  
  
Alex took his face in his hands again when he finally opened his eyes, he doesn't remember closing them when he looked into the cat eyes. He choked again seeing the other man was teary as much as he was, brushing the black hair from his sticky face straddling his legs. Cassidy put his own hands through Alex's new hair cut, pulling him down to his lips to make sure he was still there. His breath hitched feeling the warmth press hard against his own.  
  
He lets Alex's hair go taking the other mans hips instead in his hands, digging his nails in hard, slipping his tongue when those warm lips parted for him. Cassidy sighed into it, etching the taste, the feel, everything to memory. He never wanted to forget what this felt, pushing his tongue further rolling them both over, he never wanted to forget that he wasn't alone any more.  
  
A pair of legs wrap around his when he gently rocks his hips against the man under him. Their kissing getting more and more passionate, breathing more and more heavy when Alex ground his own hips up into his. Cassidy groaned hard taking the hands from his hair to pin them to the ground, nipping down Alex's chin to his neck rolling his hips a little harder.  
  
"Cass," Alex softly moaned his name arching his neck, "Fuck."  
  
He kissed his way back up to that mouth that said his name. "Alex," his breath mingled with the others wanting to do a lot more then this right now, but he just clamped his eyes shut stopping everything. Cassidy put his forehead on the others, shaking again.  
  
"Hey, hey, its alright. Hey," hands card through his hair, brushing it over his ears, "Its alright, I'm here."  
  
"Sorry," he whispered slowly opening his eyes.  
  
Alex just softly smiled at him brushing his fingers down his face, "Nothing to be sorry for, beautiful. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"I know," he whispered again, his breath ghosting on Alex's face, "I, I want to, void do I want too. Li-like what we did before, but, I want more. I, I don't know how."  
  
"Lucky you have me then," Alex gently kissed his lips, "But not yet if your not sure. When we're alone, just me and you, I can show you. Its, well, its been a good two and bit years for me with that."  
  
He smiled wetly when he sniffed, kissing the other man again when he nodded.

* * *

 

"What?"  
  
"What!"  
  
"What-"  
  
"Are we seriously doing this shit right now?" Alex glared at Cassandra glaring at him, "I said, theres a fucking spirit in the fucking lake, Seeker. Ugh."  
  
"And I said- You know what, never mind. I will take the two Templars with me up near Redcliffe. You," she flapped her arms at the rest of them glaring at her now, "just, go do whatever it is."  
  
Varric snorted trying to hide his laughter, he shrugged when Alex bit his lip looking at him. God, he loves winding the bloody woman up, and she rises to the bait every fucking time too. Even if his short arsed friend is slapping his arm hard now, pointing his finger right at his face when he burst out laughing. Varric's face went bright red, sitting heavily on the ground watching the woman ride away with the other two, then laid flat out on the ground giggling up into the blue sky.  
  
"Menace, that was uncalled for. Ahhh, like old times, huh."  
  
"Yeaah. Kinda miss it, Snoopy. Glad your still around thats for sure old man," he nudged the dwarf with his boot, "And there really is a spirit in the lake, right near the supposed lone Warden over there."  
  
"Blooming, blossoming, red tumbled with black. Sweet chimes like bells on the wind, echoing, calling, wanting. Alone, waiting, seeking the right one," Cole tilted his head squinting over the lapping water, "He, is Love."  
  
Alex's eyes go huge, Cassidy dug his gauntlets in his shoulders hard making him jump, "Love? In the middle of the fucking lake? How in hell did he get there!"  
  
Cole shrugged looking about himself now, "Blood Lotus," he pointed to a patch right near the shore, "He likes them. Oh, I can say hello," he beamed pulling the entire lot up, then vanished before anyone could say anything.  
  
"I- Wait- Dammit Cole, wait for us," Alex thinned his mouth trudging through the water with Cass still gripping his shoulders tight, "You know, I'm kinda glad Orran and David don't have a problem with him."  
  
"Me too. Yo-you don't think, the other day..." Cassidy gingerly removed his hands from Alex's shoulders, to his waist instead still being dragged along, "It, it was him?"  
  
Alex stopped, cocking his head, "Maybe. Does it matter?"  
  
"No," Cassidy sighed in his ear, "Hmm, do-do you think if we can free him, he could be my guide?"  
  
"That, actually might be a very good idea, Cassidy. If he is trapped," Solas smiled walking with them now, leaving Varric on the banks polishing Bianca, "If he requires help, I do not see why he couldn't be your guide at all. IF he agrees that is."  
  
Cole popped up near a small dock, his legs dangling in the water holding the Blood Lotus out. He smiles when they all stop a distance away, pointing down into the shallows, "There."  
  
They all watch in awe as a hand unfurls out the water, long delicate fingers stretch up into the sky. An arm joins it reaching up to the Blood Lotus, the top of the spirits head slowly lifting from the water. Alex's eyes go huge gripping Cassidy tight when he grabbed his hand, watching the spirit rise from the water. Rivulets of water gently roll down his back from the long dark hair covering him, a well defined but slender body greeted them when he turned around. Even Solas blinked a few times at the spirit standing there in all his glory.  
  
"Holy shit," Alex mumbled when long legs lifted onto the dock, Cole scooting out the way grinning up at him when Love ran a hand over the boys face.  
  
"Compassion, you are but a mere child," the voice like a thousand chimes rippled through them all, "But loves and feels love, nonetheless. We all make mistake's, even I."  
  
"Yes."  
  
The spirit of Love chuckled tucking the Blood Lotus into Cole's hat, "Indeed. Though," the spirit frowned looking over his shoulder at the mortals behind him, "I feel... I-"  
  
Love, was right in Alex's face tilting it to meet his own, "I feel- Desire of Choice deep within you, Outsider. He was a friend to me, as I to him. I, am Valor of Love, one of many who were exiled and outcast."  
  
"Oh God," Alex choked back on his tears looking up at the spirit, "He's, shit, he-" the spirit put a single finger over his mouth, looking right at Cassidy. A small smile graced his lips when he cupped the younger mans face, Alex choked back on his tears again when the spirit kissed his forehead, murmuring against it.  
  
Solas took his arm dragging him away when he went to collapse into the water, "Da'len, we should leave them too it. I believe a deal is being struck."  
  
"I, I-" Alex started to feel hollow inside all over again. He had no idea what the fuck was going to happen now. Is that it, is he's going to loose this Cassidy like everything else in his fucking life? Did Valor of Love see his old friend in the younger mans face as much as he could?  
  
_Fuck, tell me thats not why I feel for him. God, I'm a shitty person if thats the fucking case, you lowlife piece of shit._  
  
"Da'len, look at me," Solas stopped them at the camp, Alex just shook his head looking down at the ground as tears just pour out from his face, "Look. At. Me."  
  
He did. Solas grabbed his shoulders forcing him to stare into his eyes, "Whatever your thinking, stop. The spirit will not take anything away, he will in fact, add to it all. He will give Cassidy everything he needs, Da'len. He will be a guide, nothing more."  
  
"But-"  
  
Solas cut him off again digging into his shoulders, "I know your afraid of loosing everything again. You won't. What does Valor stand for?"  
  
Alex was starting to breath heavily standing there. His mind started to blank as blood slowly started speeding up through his body. He swallowed, answering, "Bravery. Courage. Strength"  
  
"What does Love stand for?"  
  
Panic was slowly dragging him down, "Lo-Love is- Love is- Warmth, passion, caring-" he screwed his eyes shut tight, "Valor of Love is one who is brave in his strength, compassionate about courage-"  
  
"Devotion, Da'len. Both mean devotion."  
  
"Which I don't fucking deserve, Solas. I don't fucking deserve ANYTHING," he spat knocking the mans hands of him, even though he was still panicking inside, "I'm dirt. Dayglo was fucking right, I'm a pathetic waste of nothing."  
  
Alex walked away from the elf, even though he could see the man was deeply hurt by him. He could see Varric with yet another worried expression on his face, he could see Cole's eyes from under his hat sadden when he walks by. Alex whistled for his dogs, for Lyna, for the ones who won't fucking hurt him no matter what. And walked around the lake to the lone Grey Warden even though his heart couldn't take any more shit.  
  
He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, pushing the fucking gnawing ache rip right through him, pushing all that out the window. He tried, oh by God did he try, but he let himself get close to the younger man when he should of left well enough alone.

* * *

 

"Wha-what was that for?"  
  
Valor smiled at the mortal, running his fingers gently down his face, "You look like my friend. He chose to look the way he did, but you were born that way, young one. He was my friend until he left us. We, we all missed him and he never knew."  
  
"But, you kissed me!" Cassidy felt an odd pang go through him looking up at the spirit, "My forehead, but you kissed me!"  
  
"Your beautiful, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Your stronger then you know as well," Valor brushed the hair from the mortals face searching his eyes, "I will be you guide, give you the strength and courage you so deserve. Be your passion and devotion, your bravery and," the spirit touched Cassidy's lips with his fingers, "love."  
  
Cassidy swallowed loudly, his lip quivered feeling the overwhelming presence of the spirit against his skin, "Bu-but I have Alex for-"  
  
"Yes, you do. But he cannot give you what I can," Valor lent down to his face, "Which is everything."  
  
"No, no, I can't accept that," Cassidy backed off a few steps, "I won't accept that. I need a guide, no-not one who doesn't even care about what I want."  
  
Valor tilted his head, his dark hair brushed over his bare skin, smiling, "Good. Because I will not give myself over to one who would readily agree to anything. See, your stronger then you know. I am Valor of Love, Valor is my first. Love, came later."  
  
"Was this some sort of test?" Cassidy rankled, "Void, you were testing me! That, is hardly fair!"  
  
"Isn't it? Most of your kind would accept anything for a deal, which I will not do. Do you accept my aid?"  
  
Cassidy lowered his gaze to the water, looking at his own reflection looking back at him. The pang got worse inside him, something he's never even felt before when he lifted his gaze back up.  
  
"No."  
  
Valor dipped his head, smiling again, "Then I bid you farewell, young one. If you ever change your mind, you know where I will be."  
  
The spirit walked away from him, slowly going back into the water leaving no ripples, no trace he was even there. Cassidy felt the pang worsen when he looked over to where Solas was standing, to where Varric and Cole looked pained. His eyes looked for Alex around them. He couldn't see him there at all, nor his dogs, nor Lyna, none of them. Panic went through hims sloshing through the water to his friends, almost tripping in his armoured feet putting both his hands out.  
  
"Whe-whe-wheres Alex?" that wasn't dread in his voice, was it?  
  
"Kid, he's gone to find the Warden. On his own. Maferaths ass."  
  
Solas took both his hands when he got to shore, "Cassidy, he's terrified of loosing you. Go to him, we can go to meet with Cassandra."  
  
He nodded his head looking over the other side of the lake now. Dread, fear and everything else went through him grabbing Trigger's reigns when he jogged over to him, tugging on them for the horse to move. The horse pushed on his backside to move faster, void, as if he could right now feeling like jelly. Cassidy just let the horse go when it ran off ahead, spotting Lyna laying on the ground with the two mabari.

Sarge came running up to him, Cassidy scooped the cat up seeing Alex standing there watching several men practicing.  
  
"Alex," he panted once again almost tripping on his boots, "Void, Alex."  
  
"Thats Blackwall," Alex spoke out monotone, "He ain't wearing proper Warden armour, Herald."  
  
Herald? No, Cass, no Cassidy. Just- The pang almost drove him in two when Alex wouldn't look at him, pointing to the man with the bushy beard. Sarge crawled into his coat pocket when the man in question spotted them standing there.  
  
"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?"  
  
"Who are you? How'd you know my name?"  
  
Cassidy put his hand up to the man, "Inquisition, Warden."  
  
Alex just vanished into the shadows right next to him, grass barely parted when he ran past at the group of bandits cresting the rise. Void take it all. Blackwall looked between him, then to the bandits, ordering the men with shoddy weapons to attack. But no-one got to do anything when the bandits just dropped dead, blood pouring out everywhere when Alex came back out the shadows re-sheathing the daggers on his back. The man motioned with his head at the man gaping at him.  
  
"Go rummage around in their pockets, looks like you lot can do with that shit," Alex dipped his head at Blackwall, "Sorry, not in the mood for bullshit right now."  
  
"Mind explaining who the fuck you are first?" Blackwall scowled.  
  
"So-sorry. I'm Cassidy Trevelyan, they call me the Herald of Andraste. Tho-though I would prefer they didn't. We, wanted to know where your fellow Wardens have gone."  
  
Blackwall looked between them both, his shoulders slumped running a hand through his beard, "If your asking me, then you don't know. I've been on my own for years now, got no fucking idea where any of them are."  
  
"Bullshit! Wardens travel in pairs, always have done," Alex spat at the man, "And your on your own in pieced together armour?"  
  
"And how the fuck do you know that.. er?"  
  
"Alex fucking Knight, Blackwall. Champion of the fucking People, friends of Nathaniel Howe, Alistair Theirin, Aveline Vallen, and countless other fucking Wardens who are missing. Where as," Alex lowered his head, "your still here."  
  
Blackwall, just backed off a few steps from them both, "Fucking void, your him? Shit, what you did took fucking guts, mate. I dunno where they are. As I said I've been on my own for years now, recruiting. My, um, partner was killed during the infighting. Lost some of my shit then."  
  
"Oh. But, why here of all places?" Cassidy was feeling something was very off here, he could tell Alex was as well.  
  
"Was helping farmers who got wronged by those bandits he killed. I recruited them to fight back," Blackwall shrugged, "Look, your here because you dunno where they went, which means you think they did something else, right?"  
  
Cassidy nodded. Alex's face fell slightly when he looked away, "Yeah. The Calling maybe. The Divine's death too."  
  
"Are you fucking serious? Wardens would never do that, they inspire to make you a better person, they-"  
  
"They do what they fucking want. Like trying to kill you," Alex spat, "Summon ancient fucking Magisters, use Blood Magic, twist every fucking thing you thought they were. My friends, the ones I fucking trust do NOTHING like that unlike the rest of them. And now- now their gone."

  
Blackwall just lowered both his head and gaze to the ground, Cassidy sighed walking away from them both. This was getting them no-where, and he really needed to speak with Alex, like right now when the man caught up to him.  
  
"He's wasn't a Warden, was he," he muttered, stroking Sarge in his pocket.  
  
"No, he wasn't. I dunno who the fuck he is, but he ain't."  
  
Cassidy chewed his lip when he stopped by Trigger, then lent his head on the horses, "Alex, we, need to talk."  
  
"We need to go to Redcliffe, get the mages away-"  
  
"Alex, we need to talk right now. We're not leaving until we do."  
  
"That an order, Herald?" Alex snarked at him.  
  
Cassidy pushed away from Trigger rounding on the other man, pushing his gauntleted finger into his chest, "Yes, it was. I refused Valor of Loves offer, Alex. Solas then tells me your still terrified in loosing me? Then you act like a bastard to me again? Why? Tell me why? I, I want to bloody well know whats going on!"  
  
Alex clamped his eyes tight when he looked away, "Because I can't decide if I feel for you, or because you look like Cassidy. The moment I let you fucking in, when I said don't, your gonna see how much fucking dirt I actually am. If I fucking loose you," he sucked in a deep breath when he looked back at Cassidy, "for whatever God damn reason, when I never wanted to have anything to do with anyone again. It's going to kill me. I can't take any more of that shit. I really can't."  
  
"I'm not him, Alex. I, I would never hurt you," Cassidy felt tears well up in his eyes when he backed off, "But your hurting me. This, this was a bad idea. We-" he bit his lip readying to climb on Trigger, "We, should go to Redcliffe. We have work to do, Banal'ras."  
  
"As you say. Herald."  
  
And that, that right there, drove the pang in two when he rode away.


	11. Call & Response.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redcliffe and the Mages get the help they need. Alex gets to see another old friend, and one who's changed.

Alex eyed the tear warily, then the odd magic circling around its base. The same odd feeling came from them just like the shit from Fiona. The two Templars edged up next to him, Orran cocked his head putting his hand out little trickles of purple rolled about in his hand.  
  
"I'd stand back, Ser. Don't fucking know what will happen when we do this."  
  
"Orran, you do the Smite, I'll do the Cleanse. On my count," David put his sword right out in-front of him, "Three, two... NOW!" he slammed it down sending his Cleanse the same time as his brothers Smite.  
  
Nothing happened. The tear just heaved doing nothing either. They did it one more time, but the swirling circles just spread out a fraction instead. Everyone looked at each backing off several paces away. Alex spotted several Inquisition scouts on the other side of the gate, keeping others back when the tear sparked wildly slamming shit into the ground.  
  
"Oh, shit!" Alex whipped the daggers from his back feeling the tell tale signs of, "TERRORS!"  
  
Barely anyone got their weapons ready when the bloody bastards just sprung up from the ground, knocking Varric flat on his back when on jumped on him. Solas grit his teeth hard just sticking his palms out, keeping several pinned to the ground as Alex just vanished along with Cole among them all.  
  
The two Templars and poor Cassandra were caught in a Terrors grip, standing stiff and scared when it screeched sending fear right through them. Alex slit one of the Terrors necks, which just pissed it off even more swiping out to grab him. He rolled out the way right into one of the swirling magics, feeling it ripple through him watching everyone beyond move in slow motion.  
  
The fucking hell? No, wait, he watched through the mist at the slow fight happening, pulling several throwing knives from his back. He smirked aiming them at the Terrors heads, then lets loose before rolling away from the magic. They all hit home, giving everyone else an opening to take them down when he ran up behind the one keeping Cassandra held in fear. Alex quickly eyed Cassidy keeping his dogs and Lyna at bay, then looked away.  
  
Was for the best, when he drove his daggers in deep to the Terrors belly. He didn't need any more God damn fucking hurt, trials and tribulations right now, slicing through arms and legs, he didn't need any fucking thing right now. He should of just left well enough alone. He could see Cole's face drop feeling his emotions, but brushed the whole lot away. He didn't fucking well care.  
  
Green tendrils went through the tear to stop anything else from coming out, then snapped it closed. Good, now they can go get the fucking mages.  
  
"Alex, your hurting-"  
  
"Cole, fucking stop," he spat at the boy, "Just leave it alone."  
  
"But," the boys lip quivered tugging on his hat over his head, "but, your hurting yourself! Your hurting, hating, fearing. I thought I helped, helped the hurt, stopped the- I- I-"  
  
Alex just threw his daggers into the ground, grabbing Cole by his shoulders, "Calm down. Just leave it alone, you can't fucking help with this, kay. So don't."  
  
"You want to forget. I, I can help you to forget, if you want me too. You won't remember," Cole lowered his lyrium blue eyes to the ground tugging on his hat even more, "There will be no more hurt, fear, pain, nothing."  
  
"Be no point. I'm already dead inside, Cole. So just leave it alone. Go help Solas with Cassandra and the Templars. I gotta check on Snoopy," he lets the boys shoulders go picking his weapons up from the ground, "and the Herald."  
  
Varric, just glared at him when he went to help, he shrugged him off getting himself up off the floor. Alex slumped his shoulders biting the inside of his cheek going to Cassidy and his dogs instead. The younger man wouldn't even look at him, which was for the best anyway. So, he just walked in silence to the gates instead, his dogs bumping his legs feeling his pain, even Lyna huffed in his ear at it all.  
  
"I know. Talk later, kay," he mumbled to her, running his hand over her nose, "Keep close with Trigger, we dunno what the fuck waits for us in there after that shit."  
  
"Mages in dire need thats what," Cassidy spoke out tersely, "I, I can see them from here. Void sake, I can see children in rags as much as I was."  
  
One of the scouts stopped them all going in through the gates, "Lord Herald. We've been stuck on this side for days now. Thank the Maker you finally came, but you should know," the man shook his head, "No-one was expecting us at all. We've seen no sign of Grand Enchanter Fiona either."  
  
"But, we were expected? Ho-how can no-one know when your here as well?" Cassidy frowned.  
  
"We don't know, Herald. There are several Magisters here, one in particular wants to meet you in person. He's waiting in the tavern, but I think its a trap."

  
  
Alex breathed out slowly through his nose looking down the hill, "Then we should fucking see if it is then. Then I'll gut every Magister I see afterwards. Go send a message to Leliana, Serah, tell her Warden Blackwall wasn't a Warden, and these bastards are in for one hell of a surprise."  
  
"Aye, Ser. Oh, one more thing," the scout looked over his shoulder, "There was someone asking for you, specifically. They said you'll know what I mean when I say, 'Sparklight.'"  
  
The scout just shrugged at him when he walked away, but Alex's face dropped to the ground pushing past everyone taking Varric's hand in his. The dwarf snatched it away glaring at him. Well shit, he's gone and pissed his best fucking friend off with his bullshit. Wasn't surprised when he ran down the slope with Trouble and Major, Sarge on the grey mabari's back.  
  
Fucking hell, there were so many mages with half starved faces looking at him running. So many of them in bits of cloth barely covering them, even the little ones huddled together against walls, shivering. God fucking dammit he did this to them. He fucking did this to all of them nearly colliding with several older mages.  
  
"ALEX!" the voice he knows well shouts at him from somewhere to the left, "Fasta Vass, get up here."  
  
"Dorian, you stupid bastard! What the fucking hell are you doing here?" he ran up the steps to the man coming right at him, who practically picked him up twirling him around in a circle, "Ugh, really?"  
  
"Besides looking fabulous? Trying to hide," Dorian snorted letting him go, "In a slight pickle right now. Venhedis, I've been trying to help them all, but with little aid and keeping a low profile. Not much I can do."  
  
"You, a low profile? In that outfit, yeah sure," Alex flapped a hand over the other man, "Seriously, what are you doing here? You know about that shitty magic right outside the gates?"  
  
Dorian dragged in inside one of empty wooden homes, "Yes I do. But not right now. I'm here because Alexius is here with Felix, he wants the Herald for some reason. I can't go too much into right now, but it's not good."  
  
"So, you asked for me by name, only to not say a fucking thing? The hell Dorian!"  
  
"I know this looks bad," the man huffed, "Well it is bad, but- Okay okay, stop glaring at me, its unnerving. You can't let the Herald know I'm here right now, if Alexius catches wind of anything while you meet with Fiona, my entire cover will be blown."  
  
Alex paced around the small room then slammed the door shut, slumping against it, "Shit. Dorian, whats going on? I thought you two were on good terms when I last saw you. Is-" his eyes go wide pushing away from the door, "is Felix alright? Gimme something here Sparklight!"  
  
"We were, but not any more. Felix is getting worse by the day and he doesn't want to see it. After you two left, it went from bad to worse," Dorian put his hands in Alex's shoulders, "We tried to find out more on the cure, then, then he- Fasta Vass, Alexius just gave up on trying to help anyone else, devoting his time on Felix and Maker know what else as well."  
  
"Do the powders work? Fuck, tell me they do something!" Alex felt tears well up in his eyes when Dorian nodded softly, "Oh God. How, how well?"  
  
"Not enough do to much, I'm afraid. Just barely slow anything down. Even if they would of helped with Anders, the Taint still would of gotten to him a few months to a year down the line, Alex. I'm sorry."  
  
He just shrugged under the dusky hands, "Was worth a try, right. Not much we can do now about it what with every Warden poofing into thin air. Shit, I'm sorry about Felix, even if the fucking Wardens were an option right now-" Alex sighs heavily when they put their foreheads together, "I'd better go before that lot out there wonder where the fuck I went."  
  
"Stay safe, my friend. Alexius might not be happy to see you again. Oh, and try not to die, be a terrible waste of manhood right there," Dorian snorted before slipping out the door, leaving him standing there feeling like shit again.

* * *

  
He watched Alex fidget with his jacket, he watched him brush the hair from his face walking towards this tavern. He watched him not say a word to any of them when he found them waiting for him. Cassidy chewed his bottom lip pushing the door open, seeing more mages inside the place. But in a little better condition then the ones on the outside. He wanted to say something to Alex, but he didn't walking through the tavern.  
  
Fiona spotted them, he dipped his head at her when she came over, "Can we help you?"  
  
"Um, Inquisition, Grand Enchanter. You, you asked for us to come in Val Royeaux?" Cassidy felt unease go through him when she just blinked looking stumped.  
  
"I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave. I, have never met you before either. Something very strange is going on."  
  
"Yeah no shit. The Fiona we met had magic about her, you don't. The same fucking magic outside of Redcliffe," Alex stepped back, looked at Solas who just shook his head.  
  
The woman wrung the sleeves between her hands, "I, I suppose magic could of been a factor here. But, I'm afraid you've wasted your time in coming. The remaining mages have pledged themselves to Tevinter."  
  
Cassidy felt his heart sink again, felt everything fall away when he put both his hands out to her, "You've made a huge mistake. Yo-you can't do this to them, please! Void, please reconsider this, please."  
  
"Ahhh, I see our friends are here. Welcome to Redcliffe," a man walked through the tavern with another in tow, smiling wide when he stops right in-front of Cassidy, "The one they call the Herald of Andraste. Yes... how intriguing. I am Magister Gereon Alexius, my son Felix. Shall we discuss-" Alexius narrows his eyes up looking behind him, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I work with the Inquisition, Alexius. I could ask you the same fucking question. Good to see you again, Felix," Alex's deep voice spoke.  
  
Felix smiled dipping his head, "You as well, Alex. Its been a few years, I like that hair cut much better then the one you used to have."  
  
Cassidy frowned when hands were shook, he noticed something being passed off to Alex, who just smiled back the thing vanishing before he could see it properly. Alexius wrinkled his nose up walking over to a table, tapping it while he sat. Cassidy joined him against his better judgement.  
  
"Now, shall we discuss terms on allowing my mages to, aid, the Inquisition?"  
  
"I, I want them all to come with us, to, to close the Breach. But, why do I have to go through you, when the Grand Enchanter-"  
  
Alexius waved him off, "She and all the mages here are under the Imperium's dictatoris now. You go through me, and I, go through the Magisterium. So, are we to discuss terms or not?"  
  
"No, I, I won't deal with you," Cassidy got up out of his chair. He was about to leave when Felix collapsed onto the floor shaking.  
  
"FELIX! I, I, my friends please excuse me. Fiona, help me," the Magister ran over to the boy, pulling him from the ground then out. Fiona's eyes went downcast following them both out with several others, leaving the tavern almost empty. Alex was passing a note off to Cassandra, then spoke quietly to the only Tranquil he's seen in months now.  
  
The Tranquil tilted his head agreeing to something, then left as well.  
  
"We gotta go to the Chantry. Someones gonna meet us there," Alex pulled the hidden piece from his pocket handing it to him, "Felix distracted Alexius for us."  
  
"Wheres Cole?" he skimmed the message.  
  
"Gone to the castle, checking to see if both Teagan and Connor's there. Plus, doing his usual sneaking about while we deal with this. Oh," Alex looked over his shoulder at them all, "I just recruited Clemence, the only Tranquil right now. He's going to Haven with Snoopy, Orran and David, who's quietly taking the magelings out from right under Alexius's nose. They found their sister too."  
  
"Then shall we proceed to the Chantry. I do not think we need anyone else then the four of us right now," Cassandra smirked, "Good work on all sides."  
  
Cassidy didn't know what to say right now when they left. Alex, did so much behind his back without half of them knowing what was going on. Which made him wonder how. Was he always like this? Void, he didn't know what to think when they ran through the mages there. He didn't recognise a single face among the small number at all, he didn't see any he knew from Ostwick or Kinloch. Just, half starved, ragged looking people who desperately needed help. And he could of been among them if he never went to the Conclave.  
  
Alex waved for his dogs to wait outside, to keep watch so no-one disturbs them. The older man pushed the doors to the Chantry open, a familiar green light seeped through the doors, and so did the tug of the strange magic from within. He blinked his eyes at a man in plush red clothing fighting off twisted under the tear. The man looked over at them and grinned.  
  
"About time you showed up. Mind terribly helping me with this?" he winked.  
  
Oh. Cassidy certainly didn't blush a little, keeping his distance when everyone else helped the strange man. He watched the man slam his staff down as black and purple snaked across the ground, several Shades getting caught within its grasp. The Shades flung their hands up in the air, screeching as they shook. Alex barked a loud laugh nudging the stranger on his arm before he vanished.  
  
He watched them all fight from the back of the Chantry, closing the doors so no-one else can see. Solas put a shield over them all when more came through the tear, the elf sending out snaps of cold so Cassandra can smash the frozen twisted. But his eyes never left Alex when the man reappeared, rolling out the way of a Wraith before driving his daggers in deep.  
  
Void, what was he going to do now with these stupid feelings, this stupid pang that wouldn't leave him when he snapped the tear shut. No, he needed to brush them all aside like he should of done the first time, instead of letting curiosity get the better of him.  
  
"So, how does that work exactly?" the stranger walked up to him, "You don't even know do you. Just, snap your fingers and poof its all gone."

  
"Dorian, really? Stop being fucking snobby. Better introduce yourself before people get all squirmy," Alex snickered right next to him.  
  
"OH! Your right, wheres my manners? Dorian of House Pavus, formally of Minrathous circle. Friend of Alex," the man winked again.  
  
Cassandra just scoffed loudly, flapping her hand at Dorian, "Another Magister? Be careful Herald. Even if Knight does know him."  
  
"Uh, thats a little rude. Okay, lets get this over and done with. Yes," Dorian sighed rolling his eyes, "I'm from Tevinter, but doesn't make me a Magister. I'm an Altus, big difference there. Fasta Vass, such suspicious friends you have, Alex. But anyway," the man flapped his own hand, "you noticed the strange magic around us, outside Redcliffe? Its time magic, one I helped create."  
  
Solas stumbled over his two feet in shook, "Pala, are you serious? If this is true, its unprecedented in its creation!"  
  
"Unfortunately, yes. Alexius has somehow, somewhere splintered it with his fumbling. See, this is what my countrymen get for playing with magic they don't understand. I helped create it but not for this reason- Oh... Alex... stop looking at me like that."  
  
"You stupid son of a bitch. THIS is what you wouldn't fucking tell me?"  
  
"Alex, don't blame Dorian. Father did it for me," everyone turned to the side door as Felix ran through it, "Venhedis, he nearly didn't let me go this time. But father did it for me, for the Taint. He was trying to slow it down somehow. He wouldn't listen when I said I was prepared to die."  
  
Cassidy looked between them all, his mind couldn't cope with whats going on around him right now. So, he backed off a few steps, then another few away from them all talking. Hearing words like Venatori, obsessed with him, wanting him alive. He dug the tips of his gauntlets into his palms when he started to panic. He dug them in deep backing out from the Chantry, until a hand grabbed him, stopping him from doing so.  
  
"I wouldn't."  
  
"Let. Me. Go," he yanked his arm free backing away from Alex looking at him, "Just, just leave me alone. I, I, I can't deal with any of this. Just-"  
  
Alex stepped back several paces away from him with his hands up, "I'll get Cassandra then."  
  
He ignored the other man stumbling down the Chantry steps, his heart racing inside his chest when he slumped on the last step. He honest to everything couldn't take any more from anyone, he honestly wished he void well taken died at the Conclave, instead of everyone looking to him for everything. He wished he never laid his eyes on Alex either. He wished the man never came to Haven in the first place.  
  
Cassidy sobbed hard into his gauntleted hands as someone sat next to him, the touch of spirit soothing him.  
  
"He will go if you ask him to. But, not yet. We have to go into the castle," Cole softly spoke, "Magic twisting turning around itself in there, its loud. Too loud for me to see."  
  
"I, I can't do this any more," he choked out to the boy, "I can't."  
  
"You can. Just one more push. One on one on one, then they will listen again. Let me help you, I can help you forget."  
  
Cassidy sucked in a deep breath lowering his gauntlets from his face, "No, I don't want to forget. I, we, I have work to do, Cole. Le-lets just go to the castle."  
  
"Follow me," Cole smiled softly, "I know a way inside. I killed the killers who wanted to kill you. Hope that helps."

* * *

  
The entire place was silent around them, hastily hurrying through tunnels to the throne room. All of them could feel the strange tug of the time magic around them, all of them saw more mages suffering behind these walls. They all saw Cole's handy work on the way up through the Grand Hall.  
  
Cassandra stayed behind with Cole to ferry more mages out without Alexius knowing. The magelings were already gone with the others, but void, he just wanted this over and done with so he could tell Alex to leave. He had to, he just had to when the throne room door was flung open by Solas. Several of these Venatori stepped forward blocking their path forward.  
  
"Herald, we were not expecting you?" a voice mumbled from behind the tall Tevinters, "Hmmph, allow him to pass. The others need to remain here."  
  
"No, we all go. They are here as my protection," Cassidy stepped up trying to be as brave as he thought he looked, which he really wasn't at all, "If they can't-"  
  
"Fine, fine. Follow me, Herald."  
  
This, was going too easy right now. Far too easy as they were guided up the throne rooms steps. Alexius was sitting in a deep backed chair, Felix to one side dipping his head at them all. But the Magister couldn't be bothered to look at them as they stood before him. Cassidy looked over at Solas, who shrugged the same time as shaking his head. He looked to Alex, who just stepped forward a few steps, snapping his fingers at Alexius.  
  
"Better wake up, we're not leaving without the fucking mages."  
  
"Pah, I already know you've taken some of them from the Imperium, Alex. You really think I wouldn't know?" Alexius scoffed.  
  
"Father, please. They know the whole thing was a trap."  
  
"Felix," the Magister slowly rose from his seat, "What have you done?"  
  
And right on queue, Dorian strode forth to be with them, "What any good son does against their bloody father."  
  
"Dorian, I should of known. Is this what I get, hmm? Is this what I get for every effort I put into everything to save my own son," the man spat thundering down the steps, "Is this what I get? You were a MISTAKE!" he spat again pointing at Cassidy, "You took EVERYTHING from him."  
  
"Father, Venhedis, listen to yourself. They known everything, the Venatori, the Time magic, everything."  
  
Cassidy sighed stepping forward too, "Ho-how was I mistake when I don't even know what was meant to happen?"  
  
"The Elder One was supposed to live again, bring Tevinter to glory once more. And you TOOK it from him. And now," Alexius smirked, "I will remove your chance of succeeding, Herald. He will rise, where you will fall."

  
"Listen to yourself, Alexius! You were like a father to me, you mentored me, you helped Alex try and find the cure! Just who is this Elder One, Alexius, some random Magister grabbing at power as usual?" Dorian stabbed the air, "Some, pathetic Magister flailing in the wind?"  
  
"No, he is our God."  
  
The Magister pulled an amulet from his pocket, Dorian's eyes go huge when it lifted from the mans hands into the air. He tried to grab it when it went off, Cassidy sent a fireball towards it out of fear.  
  
A bright flash blinded him feeling his whole body being ripped through something. He clamped his eyes shut tight trying to back away, but all he feels is water when he lands face first into it, passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations - 
> 
> Dictatoris- Dictatorship/Rule (Loosly done with latin)  
> Pala - Fuck.
> 
> Source Direct - Call & Response - https://youtu.be/YRn-y3xOt1I


	12. Black Hole Sun.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dark Future, one no-one wants to happen. Cass and Alex... finally fall together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Body/Bloody Horror, Sex.
> 
> Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun - https://youtu.be/3mbBbFH9fAg
> 
> (Edit note -) I managed to redo the Redcliffe screens, ugh, not happy I lost so much thanks to PC being a dick. But I got two done.

To say he was scared stiff even more then he normally is, was an understatement. To say he didn't want to be here, was even more of an understatement. To say he hated looking in the former Grand Enchanter's Red lyrium eyes, was an understatement.  
  
"A-a year! We've misses an entire YEAR!" dread flooded through him when the woman nodded, "Void. Dorian, what are we going to do?"  
  
"Find the amulet with luck. If we can reverse time, we can go back to the same point before we left. Though," Dorian shrugged, "it could also turn us into paste."  
  
"Thats, not reassuring at all," Cassidy's shoulders slumped, "Fiona, is, is anyone else here?"  
  
She barely nodded around the lyrium growing through her, "Yes. Your Spymaster is here along with others. Herald, do what you can, stop this madness. You must. Theres nothing you can do for me any more. Go."  
  
He really, really wanted to leave, like right now when they left her behind. He really, really wanted to go back to his time going past more Red lyrium. At least he wasn't alone, and thank everything for that. Even if the other man was, odd.  
  
If Leliana was here, then she could help him, help them get out of here. If they could find her that is.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
He slumped his shoulders, "No. I, I feel like everything is a joke right now. That I'm going to wake up from this nightmare. I, I don't know what to do."  
  
Dorian stopped them in the middle of the hallway, then sighed shaking his head, "Your not just talking about being the Herald right now, are you. I'm not blind."  
  
"Yes- no- I mean, yes. Its too much sometimes, I know theres going to be a lot more ahead of me. But, but I thought," he sniffed, "I thought Alex and me- He would- I don't understand. Have you and him-?"  
  
"Fasta Vass, no. He's a friend nothing more. Besides," Dorian tugged in his arm to move again, "he and Anders were together at that point when we first met. Alex has been through the void and back, and he's still standing? I can't wrap my head around that at all. But as for you, is this your first?"  
  
Cassidy nodded, "Yes, and no."  
  
"Ahh. Your conflicted, I get that. Look, no-one can tell you who you should be with, how you should feel. Nothing. Only you can decide on that."  
  
"More then conflicted, Dorian. I, I don't know how to feel about it. One moment he's fine," he sniffed again going down a set of steps, "the-then its nothing? I, don't understand."  
  
Dorian put a hand on his shoulder, "I know theres a but in there somewhere. But we have someone ahead of us right now. Perhaps when we leave this forsaken place, we can talk more, hmm."  
  
He nodded mutely at the other man, he then frowned at the gentle singing on the other side. A dusty voice singing a song he's never heard of before when he pushed the door open. Cassidy's eyes go wide at Solas behind bars with Varric on the other side humming along to the song.  
  
"Cassidy? Is that you?" Solas grabbed the prison bars with wide eyes, "We saw you die!"

  
  
"KID! Maferaths nutsack, I'm I glad to see you."  
  
Red lyrium swirled around the pair of them gaping at him. Red lyrium was poking out through the walls behind the two men when Dorian broke the locks with his staff. Cassidy wanted to hug both of them tight, but refrained from even touching them. Void, he wanted someone to hold him tight right now, telling him this is nothing but a dream, that he would wake up with bright sunlight on his face when they all set off together.  
  
He wanted-  
  
"Kid, theres something you gotta know," Varric puffed beside him, "When the Elder One came, he took everyone. He took them all."  
  
"Most are dead, Cassidy. Leliana is still alive somewhere here, along with-" Solas looked pained when Varric took his hand, "Most were forced to join, others were killed, butchered beyond compare. They twisted everything for them."  
  
"Oh. Is- is Alex-"  
  
"Kid, don't. You don't wanna know."  
  
Well that just sent even more dread through him with that. Was he dead? What about- what about Trouble, Major, Sarge and Lyna. Were they dead too? Void, tears pricked his eyes going to another set of cells. Cassandra babbled on about him returning to them like Andraste did, Cullen, void, he was twitching while he walked with them. Little red crystal were formed at the corners of his mouth, which he licked and grinned every time he did it. Humming under his breath at his beautiful song in him again.  
  
Cassidy wanted to be sick when he watched Cullen snap Red lyrium from Cassandra's neck, then sucked on it like it was the best thing in the world. Cassandra ran her fingers smiling the entire time, over the juts from her skin humming herself.  
  
Where was Sijon and Kessie? Please tell him there not the ones who died. Oh void, he couldn't take any more of this, he really couldn't.  
  
"Prepare yourselves, the Elder One watches everything," Solas points towards a huge set of double doors, "It won't take him long to know your here."  
  
"Whe-wheres Leliana?"  
  
Varric sucked in a deep breath, "With him."  
  
"Him who? The Elder One?" Cassidy's dread plummeted up into the sky when they went outside, his mouth fell open at the fade everywhere around them, "Oh my shit!"  
  
"Without you there to stop him, the Elder One ripped the veil open, twisting the already twisted. Forcing good spirits to abide to his will. There was nothing anyone could do to stop him," Solas shuddered a breath, "Demons marched on Orlais, killing the Empress. They were no longer what they once were, my friends all of them, were demons killing everything in their path."  
  
"He died, came back, died, came back, died," Cullen grinned scratching his arms raw, "His side, our side, my side, your side, mine, yours mine, mine, mmmmiiiine!"  
  
He watched in horror when Cassandra grabbed Cullen's arm, then started licking all the way over the Red lyrium being scratched through under his skin. Blood trickled down the Commander's wrists when her tongue catches, himself taking more crystal's from her neck biting hard on them, chipping his already broken teeth. Cassidy vomited on the ground as Varric took a chunk out of Solas side, right were more Red lyrium grew, the elf not even caring as he sung a gentle song.  
  
"Kaffas, this is- this is a nightmare! Hold on, I have Elfroot. I hope."  
  
He would nod if he wasn't vomiting everywhere. Dorian moved his hair out the way, pushing the orange liquid into his hands, "I know, I know. We have to fine Alexius, we, Kaffas, we have to stop this madness somehow."  
  
Cassidy drank the entire bottle down when he finally stopped, he drank everything feeling the numbness against his tongue, dropping the bottle on the ground. He staggered like a drunkard away from everyone, his magic sparking over his fingers because he was terrified. It sparked from the mark in his hand too, sending little jolts of electricity into the ground. He clamped his eyes shut when Dorian took his arm, guiding him out the courtyard they ran through several hours before. It was beautiful before. Not any more. It was twisted into darkness.  
  
Everything was twisted into darkness, not like how the fade should be at all.  
  
More darkness followed them going back inside, with Cassandra still licking Cullen's arm. With Varric wiping the blood from his mouth, grinning up at him.  
  
More horror greeted them inside with bodies strewn about on the ground, hung up on rafters with little to no skin. More lyrium growing from them when he looked. Little crystal's grew under them too, from the blood that dripped onto the ground.  
  
His magic went off in a tangent when he screamed out loud, realising who one of the bodies were up there. Sijon, was half flayed, her feet tied up on the rafter, her face etched in a permanent fear looking at him with lyrium growing from her eyes. He screamed again when he dropped to his knees at the other bodies too. Josephine, Sera, Vivienne, all hung up there half flayed like garish puppets.  
  
"My, my, it seems you survived after all, Cassidy," a feminine voice chuckled from the shadows, "Oh, this will be most fun."  
  
"And who are you?" Dorian spat, "This, this is butchery!"  
  
The voice laughed hard coming from the shadows, her skin was pale, her eyes as dark as the night, strutting towards them all in tight black leather, "No, this is our freedom. THIS, is what our God gave to us. Oh, poor little Trevelyan, kneeling on the floor like a blubbering child, no. You should of died, he should of killed you. But he paid for that little mistake."  
  
Leliana smirked at them all, "I think you should meet our new... Herald."  
  
Varric started to both back off and giggle at the same time, clapping his hands like a child would in glee. Solas smiled softly following the woman like a lost puppy. But Cassidy still knelt on the ground, the tips of his gauntlets digging hard into his thighs watching them all go through the huge set of doors. Cullen still raving like a mad man, Cassandra licking her lips free of blood and Red lyrium.  
  
He wanted to vomit again, but didn't when Dorian pulled him up off the ground. But by the void he wanted to.  
  
Veil fire gave the throne room a eerily glow, stretched shadows longer then they should be everywhere. The deep backed chair had someone sitting in it in shadows. Two huge creatures sat on either side, growling low in their throat, the head of a beautiful Halla graced the wall over the fireplace. Cassidy choked back on his sob at Lyna's head right there, in pride of place over the chair, over the darkened figure sitting in it.  
  
"My Lord, we have guests," Leliana chuckled running her hands over- Oh VOID, was that Major? Then-  
  
"Seems you survived after all," the shadowed figure snapped their fingers, veil fire lit up the torches around the room illuminating-  
  
"Felix! What in the Makers name?"  
  
Felix snorted sitting forward in his chair, "Oh Dorian, you never change do you. Father couldn't do one job could he. So 'I' took over when the Elder One gave me a choice. I am his new Herald now, I am the one who rules with him. With our God. I. Am. Blessed."  
  
The man rose from the chair, thats when Cassidy noticed the chain around his wrist. Felix tugged hard on it, pulling on something from behind the throne. His legs almost gave out when he saw who it was chained like an animal, the collar around his neck when he snarled like a feral beast at them all behind a muzzle.  
  
"Kaffas, what have you done Felix! What in the name of everything have you DONE!"  
  
"Oh him? He was far too wild to tame when you supposedly died," Felix tugged on the chain again forcing the half naked man on all fours, still snarling wildly at them all, "So, the Elder One gave him what he needed. His animal instincts. The beast he truly is, isn't that right my pet."  
  
Solas ran up to the chained and muzzled Alex, running his hand over the man's longer hair that almost covered his face, "Ina'lan'ehn fen. Tamahn ma ane ma' falon. Ma' ina'lan'ehn fen."  
  
"Yes yes, speak your elvish rubbish. Pathetic. But nonetheless, now that your here, both of you. I can finish what father never could," the chain dropped to the floor, releasing Alex from his binds, Leliana ducked down then slipped into the shadows, "I get to kill you finally."  
  
Cassidy watched in horror again when Alex ripped the muzzle from his face, his eyes glinted in the veil fire like a wolfs when he ripped Solas' neck out with his teeth. Varric jumped up and down again like a child, clapping manically at the display, grinning the whole time when Alex pounced on him. Dorian twirled his staff around his body, fire blazed along the floor right at Felix, who just snapped his fingers binding the pair of them there.  
  
"Nah ah, you don't get to play."  
  
The hulking mabari's of Trouble and Major slunk down the steps to them, Alex, he could see out the corner of his eyes, rolled off the dead body of Varric. The three of them nuzzled each other, before the man with the pale fade green, cat like eyes cocked his head at Cassidy. He whined, the man actually whined looking at him, then over his shoulder at Felix. Alex growled deep in his throat, dipping his head low before he jumped forward right on-top of Felix.  
  
"STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO STO-" Felix screamed in pain as Alex just tore into his neck, the two mabari pinning his arms down tearing chunks of flesh right off them.  
  
"Fasta Vass!" Dorian broke free from the bonds first, "Cassidy, help him while I deal with the other one."  
  
He just clamped his eyes shut, shaking, putting his hand out sending a cold snap right at Felix writhing in agony on the floor. He kept them clamped feeling the fade rip right through him, the electricity sparking out from his marked hand again into everything around him. He kept them closed when he felt something bump both his legs.  
  
Hands touched his face, brushing his sweat soaked hair from his tear stained cheeks. Warmth touched his lips, then down his chin, the tang of blood on warm breath made his entire skin goosebump when he slightly parted his eyes.  
  
His breath hitched with Alex tilting his head, looking at him with a small smile gracing his face.  
  
"Cass," he whispered brushing his fingers over his lips again, "Real."  
  
"I, I, I'm real," his breath hitched again, "Your not though."  
  
"Ist no real. I ist no real gain. Brokeh gain," Cassidy wanted to cry out at the broken speech, at the man cupping his face in awe, "Ist you, gain. Real. Cass."  
  
He clamped his eyes shut when he spoke again, "Yo-your not real. This, none of this is real. We- we need the amulet, Alex."  
  
The man grinned lowering his head, tapping his chest when he backed off, "Ist get. Ist good fen."  
  
Cassandra and Cullen, when he looked over his shoulder to the huge doors, were trying to keep it closed. The sound of something fly over head, roared loudly, echoing in every fiber of his being. He swallowed as more fear went right through him, if this was the future, if this is what happens if he dies, if he goes missing, if he lets Alex stay when he looks back at the man pushing his dogs away from Felix's half eaten corpse. The older man turns into a feral beast? Did he break because Cassidy wasn't there? He was now even more conflicted in what to do in letting the man stay, or go.  
  
The amulet was thrown at Dorian, Alex running past them to the doors to help the other two keep them sealed.  
  
"We have little time. Venhedis, time," Dorian weakly chuckled by the throne, "Lets hope that lot can keep whatevers coming away from us. Stay by me no matter what happens. If you move we die, simple as that."  
  
Cassidy's legs wanted to give out standing with Dorian, they wanted to give out when the doors nearly opened, pushing the other three away. Trouble and Major's hulking twisted forms pinned their ears flat against their heads, growling something that would give him nightmare for years. The doors gave way, crushing Cullen under one with a sickening crunch. Dorian grabbed his arm when he went to do something.  
  
"Don't. Move. I said stay there and I mean it!"

  
  
"But-" his lip quivered as twisted just poured in, a pained sound escaped his lips when Cassandra went down next. Tears streamed down his face trying to look away from it all, reaching out with a shaking hand towards Alex fending everything off on his own. The man just tore into everything with his bare hands in rage, vanished then reappearing like the shadow he is killing anything in his own path.  
  
Dorian crowed as the amulet glowed, the thing getting brighter and bright right next to him. But his gaze never left when Alex looked back at him with a sad look on his face, before everything clouded his vision with a whisper on his lips of 'Don't leave me,' when everything swam, changed, hitting the ground hard in-front of the throne with Alexius looking shocked at the pair of them.  
  
"What the-?"  
  
"Your trap failed, Alexius. Couldn't even get that right, could you," Dorian spat, "Makers breath man, I should kill you right now after what we've been through."  
  
Alexius dropped the amulet onto the ground, "I wanted to save my son, Dorian. You've won."  
  
"Won? WON! Nothing was won here! No, there was no winning here an any side. Fasta Vass."  
  
Cassidy sobbed hard into the ground as he laid there, he didn't want to move, he didn't want to look up. He didn't want to see any of them right now. Everything he's just seen, all of it, wasn't real, but his mind couldn't understand what was what when a hand gently touched his head. Which just had him sob even harder on the rug under him.  
  
"Cass? The fuck happened?" Alex spoke softly to him, brushing the hair from his face which just made Cassidy cry even more, "Fucking hell, Dorian. What the hell happened?"  
  
"Later. Lets just say, the future, is one I want NEVER to happen at all."

* * *

 

He wrote down as much as he could, he wrote down everything Dorian told him what happened in this fucking future. Red Lyrium growing from people, everyone either dead or converted to this 'Elder Ones' godhood.  
  
That he was some feral mongrel too, under Felix's thumb apparently. That he was once again a broken shell, with a broken fucking mouth.  
  
Alex screwed his eyes shut, slamming his journal shut. If that was the future without Cassidy being around, without the Herald, then what future is there to have. None that he could see.  
  
Shit.  
  
Its been a week now since getting the mages out of Redcliffe. Its been a week now making their own way back to Haven. Its been a week since Cassidy's even spoke to anyone, refusing to say anything about what he's seen, what he went through. Ugh, Alex scrubbed his face drawing his legs up on the boulder, its been over a week since his fucking moronic, dumb, stupid, bullshit brush off too. Yeah, he's not dirt at all.  
  
He slid off the boulder picking his journal back up, and set off for his tent. Not like he could sleep anyway right now, but maybe an hour or two would be better then none. Alex chucked the book in through the flaps, kicking his boots off into it, which hit something on the other side with a squeak.  
  
"The hell?" he roughly pulled a flap back to see Cassidy sheepishly looking up at him from his bedroll, "Er, this ain't your tent."  
  
"I, I know," the younger man blushed scooting over to another bedroll right there, "I, didn't want to sleep on my own. And, well, Dorian snores."  
  
Alex bit his lip ducking under the canvas, pulling the flaps closed in the barely lit tent. He sighed heavily slyly looking over his shoulder, undoing the buttons on his shirt, "Guess you can stay here then."  
  
"Tha-thank you."  
  
Alex shrugged letting the shirt fall away onto his own bedroll, flopping back first onto it before pulling his socks off, "Its fine."  
  
Silence hung in the air around them when his socks went flying into the back of the tent. Silence that was almost deafening when he laid flat out on his bedroll, Cassidy doing the same right next to him. A silence that made him want to scream out into the night about.  
  
Cassidy chewed on his bottom lip looking up at the top beam in the tent, his fingers gently tapping the cloth under him. Void, he wanted to say something right now just to fill the silence, but all he could think of was, if he did that, he'll let everything just pour out of his stupid mouth. He lets out a quiet sigh, slowly rolling his head to the right side to look at Alex.  
  
Alex slowly rolled his head to the left when he felt eyes on him. Cassidy was searching his face when eyes locked, both of them just laid there looking at each other, both of them felt heat go over their faces. Both of them roll onto their sides so their noses touched.  
  
"I'm sorry," Alex whispered, "Fuck, I, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just fucking scared of loosing everything again."  
  
"I'm sorry too. Void, I hated pushing you away," Cass whispered back, "I hate not having you near me. I, I just- I- I don't want that future to happen. I really don't."  
  
"It won't," Alex ran fingers gently down the younger mans face, "Will never happen."  
  
"I know," Cassidy breathed out slowly against the mans face, his own fingers going over the toned bodies side, "You never gave up on me."  
  
Alex softly smiled carding his hand through black hair, "I'm an idiot because I almost did, almost gave up on myse-"  
  
"Kiss me."  
  
It was a gentle one, the kiss. Two pairs of lips softly touching the others as fingers brush over skin, mapping down arms, tracing each bump and mound under pads. It was a simple thing, the gentleness of it, the delicate way their mouths fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. The way hands mapped warm skin under them to each other backs, holding them in place against each other.  
  
It was the tenderness that Alex craved for so long, when tongue brushed tongue, gently rolling, tasting, feeling the others mouth. The tenderness he's been craving slowly sliding his hand down to the top of Cassidy's waist band, his fingers feeling the curve of the mans hips, his backside when he gently dug his nails in. It was the tenderness Cassidy needed so desperately right now, rolling them both over so he was on-top, slipping his legs between Alex's carding his own hands through brown hair.  
  
Their mouths never left each others, nipping, sucking each others tongues, scraping fingers nails through hair, over the soft flesh under sleep ware. Breath mingled with breath as Alex wrapped his legs around thighs, as Cassidy slowly started to rock his hips against the erection pressing against his own.  
  
"Cass," the older man sighed over his lips, "God, I want you to make love to me right now."  
  
He blushed but never stopped his gentle grind, ghosting his breath on the lips under him, "I, I still-"  
  
"Shhh. Let me show you," Alex sucked on his bottom lip, then swiped his tongue over it before pushing it back into his mouth.  
  
Cassidy felt his pants being pulled down, legs releasing him from their hold, but he never broke the kiss when he knelt between the older mans legs to take them off himself. Alex sighed into the kiss, lifting his hips up to take his off too, then had his hands knocked out the way as Cass slowly took them off him. They both pull back from the kiss, both of their pupils blown wide looking at each other, Alex fumbling around trying to find his fucking backpack for the damn Elfroot.  
  
"This what you looking for," Cassidy chuckled waving another bottle in his face when he sat back an his haunches.  
  
"Sneaky, fucking... Yes."  
  
Alex took the bottle, flipping the lid with his thumb then poured a generous amount over his balls and crack, then took Cass's hand pouring it over his fingers, biting his lip watching the younger mans face when he poured the rest of the bottle over his cock. He spread his legs more, his aching cock laying up on his stomach dribbling pre-cum over it pulling the other mans hand down to his perineum, then to his hole.  
  
"One for now, Cass," he softly said, "Slowly."  
  
Cassidy swallowed as he nodded, he groaned as much as the older man did slipping his finger inside the warm hole, Alex pulling the rest of him down so they could kiss again. Void, this was far different then anything he's ever done, his slick finger slipping in and out of the other man slowly. He groaned again sucking hard on that tongue in mouth, rocking his hips in time with his finger working the other man. Alex sighed gripping hair between his hands, murmuring 'more' over the warm plump lips, then sighed again when another finger slipped inside him.  
  
"Yes," he arched his neck gripping Cass's hair even more in his hands, "Fuck yes."  
  
His mind wanted his hiccup scraping his teeth down Alex's neck, moving his fingers just a little faster inside the man. It wanted to hiccup even more at the soft moans tumbling over the mans lips, his own void taken cock wanting to do something other then rutting against toned thighs. "Alex," he mumbled in the pierced ear, "Void, I want you, please." Was he really begging? Was he actually begging to do this right now?  
  
"God yes. Slowly take them out," Alex whined a little bit as fingers were slipped free, "Fuck. God, just-"  
  
Cass kissed him hard taking his legs in hand, gripping them hard pushing the head of his cock into Alex. He knows how to fuck, he has fucked girls before. But he didn't expect it to feel so different slowly sliding himself inside Alex. He didn't expect the low hard, long moan to come from the man digging his finger nails into his biceps in doing so. His mind fully hiccuped then hilting himself fully, his lips parting as his eyes slipped close to the feeling.  
  
Cassidy took both of his hands in his, pinning them to the bedroll when the younger man rolled his hips, feeling his dang fucking gorgeous cock slid inside him. Alex wrapped both his legs around the gorgeously thick man's thighs, digging his heels in deep moving in time with the mans own thrusts.  
  
God, it feels like too long since he's done this with someone. Far too fucking long arching his back up into the body above him. Cassidy gripped Alex's hands tight in his, resting his forehead on the one under him lengthening his languid strokes.  
  
"Alex-" void, his voice sounded rough and needy, he didn't know how to say anything else as he panted. But lips sought his, the warm wet tongue lathing over them, teeth nipping at them, before slipping back into his panting mouth.  
  
They stayed that way for sometimes, the languid body movements against the other, mouth seeking mouths when they parted for air, only to crash them back together again. Fingers locking against fingers, little beads of sweat rolling over bodies, down brows, onto the bedroll underneath. Little sparks of magic dancing from the mark into the palm pressed against it. Soft moans and grunts of pleasure drifted off up into the tent, out into the nights sky.  
  
Alex rolled them over at one point, which surprised Cassidy no end as the man just rode on his cock with his head thrown back. His own finger nails ran down the older mans back, once again, leaving a trail down it with the mark, which just made Alex moan harshly sinking down even harder on him, digging his nails deep into Cassidy's chest.  
  
Pale green eyes met his amethyst ones when he opened them, which almost sent him over the edge when he dragged his nails down hard, no doubt going to leave welts behind with how hard he did it too. Alex growled low in the back of throat arching his back, feeling himself get tighter and tighter, his skin goosebumping feeling those nails sink in deep. He wanted to scream out when he came all over Cassidy's chest, he wanted to scream again feeling the younger mans pace stutter when he came too.  
  
Lips crashed against lips once more, hands seeking hair when they rolled onto their sides, gripping it tight panting hard as tongue graced tongue.  
  
Cassidy was the one to pull back first, murmuring, "I love you," over and over again.  
  
"I love you too," Alex smiled kissing those beautiful, luscious lips softly, "God, do I ever."  
  
"Don't leave me, please. I, I can't live with out you," Cass cupped his face, "I can't be me, without you there."  
  
Alex sleepily smiled, "Never again. I'm your Banal'ras, after all."

* * *

  
Varric eyed the pair of them with linked hands, walking up to the Chantry. He eyed them going past leaning on the other, smiling wide. Varric hummed under his breath sauntering up after them, petting both the dogs on their heads when they panted at him happily.  
  
"Sooo," he grinned up at the pair of them, "Kissed and made up, huh?"  
  
"Snoopy, if you want fucking details, you ain't getting them," Menace winked at him.  
  
Varric thinned his mouth, kicking at the dirt on the ground. He swiveled on his wooden leg back down the path, then headed right on in to the tavern to Buttercup. Maferaths ass, he just wanted to know if this was gonna be an on/off thing, dammit.  
  
Shit, not like he can talk, what with him and Bianca being the same. Though he ain't heard from her in sometime. Which is probably for the best, considering that shit only ever bought up more bad shit, that should of stayed in the Deep sodding Roads where it belongs.  
  
The Seeker spotted him coming into the tavern, a heavy black thundercloud seemed to follow him when he sat down with Sera. The elf flapped her hands at him, then at the waitress who she winked at. Cassandra chewed on her bottom lip watching the dwarf slump his shoulders down to the ground, as the thundercloud seemed to grow in size.  
  
She wanted to ask him, but she didn't think now would be the best of times when she left. Perhaps when the Breach is sealed she would ask him. Yes.  
  
Varric glared into his ale, willing it to give him a fucking answer. But the sodding thing just popped bubbles up in his face, with nothing to show for it. He side-eyed the Seeker still standing outside, her gaze lifted to the Breach. Varric looked back into the mug, then shook his head making his way out to say something to her.  
  
"Seeker," he sighed stopping behind her, "Can we talk?"  
  
"Varric," Cassandra kept her gaze up into the sky, "Is this a private matter?"  
  
"Yeah, kinda is."  
  
She sucked in a deep breath, waving the dwarf to her cabin, "Good, because what I want to discuss is private as well."  
  
"Wonder what thats all about?" Cass whispered to him from just inside the Chantry.  
  
Alex snorted kissing his cheek, "Their gonna finally admit they fancy the fucking pants off each other."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation - 
> 
> Ina'lan'ehn fen. Tamahn ma ane ma' falon. Ma' ina'lan'ehn fen. - Beautiful wolf. There you are my friend. My beautiful wolf.
> 
> If you wonder why Alex's speech was broken, read the first NLNR:Reflected, then you'll understand.


	13. Angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassidy gets a good fucking. Tragedy strikes Alex and Varric when they get to the Storm Coast, but also a surprise comes for Alex. (Who does dumb shit again... Cassidy, doesn't take it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Rimming/Anal ahead. Death.
> 
> Massive Attack - Angel - https://youtu.be/hbe3CQamF8k

Sera smirked wide at him from the other side of the table, he couldn't help but smirk back when she quirks an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sneaky, your a shit. Do it, or deals off!"  
  
Alex's smirk rose up even more, "I'm an arse, BIG difference. Sera, Sera, Sera, what am I gonna do with you, huh?"  
  
"Get. Me. Bees! I need effin bees, sneaky. Cully-wully won't get me any," she pouts.  
  
Oh fucking hell, Cully-wully? Si's gonna shit her knickers hearing that one. Alex sits back in his chair, mulling over the mead in his tankard, letting the girl stew in her own juices while he thinks about something completely different. Like, showing Cass how to-  
  
"SNEAKY! Ya even listenin'?"  
  
"Nope, not at all. I'll get your fucking bees, and wasps, maybe throw in a few hornets and earwigs while am at it too. Hows that?"  
  
Sera just stares at him gobsmacked, her eyes start to go wider when she slams her hands on the table, throwing her head back as she laughs. Yup, he takes that as a yes, when he leaves her there grabbing the waitress as she goes past for one hell of a kiss. Hmm, Alex eyes the Breach over head, folding his arms over his chest as he thinks. Maybe, just maybe he can use the Red Jenny for his own shit, rather then the Inquisition.  
  
She did say there was a woman in Kirkwall who works for them, the twins in StarkHaven too. Alex taps his chin thinking when he saunted over to his best friend, flinging his hands up in the air as he spoke to Cass. The younger man biting his lip as he laughed about some story or other. Ugh, hope its not the fucking Bone Pit one. His eyes narrow when he hears Blooming Rose. God fucking dammit!  
  
"Snoopy, the fuck?"  
  
Varric's mouth stops mid-sentence, slowly looking over his shoulder with both hands right out in-front of him, "Um, Menace. Didn't hear ya. We're, er, we're just talk-"  
  
"About the fucking Blooming Rose! Fucks sake," Alex ground his teeth, "You do know I never went in there for sex, right?"  
  
"Yeaah, I know that. Just, well, talking about that nug incident," Varric shrugged.  
  
He turns about face and leaves them too it. He, doesn't exactly wanted to be reminded of all that shit with Carver, especially now of all times. Ugh, he needs to check messages, that'll stop him thinking about that shit. Yeah, he can write to Seb, see if he can find the Red Jenny twins for him, write to Lia and Harley as well. Oh yeah, he can get the Jennies to do shit he can't do right now, perfect.  
  
The raven courier hands over several messages for him, one, he notes has the scouts seal on. He quickly opens it, his heart thundering in his chest when he lets out a loud sigh reading it.  
  
_Knight,_  
  
_We found them. Several Venatori held them captive heading up to Tevinter._  
_King Connor's fine, Alex. Arl Teagan, not so much. He's in bad shape, suffering_  
_from dehydration and starvation. Connor's been subtly healing him to keep him alive,_  
_but he doesn't hold out much hope he will live much longer._  
_Anora Mac Tir has also confirmed that there are No, I repeat, No Tranquil to be found._  
_She did find in one of the huts, along with our scouts, several of those skulls. I'm sending_  
_several back with Charter._  
  
_I think theres something wrong with them, Alex, I really do. They creep me and the scouts_  
_out something rotten._  
  
_L.H._  
  
  
"Thank God."  
  
"You keep saying that," the sweet timbre of Cass murmurs from behind him, "But who is it?"  
  
Alex sighs, "No-one worth knowing. So," he looks over his shoulder, "hows the rest of the mages doing? Are they up for, well, sealing that shit?"  
  
"Not yet. Alex, void, so-some are still suffering," Cassidy took his hand, leading him away from everyone, "Dorian doesn't know what to do with Alexius at all. Felix is dying, some of the mages have died too, but," the younger man stops them by the hidden cabin, "at least they died with us, not with them. I, I don't know what do to."  
  
Shit, "I don't know either. He fucking well gave up on EVERYTHING," Alex spat opening the cabin door, "He gave up on finding the cure, he gave up on the fucking mages. Hell, he gave up on himself. Avernus died a few years back, so all his God damn research went to the fucking Warden's in Weisshaupt. Ugh, he was a friend once, but right now," he lent against the small table looking out the small window, "I dunno who that man is anymore. And the fucking fact Felix, worked under this 'Elder One', keeping me chained up like some fucking dog-"  
  
Cassidy wraps his arms around Alex's shoulders, resting their foreheads together, "That was a dark future, one that won't happen. Yo-you even said so yourself! I, I still don't know what to do about him. But," fingers go through Alex's hair, a small smile plays on the younger mans lips kicking his boots off, "I, do know what I want to do right now."  
  
"Oh," Alex snorts, "do you now? That why we're all fucking hidden away, like a couple of bad boys, hmm? And what is it you want to do," he nips Cass's chin as he walks the man backwards to the single bed there, "Or, is it what you want me to do."  
  
"Noooo," Cass blushes bright red being pushed back on the bed, Alex straddled his thighs taking his daggers and jacket off, "Maybe? Void, Alex, all I, I was going to say was, we need to go to the Storm Coast."  
  
Everything dropped on the floor, Alex had a massive pout on his face thrumming his fingers on Cass's chest, "Awww. And here I was hoping to plow you right into the mattress, oh gorgeous one. Make you," he bent down to Cass's ear, "scream to the fade and back. Maybe," he licked over its shell, then nipped all the way down to exposed neck flesh, "I can do that a different way then."  
  
"Alex, I- Wait- Plow me into the mattress? Oh... OH... You mean," he blushes even more red, which should of been impossible to do, but he did, and Alex grinned unbuttoning his shirt, "Um."  
  
"Mmmm Hmm," Alex hummed sliding his hand down that gorgeously thick chest, his tongue lapping gently over the sweet tasting skin.  
  
Cassidy pushed his head into the pillow below him, his hands fisting the sheets as that tongue and hand gets lower, "Ooohhh void." He lets out a low moan when the hand slides under his waist band, going under his smalls to his very, very hard cock. Alex hums the entire time working his way slowly down the beautiful body under him, his other hand deftly undoing his doublet, then dropped that on the floor.  
  
A hand works its way into his hair, fingers tangling scraping into his scalp the lower he goes. But shit, he wanted to younger man to feel... comfortable with what he wants to do.  
  
"Cass," he asks softly resting his head on a hip, "Do you want me to do this? I mean, I wanna fuck you so God damn-"  
  
His answer was a grunt, the hand tightening in his hair. He takes that as yes when he continues his trail down, his tongue dipping into the mans navel. God, why does every skin under his tongue taste better then the last? Fuck if he knew tugging with his teeth on laces, his free hand sliding his own fucking pants down. Ugh, if there ever was a scent to bottle and sell, it would be Cass's when his nose brushed against that fucking gorgeous cock.  
  
Cassidy's lips part, more heat went over his face fisting his hand in his mouth at the wet tongue licking down his join. His leathers were slowly being pulled alway, but that tongue never stopped licking, lapping, even teeth were scraped down his thigh trailing after his void taken pants. If there ever was a thing of getting more hard then he should be, it was right now. A soft groan passes over his lips when everything below his knees where just pulled right off him. The only thing he was wearing now, was the dark shirt.  
  
"Turn over and kneel," Alex huskily said, "Hands on the headboard, gorgeous."  
  
He thinks he nods, but his mind was going every which way when he turns over drawing his knees up to kneel. His fingers grip the headboard, then squeaks at teeth nipping at his backside, hands squeezing up his calves to his thighs. Alex runs his tongue over the firm flesh to Cass's cleft, getting drunk off the smell of the other man, his dang aching fucking cock just wanted to plow him right now, but he's not that much of an arsehole. Fuck no. He smirked at the pearls of pre-cum dripping onto the sheets from both himself and Cass, who was panting harshly already.  
  
Ugh, feels like a lifetime he was in THAT position with- Alex shook it off trying not to think about it when he dips his tongue between cheeks, his hands gripping that firm but gorgeous thick flesh hard. He hummed flicking his tongue over the puckered flesh, the younger man gasped when he did it again, and again, and again, until he breached it making Cass buck against his face.  
  
"Fuck..." well look at that, he actually got Cass to swear. He hummed breaching deeper, one hand slowly stroking himself the other keeping one cheek open. God, his mind started to drift doing it. Cassidy lets the headboard go then face plants the pillows, his mouth biting down on the cotton at the feeling, at everything happening behind him right now. He's never had anything like this before, ever, nothing. The fabric in his mouth doesn't cover the low moans coming from him, doesn't hide the fact both his hands fist the sheets again all because of the tongue in him.  
  
His mind hiccuped when his feels a finger slide in with the tongue, and without him knowing it, his hips rock against everything in him gripping the pillow between his teeth, almost tearing the fabric. Alex pulls his tongue free then licks up the gorgeous cleft, slipping another finger inside as he laps and nips over the long back to the dark shirt thats slowly sliding down to Cass's head.  
  
"Cass," he whispers leaning over the younger man, stroking his fingers in deeper scissoring them slightly, "God, your so beautiful."  
  
The fabric tears between his teeth when he tugs hard on it, he wants to disagree, but his mind seemed to be else where right now. Infact, everything on him seems to be else where as those fingers work him more, as Alex plants soft kisses over his back again, a hand going over his clothed chest gently skimming over his skin. _Void, just take me, PLEASE! I need you,_ "Please."  
  
Alex chuckles pulling that dark shirt with his teeth when he leans up, ripping it near the middle when he tugs harder on it, growling low in his throat doing slipping his fingers free. Shit, he needed Elfroot not fucking spit, ugh. His eyes skimmed over to the nightstand there, nothing, he didn't bring anything with him either. They then skimmed to Cass's coat still on the bed, he tugged on the pocket, then grinned at the Elfroot shimmying out. Perfect. Should of just used that first, oh well.  
  
He liberally poured out a generous amount over Cass's crack, watching it run down to his cock nestled between those gorgeous arse cheeks, hissing through his teeth at how cold it was on him.  
  
"Alex," Cass begged, "please. Void, please..."  
  
"Shhh, should of told me you had this, sweetheart. But," he hummed, dropping the bottle on the bed taking thick hips between his hands lining himself up, "Get ready to scream to the fade and back."  
  
Cassidy went to say something looking over his shoulder, but what came out from his mouth certainly wasn't a word when he keened loudly into the hidden away cabin. His mouth went wide open feeling Alex's length slowly slide into him, his fingers dig into the mattress harder when the man hilts himself fully into him. And then, his mind pops like a bubble at the slow slide back out. Holy void.  
  
Alex bites his lip watching his cock disappear into that tight warm hole, then groans pulling back out digging his nails in deep against hips. The sound that came from his mouth shouldn't of sounded so sinful, or wanton either rolling his whole body against the younger man. Air was sucked in through his teeth pulling those hips back to meet his forward stroke, the sweet sting out arousal edging its way into his nostrils, turning him on even more lengthening his strokes. Cassidy arched his back with his face still planted into the pillows, drool making its way from his mouth into the fabric.  
  
More soft kisses where pressed against his somewhat bare back as Alex started to lean over him, a hand sliding from his hip to his chest, warm fingers brushing over his nipple going to his neck. Cassidy moaned harshly at the hand encouraging him from his face plant, when it gripped it gently, to being on all fours, even though his arms shook doing so. Alex lent over him fully but his pace never faltered slipping two fingers into his mouth. It seemed to get harder in him when he bites down on those fingers, feeling that very same drool that went onto pillows, fall from the corners of his mouth to his chin.  
  
Alex rested his forehead on the younger mans back, he wanted skin, he wanted to feel that skin against his own speeding up his pace. He pulled his fingers roughly free from the mouth, leaning up over the back, still rolling his whole body into the man, and ripped the fucking shirt barring him from feeling skin clean down the middle. Much better when he bit down hard on that sweet tasting skin, his nails digging into Cass's waist the harder he fucks the other man.  
  
The sounds he was getting urged him on more, spurred him on even harder biting and nipping at all the exposed back he could, he wanted to possess everything under him. Everything. Growling low in his throat trying to crawl into skin.  
  
Cassidy let's his head loll forward, pushing back on the length in him, his own cock slapping his stomach leaving wet trails over it when he peaks his eyes open. Hair flopped about his face, spittle ran down his chin again he was panting so hard with it all. His mind popped like a dozen bubbles, wanting those void taken fingers back in his mouth, wanting his void taken cock to have a hand wrapped around it to bring him off.  
  
"Alex, please," he begged pushing back harder so their flesh slapped against each other, "Please, please, please, void PLEASE!"  
  
Fingers slipped back into his mouth, he immediately bit down hard on them tasting the tang of blood over his tongue mixing with his spit. His arms ached and shook being pounded like a slab of meat, fingers twitched against the sheets, warm breath on his sent his skin goosebumping all over. The mark on his hand hummed, little streaks of green ran up his arm the over his whole body as it got tighter and tighter.  
  
Alex groaned into Cass's neck, feeling magic dance over the younger mans skin right down to his groin. His hard pace almost stutters when it happens again, feeling his body reacting to it getting tighter and tighter. He bites down hard on Cass's shoulder, practically looming over the younger man pushing past even his own boundaries thrusting in even deeper.  
  
The headboard banged hard against the wooden wall, the bed squeaked and rattled slowly going over the floor with how hard they were fucking on it. But it was the fade piece that slipped over both their skins, sinking in deep into Alex that made him scream out with it. It sunk into everything on him, setting his whole insides on fire when he came inside Cass, it sunk in even deeper as much as his fucking cock did.  
  
Cassidy bit down hard on the fingers in his mouth when he came not long after, spittle and blood ran down his chin, his mind swimming with how much magic had sunk deep into him.  
  
He collapsed into the bed panting like one of Alex's dogs, the man himself was panting just as much while trying to move his sweat soaked hair from his face.  
  
"Holy fucking shit, what was that?"  
  
Cassidy shook his head, trying to calm absolutely everything down in him. He swallowed loudly as words decided to form this time, "Void if I know."  
  
Alex snorted pressing kisses everywhere he could reach from his position, "Dang fucking good whatever that was, gorgeous."  
  
"So was the sex," he chuckled managing to roll onto his back with the older man kissing him, flicking the ruined shirt from his arms everywhere, "Can, can we do that again?"  
  
Alex just smirked hovering over those plump beautiful lips with his own, "As long as you fuck me like that, yeah," and slipped his tongue inside that mouth that begged him.

* * *

  
_Alex, my friend._  
  
_Words escape me to say this, but there is no better way. I've tried what feels like a hundred_  
_times to write this, feels like a thousand times I have been trying to form the right words._  
_But there is none._  
_Fenris passed away giving birth to our son. Both, oh my friend, both were struggling to keep_  
_alive, but the lyrium was too much for them both. It pushed on them as much as they pushed_  
_back. It is the only way I can describe it._  
_We tried, Maker, we all tried to keep them alive, but there was nothing anyone could do. The_  
_healers tried, there was so much blood._  
_My hands shake writing this, tears will not stop._  
_My life ended the moment they did, there is nothing more for me._  
_Alex, my friend, by the time you receive this, I would of joined them at the Makers side, for_  
_there is no living with out Fenris and our son._  
  
_Maker and your God forgive me. Forgive me too, my friend._  
  
_May your path be fair, may your light be brighter then my own, may the darkness never take_  
_you as it has done before._  
  
_Farewell._  
  
_Sebastian & Fenris Vael and baby Leto._  
  
  
Varric choked back on the sobs when he read the letter, tears just streamed down his face as much as the rain did on the coast. He didn't think he could take any more shit like that, he really didn't when Cassandra brought him in hard for a hug. Menace has his head lent against a tree as the Kid has his own arms around him. Maferaths ballsack, that was two more sodding friends gone, and their bloody baby boy.  
  
Harding wasn't fairing any better when she handed them the letter, but thank fuck for rain, huh. They all spent a few days to get here on high spirits, and now, their gonna be grieving over three more people. When was this shit gonna end?  
  
"Snoopy, me- me and Cass are gonna go see this Iron Bull, kay. Just," Alex wiped his eyes leaning on his partner, "stay here."  
  
Varric just nodded against the Seeker. He didn't feel like talking right now, he didn't feel like doing anything but drowning everything in ale. He actually wanted to laugh at the irony that they were all drowning in the rain, but fuck...  
  
"Maker, I'm so sorry, Varric. Is there- never mind," Cassandra sighed into the dwarfs hair, "I'm sorry that I didn't know them."  
  
He didn't say anything again when he pulled back, he just walked away into one of the tents there, letting the flaps fall closed when he slumped soaking wet onto his bedroll. He needed some sodding sleep.  
  
Cassidy put his head on Alex's as they both walked down the slope, the man had his fingers dug in hard against his side with his bottom lip in his mouth. Sorrow flooded him as much as it did everyone else. He may not of known them, but they were Alex's friends. Tears pricked his eyes when he stopped them both at the bottom of the slope, and just brought Alex in for an embrace.  
  
"Words will never be enough," he murmured into dark brown hair, "Void, I, I'm so sorry."  
  
"I know. Fuck, I never got to see them again. I wanted too, God did I want to go see them after the Breach," Alex choked gripping the coat even harder in his grasp, "Kessie wanted to go see them too."  
  
Cassidy clamped his eyes shut when tears just ran down his own face, "I, I don't know what to say. Void..."  
  
Alex kissed his cheek letting him go, "I think I wanna go kill something, thats what I'm gonna say. And hey look," he points down the beach at a fighting mass, "Right on queue too. Looks like Venatori."  
  
The older man just vanishes before he could even reply, then looks over the people fighting. One, when he squints his eyes, was a huge horned beast of a man. What in the name of Thedas is that? Cassidy watches everything at a distance, watches Alex reappear in the thick of everything, several bodies just drop to the floor dead, daggers twirling about the mans hands when he bows at the horned man.  
  
More Venatori run from the opposite side of the beach, then just blow up into a shower of red chucks. He, almost vomited everywhere at the sickening splats on the ground, the red mist getting lost in the rain. All he could see in his mind, was Cullen being crushed under the door, blood spraying everywhere. Cassidy, pulled out an Elfroot then proceeds to drink half the bottle as he slowly walks over to the horned beast.  
  
"Yeah, I am. Your Alex Knight, right?"  
  
"And how'd you know that, Qunari?" Alex wrinkled his nose up looking the Qunari over, "The fuck you want with the Inquisition, huh?"  
  
Iron Bull bends down to his face, huffing in it, "Besides wanting to fight demons that fall from shit? Dragons too if you got them. I wanna sign me and my boys up to fight, alright. The Ben-Hassrath are freaking out over unknown magic running around. They wanna know how much of a threat it really is, so, I-"

  
Alex spat on the ground right by the Bull's foot, "So they fucking know when to strike? Like hell they will, mate. You wanna join, you wanna run reports to your fucking Arishok, to the Ben-Hassrath, you run 'em past Leliana and Cassandra first, kay. Then, and only then," Cassidy stands behind him when he glares at the Qunari, staring the taller man down, "will they be sent off. But if you fuck us over, fuck anyone over with your God damn Qunari bullshit, I'll mount your fucking head over my fireplace. Got it."  
  
"Heh, not bad. Gotta get past my boys first," Bull snorts, "And me. I won't send anything without approval, nothing will be put in the reports that'll compromise the Inquisition. But I ain't doing this for the Ben-Hassrath, I'm doing it for my boys."  
  
"And, wha-what are the terms for joining us? What do these Qunari want in return?" Void, he's never met a real life Qunari before, and to say he's not scared looking up at the Iron Bull, he'd be a liar.  
  
"Besides money and booze? Not much, they just wanna know how big a deal this all is. Can't promise they won't, well, strike," Bull shrugs, "But it won't be right now when theres all that fade shit going on."  
  
Alex stepped back a few paces to the younger man, then quirks an eyebrow looking down at the stave in his hands, shaking, "Cass?"  
  
"I, I, I'm scared stiff right now. Y-you deal with it."  
  
"Kay. Bull," he turns back to the horned giant, "How reliable are these updates from the Ben-Hassrath? And how long do you think it'll fucking take to get your Chargers to Haven?"  
  
Bull grins wide at them both, "Very reliable. Got more juicy shit in them that'll put hair on your chest! Chargers, 'Horns Up!' we're got employed. Krem, put that fucking axe down, we can drink later."  
  
"But, chief-"  
  
"Krem-de-la-krem, just put it away. Can play with it later."  
  
Alex puts his hand over Cassidy's still holding the staff, shaking like a leaf in the wind watching them all leave. He sighed through his nose turning to face amethyst eyes, only to see that their clamped shut. Alex gently puts his hand on the younger mans face, pulling him down a little so their lips locked, then kisses him just as gently. Both of them sigh into it, both of them get that little bit closer together when lips parted and tongues teased the other.  
  
Cassidy's mind swam like he had too much alcohol, dropping his staff into the ground practically picking Alex up to a nearby boulder. It swam when he pinned the other man against it, getting drunk off the taste of Alex, pushing his tongue further into the warm mouth. His stiffness pushed hard on the one pushing against his, which just made them both groan out quietly into the heated kiss. Legs wrap around his thighs, pulling him even closer pressing hard on the body under him.  
  
"Alex," he managed to pull back even though he really, really didn't want to, "we have to get back to camp."  
  
"Later," Alex slipped his hands between them, undoing the laces of his leathers, "No-one's around right now. Come on Cass, fuck me right here, right now."  
  
His eyes go a little wide, "Are you void taken serious? We're right out in the open!"  
  
"Uh huh," Alex grinned, "Deadly serious. Like- Oh-" the older man looks over his shoulder at the Qunari winking right at them, just, standing right there watching.  
  
"Sorry boss, forgot a cask."  
  
Cassidy just blushed bright red, tucking himself away as the Iron Bull picks up the ale barrel, hoisting it on his shoulder before winking at them both again, "I, I am never going to live this down. Never."  
  
"Fucks sake, did say I would do you out in the open, didn't I? OI, Bull, if your gonna watch, hide in the bush or summit, kay!"  
  
"ALEX! Oh my sweet void. I, I, I'm going back to camp. I, think I'm just going to bury my head in a book," he literally tried to run back to camp, got half way there remembering he dropped his staff, cursed fisting his hands on either side of himself. Then slowly, just kept on walking as if nothing happened.  
  
"Nice," Bull snickered, "Sorry 'bout that, but reaaalllly do need this cask. Some good drinking I ain't leaving behind."  
  
Alex just slips down the boulder watching both Cass and Bull walk away from him. Yeah, maybe, just maybe, everyones right about him being so damn fucking horny all the time. Its been fucking years since he's felt like this, maybe he should attempt to tamper it down something. And he's supposed to be grieving too, the fucks wrong with him again?  
  
Maybe, he should just-  
  
Nope, his legs didn't want to do anything but spread right on out in-front of him, trying to hide the small amount of shame going through his core. Ugh, Anders did tell him quite often to just keep it under control. Even being twenty bloody seven, he's still as horny now as he was when Carver first-  
  
"Fucking stop thinking about that shit, you dumb mother fucker. Gods sake."  
  
"Yup, you are dumb," a deep voice rumbled from the other side of the boulder, "Specially when I'm trying to kip right here, lowlander."  
  
"The hell!" Alex flew off the wet ground, practically jumping on-top of the fucking boulder to see who the hell it was. What greeted him when he looked, was NOT what he expected at all smirking up at him from the other side from under a hood.  
  
"Aye, good to finally meet the moan behind the voice."  
  
"Who in the name of fuck are you? And what in the fuck are you wearing?" Alex blinked looking down at the man in both body and face paint, at the furs and leathers, at the huge fucking axe laying next to him as well, "Shit... er..."  
  
The man smirked even more pulling the hood from his partially covered face, "I ain't gonna kill yer, lowlander. If thats what yer thinking. Was just resting before I bugger off else where, you know. Water was kinda calming after the months I had searching, so, well, here I am."  
  
"But-" Alex blinked even more at the raven black short hair, the single braid wrapping around the mans shoulder that looked HUGE, at the pale grey eyes smiling up at him, "Still didn't exactly say who the fuck you are though. Lowlander? New one on me, mate."  
  
"HAH! Never been called that by an Avvar? Never seen an Avvar before either?" the man winked up at him, "Shame, we ain't hard to miss, yer know. Being all," Alex slipped off the other side of the boulder when the man stood up to his full height, rain water lazily running down through his painted chest when he grinned even more, "taller then you lowlanders."  
  
"Holy fucking hell! Your-your taller then a fucking Qunari!" Alex then narrowed his eyes up at the man still grinning at him, "Wait- Avvar? The hell you doing this way then?"  
  
The man shrugged leaning on the boulder between them, "I left my hold when my Thane decided it were better to warn off lowlanders, then it was to friend them. Me on the other hand, wanted to see what the Lady and Auger spoke to me about some 'Outsider' in visions. Said to warn about some false God. To protect from lies. To be reborn again with them."  
  
Alex paled stepping away from the huge tall man, "What did you say?"  
  
"Aye, you heard me the first time, stranger. I... see that you know though," the man tilts his head looking Alex over. A small smile went over the mans face pushing away from the boulder, slowly walking around it right to Alex, who was trying to back away even more, "Your the Outsider ain't yer! Your the one they want protected."  
  
"Yeah I am the Outsider. You know," Alex rankled doing his jacket up, "You could of read any of that shit from books, pulled some bullshit from-"  
  
The man grabs his face when he wasn't looking, holy fuck Alex couldn't look away from those steely eyes boring into his, "They told me. One of our Gods said to protect the Outsider too. You doubt our Lady's words? Doubt our Auger and our Gods? I never even said I'm friend, did I. Hakkons tears," the tall man releases his hold, "Sorry, he did say not to do that. Said not to do a lot to bring memories again. I'm here as friend, Outsider. The name I go by is Yestin Ar Blayd O Wolf-heart Hold. Son of a Blade of Justice in your terms."  
  
Alex felt like his entire world collapsed, felt like everything swallowed him whole when his knees gave out. Blade of Justice? Justice was the one to fucking send him, not, not-  
  
"Breathe, Outsider. I ain't gonna hurt yer. He said you might do this," Yestin knelt down in-front of him, "He said you would understand when he spoke words. 'Sorry, for everything. I tried my best, but I failed you as much as I failed everyone else around me. It cost him everything, it cost him you. And for that, I can never forgive myself. One day, Alex, I hope you see the beauty of the spider weaving its web, I hope you still look about yourself, look up at the stars and think of home.  
  
I hurt you, I hurt so many people for selfishness that I still couldn't understand. I wished I never stepped foot into the mortal world, only twist myself beyond everything that I was. And now, they are dead, I did that to both. I did that to you.' Do you know what any of that means? Auger and the Lady said nothing else as the God killed himself with despair."  
  
Alex burst into tears, nodding his head at Yestin, "I do. Oh God I fucking do. Their both really gone then, I, I knew, but- But I had hoped- I know what all of that means."  
  
"Aye, I knew you would, Outsider. Sorry it ain't good. He told me more, they both did," Yestin put a large hand on Alex's shoulder, squeezing it gently making him look up into steely eyes, "But nay think it good to be out in open for that. I know everything, Wolf-kin. I know everything. But nay here, nay yet."

* * *

  
Cassidy watched from camp. Watched Alex speak to the man who was larger then the Iron Bull they met. He watched the tall man dip his head walking away with a huge axe over his shoulder. His heart pounded with embarrassment going through him, going over his cheeks. Void, what was Alex even thinking?  
  
Maybe he wasn't, what with grief and battle. That has to be it when he slowly makes his way down the slope again. He needed his staff, which the older man picked up running his fingers over the polished skull, admiring it. He watched the mans shoulders slump when he turns around then spots him standing there.  
  
"Who, was that?" Cassidy asked quietly edging just a little closer.  
  
"Yestin Ar Blayd of the Avvar. He's been looking for me apparently," Alex shrugged holding out the staff.  
  
Cassidy frowned gingerly taking the staff from the man, "And, wha-what did he want with you?"  
  
"Give me a message, to join us. The usual."  
  
He frowned even more when Alex wouldn't look at him again, just like before. He could see the shame on the mans face, as much as his embarrassment. Cassidy sighed through his nose looking over the rolling tides crashing against the shore, "Your not going to tell me, are you." He already knew the answer when the older man looked up the slope.  
  
"I see. We, should get back to camp, we-we leave in the morning," Cassidy went to walk away, but didn't when he spoke again tersely, "I, I don't know what your problem is, what goes on in that head of yours sometimes, Alex. But enough. I know what you told me, I remember what you said to me. But, I, I won't take more of this void taken bullshit."

  
  
Alex still didn't look at him when he answered, "Then don't. You wanna be with me, fine. You wanna be in my bed, thats good too. But don't," the older man glared at him, "tell me what to fucking do, kay. Don't tell me what to fucking think either. I've had enough of that, had enough years ago. I can't change who the fuck I am any more. I. Am. Me. If you don't fucking like it then-"  
  
"Thats not what I mean, Alex. Void sake, just listen yourself! I'm in love with you, but you, you keep doing this!" he waved his hands about everywhere dropping the staff again, "No, I'm not pushing you away because your a little, a little-" he was just making himself get angry when he jabbed a finger in Alex's direction, "You stay by MY side, you stay there.  
  
But I won't let you in my bed again, until you sort your messed up mind out, Alex. I won't be at your beck and call like some- some- some void taken pet! Maybe you should just find someone else to mess around with, and not me."  
  
"Your not a pet and neither am I," the older man side-eyed him before walking away, "I hope you find someone who's not me, Cass."  
  
He stood there shaking, looking back out over the rolling sea. Maybe he should. Maybe he should just do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't get what Yestin said to Alex... then you ain't read the first NLNR:Reflected.
> 
> Yestin is Cornish (South-west England) for just/justice/lawful or Justin.  
> Blayd is literally blade.
> 
> Poor Fenris and Seb too :( Said this would have horrible/sad moments in it.


	14. Gravity Of Love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas thinks about his plans, and gives Alex something precious... twice. Cassidy thinks as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a wee inbetween chapter this time.
> 
> Enigma - Gravity Of Love - https://youtu.be/iQnVS1xh2IM

Solas hummed miserably watching Cassidy come back with everyone else, but Alex wasn't anywhere in sight. He knew it was coming, he saw the whole thing in dreams. Yes, darkness and shadow should of been a guide, should of shown them both the light, but he was a fool to even think it would work. And now, the look on the Herald's face spoke volumes when the young man slowly trudged into the Chantry.  
  
He was a fool for lying to his falon too. But how could he of told him that they were both dead, when he held out so much hope that they were alive. Darkness and shadow should still remain close, but he hoped for too much himself it would of worked. So, he needs to devise a new tactic, he just had too. _But how?_  
  
Solas paced in-front of his cabin, reaching out to any friend who would listen. Pala the Breach, pala everything, it was still too loud for any to hear him at all. Even Compassion wasn't listening when he flittered on by to the Halla, who was having her own issues right now with the horse, who wanted nothing to do with her.  
  
_Why, why was everything such a mess when it should of been simple, should of been easy?_  
  
Yes, the Breach can be sealed, but it'll leave one loose end he's been keeping to himself. Yes, the spirits should be able to hear him again, but how many of them will listen? Yes, he was his name sake when he kicked at a snow pack in frustration over everything. He needed time, and time was not what he had right now with everything bearing down on everyone around.  
  
_Etunash._  
  
He, for the first time, didn't know what to do at all. He was in limbo, he was caught between a rock and a hard place. He needed allies, he needed- he needed-  
  
Solas slumped down behind his cabin, fisting his hands into his eyes with misery, stemming the flow of tears that threatened to fall. He needed to do something more, he needed to put someone in charge of everything. It dawned on him sitting against the wood, feeling the heat from the fireplace seep through from within the cabin, Tarasyl'an Te'las of course! If he could persuade the Herald to go there, if he could persuade his falon there too, everything would snap into place.  
  
Yes! Of course, why didn't he think of that before?  
  
A small smirk crawled up his face, if Alex is what he thinks he is, then he should be able to feel Tarasyl'an Te'las, feel everything under stone. Then, then he would tell the other everything he's been keeping secret. But first, there was the Breach to seal with the mages. Then he would put his plans in motion.  
  
He sighed stretching his legs out, gazing up at the Breach, thinking more. The uncouth barbarian could aid his falon, show him what he truly is as well. Yes, perhaps the Avvar would be better suited to him, rather then darkness they were trying to put on the Herald. Who needs a better guide then shadows and deception. Or maybe, maybe they just needed time apart, to grow back together with out the darkness lingering.

Solas tapped his chin thinking even more.  
  
_'You can't have shadows without light, you can't have truth without lies. You can't have love... without pain.'_  
  
Solas nodded his head agreeing with himself. This, could all work out if played just right without interference. He quirked his head to the right as a shadow fell beside him, a smile graced his face at his friend smirking at him before joining him behind the cabin.  
  
"I won't fucking ask, but seems quiet enough, right?"  
  
"Indeed. You did not come back with the others, da'len. Anything wrong?"  
  
Alex sighed pulling his knees up to his chin looking up at the Breach, "Yes and no. Besides two of my closets friends are fucking dead, along with their baby? Along with finding out both Justice and Cass, my Cass, are both long dead now? Besides the fact, I'm never gonna do anything right again? I'm just peachy. Just needed to mull my stupid mind over everything."  
  
"And what conclusion have you come to, da'len?" Solas thumbed his jaw bone, side-eyeing the younger man.  
  
Alex shrugged, pulling a roll-up from his pocket, "That I can't fucking well take my shit out on everyone else. It's my problems, my past, my future, my life I'm fucking up, not everyone else's. But," the man sighed out smoke from his nose looking at him, "I'm beginning to think that all this, everything, including me, is here for a God damn reason. I died, you know that-"  
  
Solas nodded, humming, "You did indeed. You were reborn at an age to start again."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I died for a reason, I watched my own death like I wasn't part of it, you know. It, it was fucking weird seeing it all, remembering what happened. Still feels like yesterday it all happened, but it ain't," Alex frowned looking at his hands, the smoke hanging from the side of his mouth, "That mark on Cassidy's hand keeps reacting to me. Like it wants to sink deep into me.  
  
Won't say it ain't nice, but it's well beyond my pay grade, you know. Its happened a few times, and the fact new magic sparks off him too? Is it me? Is it the mark? Is it because of the bloody great hole in the sky? Fuck if I know right now."  
  
Solas looked away briefly, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought. It was slowly slipping into place quicker then he thought it would. _Perfect._  
  
"Perhaps it is because of where you originally came from. There is no magic there, no fade, no veil, nothing but emptiness. Have you thought more on why there are parallels, da'len?"  
  
"Yeah, I have. Because its a reflection thats refracted back on its self. A supposed infinite possibilities, when theres actually only two. New life," Alex smiled softly, "new rules. On both sides."  
  
"That, is a very unique way of looking at it. You had said once that everything was a reflection," Solas slipped the jaw bone from his neck, "that it can be distorted in some way. I believe you have mastered what the fade actually is, da'len. I believe you have mastered where you have come from too."  
  
Alex snorted nudging his arm, "Yeah, dunno about that. I been meaning to ask, thats part of a wolf jaw, right? Dallin was obsessed with wolves, even gave me a wolf tooth earring before- yeah, never mind that bit. He kinda reminded me of Merrill with the way he obsessed with everything, but he kinda looked like you. So, why'd you have a jaw bone, Solas?"  
  
"Wolves mean a great deal to me. They are loyal, faithful, care for others of their own kind," he, wasn't exactly lying about that thumbing a canine, "They mate for life too. But they can hunt alone, forever banished from a pack to wander, to die a sad and lonely death without their kind. I wear it as a remind, that I am never alone."  
  
"You sure you talking about wolves?" Alex eyed him, "Sounds more like your describing Elvhenan right now. Merrill was banished, only to turn on her Clan. Si was banished, but her Clan is now me, Cullen, Kessie and the rest of us. So many elves out there, on their own, when they could have their own Clan, be with city elves, live together. Not just them either, humans too, who fucking wander like lost nugs."  
  
"Da'len, when you said you would wear Fen'Harel's Vallaslin gladly. Would you? Not Vallaslin perhaps, but a tattoo like you have already?"  
  
Alex quirked an eyebrow at Solas who was once again, thumbing the jaw bone, "I meant it. Not on my face, been through that already. But yes, I fucking would. Why?"  
  
"Just thinking out loud, da'len. Envy called you a trickster, which you are. Not a thief, even though you can steal. You hide in the shadows like a wolf hunting its prey. You are no mere bard, no matter how Leliana puts it. You help your friends and are swift to deal with enemies as you see fit. You and Fen'Harel are no different then each other."  
  
Solas hummed taking Alex's hand, putting the jaw bone into it, "The children of the Stone have forgotten who they once were. The Avvar seem to have the right idea, da'len. Keep to their own and only visit those who they deem worthy. Ver ra, ma falon, ra mar mala. Ea ahn fen ma ane sulevem ea."  
  
"I, I can't! Its yours, Solas. I won't be some fucking wild animal like in that dark future!"  
  
"No, please, just take it," Solas insisted, clamping Alex's hand around it tight, "You were broken, you were forced into it. But you can find your own path, be who your meant to be without bondage. Just take it."  
  
He rose from his seated position, and left his falon sitting there staring at the bone. Solas knows it won't be long before the younger man realises everything. It won't be long at all.

* * *

 

Josephine sat in her chair waving for him to sit down, "They all wish to know what you believe in, Herald. I do need an answer to give them, I'm afraid."  
  
"I, I still don't believe this was from Andraste. I, was a mistake, or so Alexius so politely told me. Tell them that," he went to rise from the bench, his gauntleted fingers twitched grabbing the seat hard, "Josephine, I, I want to ask you a question, if you will."  
  
She nodded, dipping her quill into the ink pot then wrote something out.  
  
"Tha-thank you. Have, have you ever fallen in love before," he sat heavily back on the bench again, still gripping it tight looking at her, "only for it to crash down around you?"

  
  
"I have, it was a long tim- Oh-" her eyes go huge looking over her writing board at him, the sad and pained look in his face just made her drop everything on her desk, practically flying around it to him, "Oh, Cassidy, I didn't realise... I thought you two-"  
  
His face dropped even more scooting over so she could sit beside him, "We were, but I, I can't deal with Alex's- with his- It was a mistake, I should never of let my curiosity get the better of me."  
  
"We all indulge, all of us. Me and Leliana, and please don't tell her I'm saying this to you, we were together once. She fell in love with another," Josephine sighed playing with the hem of her pantaloons, "But I accepted that. The other woman is rather beautiful. It happens, Cassidy. Don't let this discourage you in finding someone else. Your young."  
  
"I, I suppose. Are the mages ready to close the Breach?"  
  
She smiled softly, patting his arm, "They are. Cullen is ready on your order. Cassandra is eager to finish this, as we all are."  
  
"Then, I, I should go speak to them to get things moving."  
  
Cassidy slowly made his way out through the Chantry, his staff bumping him in the back of his legs as he trailed down the steps, past the tavern. He peaked in quickly through the window, then clamped his eyes shut at Alex and Sera sitting there drinking. His heart broke a little swiftly walking past, but he had work to do. He could do this, perhaps. Void, he couldn't when his shoulders slumped, almost tripping on his armoured feet down the steps.  
  
Alex may be his shadow, but its a shadow he didn't want over him right now. He also didn't want to be a Necromancer either, it wasn't him. Maybe Vivienne can aid him with magics, or perhaps Solas. Or perhaps he should be the piss poor mage he will always be. Yes, that would be better then trying to figure anything else out.  
  
Void learning on the fly, he's sick and tired of that.  
  
All he ever wanted, was to dive head first into books. Be a scholar of something or other. Not some Herald, not some saviour everyone looks too. Anything but him, when he wandered over to Cassandra hacking away at the training dummy as usual.

Anything but a broken hearted fool.

* * *

 

"You know what you need?"  
  
Alex smirked side-eyeing out the door, "A strapping hunk of a man to sweep me off my feet?"

  
  
"Oh, OH, ewww... keep tha' shit to ya self. Pah, not what I'm sayin', sneaky," Sera rolled her eyes, "You need to grow tha' effin hair out. Thats what."  
  
"The fuck? I just had this shit cut! Dunno how the fuck I ca-"  
  
She cut him off by slapping the table hard, "Grow it. Have a nice tail. Easy 'andle to grab hold of," she winked.  
  
He pouted in his mead, swilling the liquid around in it. Yeah, alright he HATED this stupid hair cut Si forced on him, hated the stupid partial fringe thing going on. Maybe-  
  
"So, you gotta magic spell tucked in your quiver to grow hair?"  
  
"Eff no! Dun like magic anyways. Go ask elfy or Si for tha' shit, sneaky."  
  
She left him sitting there on his own, while she goes to pester the waitress again. Fucks sake, first it was cut it short, now everyone wants it longer? The fucks wrong with everyone? Ugh, suppose he could go find Solas again, see if he knows how. Maybe.  
  
Alex spots Cassidy go by, watches him out from the corner of his eye go swiftly past the tavern. Nope, he made his own bed with all that, so best let it drift on away like snow on the breeze when he leaves the tavern himself. Major boofed up at him when he made his was up to Solas again, Trouble was already up with the elf, having her ears thoroughly scratched, her stubby tail going nineteen to the dozen. Sarge was lazily rolling around in the sun, basking it its rays when Alex snickers at all three of them.  
  
"Da'len, I thought you and Sera were busy?"  
  
"Eh, she's getting busy alright," he snorts, "So, can you make hair grow?"  
  
Solas clamps his lips tight to stop himself from laughing. His face goes a little red when he lets it loose, "I can! Not on myself though."  
  
"Thank fuck for that. Can you make mine longer? And how?"  
  
"Ahhh," the elf waves his hand to the wall, "Thats easy. Small vibrations to waken hair follicles, urges hair to grow quickly. Its a small amount of force magic, da'len, and electricity to shock the system into responding."  
  
Alex grinned wide at Solas, "Then make it grow. Just, no chest hair, huh."  
  
"Hold still, this may feel strange."  
  
He hummed under his breath, then tried not to jerk at the odd feeling in his scalp. Shit, felt like his head was bubbling, fizzy like a can of coke before it bursts everywhere. But the feeling also wanted to make him giggle like the woman he used to be, wrinkling his nose up trying to keep it quiet. Tickling ran over his ears, then down his neck and jaw. Hair, was actually going in his eyes again when he blinked, dark brown slowly moving over his nose really did make him giggle out.  
  
"There," Solas chuckles parting his long hair, "All done. Now you can style it to how you wish. I suggest a Halla tail!"  
  
Alex smirked, "I was thinking more of a wolfs tail, shaved sides, keeping the top long to the tail. Been a long fucking time since I've had something like this. Ma serannas, Solas."  
  
"Ma ane vhalla, falon. Now go play," Solas waved him off, chuckling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations - (Massive thanks to FenxShiral's Project elvhen - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553883/chapters/7825850 for all of Solas's conversation pieces)
> 
> Pala. - Fuck.  
> Etunash. - Shit.  
> Ver ra, ma falon, ra mar mala. Ea ahn fen ma ane sulevem ea. - Take it, my friend, its yours now. Be the wolf your meant to be.  
> Ma serannas - Thank you.  
> Ma ane vhalla, falon. - You are welcome, friend.
> 
> Yes Solas does call Alex da'len, AKA child, a lot as well.


	15. Clubbed To Death.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Breach gets sealed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Death.
> 
> Rob Dougan - Clubbed To Death (Kurayamino Variation) - https://youtu.be/OwGuSPXPyX4

Everything hummed around him, the noise wasn't deafening, no, it was more calming then anything. But still, everything hummed as much as his hand did. Little tendrils of green snaked around his palm the longer he stares at it, it was like looking at another world right there. A world that shimmered and popped, clouds of green and white caressed his fingers even through his gauntlets.

  
It was fascinating to watch as everyone got ready around him, Cassandra smiling out the corner of his eye, Solas holding his staff firmly in his hands waiting for him. Cassidy just wished, for some strange reason, that Alex were here to watch him do this. But no, he wasn't. He made sure the other man stayed away while he does this, stayed back in Haven with everyone else.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
Cassidy nodded softly at the Seeker, "As I'll ever be."  
  
A soft mew made all three of them look down at his pocket. Two pointed ears peaked as well as golden brown eyes, whiskers twitching looking up at him with a contented face.  
  
"Sarge? What in the void!" Oh, he didn't want to freak out right now with the cat tucked in there, "You shouldn't be here."  
  
"He will be fine, Cassidy. Just focus on the mark," Solas dipped his head turning his back on the Breach, "let the Mages focus on you as well. And the three Templars," the elf smiled.  
  
Void, he needed to do this on his own, he HAD to do this on his own when he sucked in a deep breath, running his unmarked hand over Sarge's head for comfort. His entire body shook from fear slowly lifting his hand up, feeling the tug and pull of the fade go through him, from the Breach as huge tendrils cracked like whips trying to cling to the mark.  
  
_'Oh void,'_ Cassidy thinks when he hears Solas command the Mages to focus on his will, for the three Templars to focus upon him too, _'I wish you were here, even if you hurt me. I wish you were here, even if I hate you. I wish you were here, even though I don't know why I still love you.'_  
  
His throat felt thick when he swallowed, the mark pulling and pulling the cracking tendrils into it, forcing his hand up and out more. Sarge yawned wide in his pocket going back to sleep when everything felt like it exploded around him, in him, on him, everywhere as magic and void knows what else flows through him like water.  
  
The Breach let out an earth shattering crack, his hand getting pulled up more while the white and green clouds he admired not moments before, were wrenched from his palm twinning around the tendrils.  
  
Cassidy's heart pounded hard, his body lurched being pulled forward with the force.  
  
The world seemed to stop for a moment, no sound, no hum, nothing but silence. His hair moved as if in slow motion, his coat, everything when he grit his teeth trying to pull his hand back. It seemed to suck in its breath and held it there as his eyes widen, looking up at the Breach.  
  
He swore on everything something moved within it. He swore there was someone standing there, watching him intently through the rent in the world. He swore there were buildings flickering through the thing behind the person there.  
  
He swore they smiled briefly at him when the world lets out its breath, knocking him and everyone else back with it along the ground.  
  
He swore he recognised the face as he watched the Breach implode on itself, sending what looked like to him, a hand up to the sky to close the hole up there.  
  
He laid there on his back looking up at the sky, watching the clouds swirl in a maelstrom collapsing in on itself. He laid there, as tears rolled down his temples into his hair, trying to understand what in the void just happened. What he just saw. Everything.  
  
"Herald," Cassandra knelt down next to him, "You did it," she smiled softly brushing the hair from his face, "it is sealed."  
  
He smiled weakly up at her, his throat still felt thick when he spoke, "I, I did, didn't I," maybe he should keep what he saw to himself. Maybe, just maybe, he imagined the whole thing as the cat climbed from his pocket to his chest, knocking his chin purring loudly.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, the man with golden armour wasn't actually there at all, that it was the fade playing tricks on him. Yes, that has to be it.

* * *

 

Everything was in full swing when they got back. Everyone was drinking, celebrating the success in the Breach closing. Everyone in high merriments, kissing one another, hugging, even sneaking off for a different type of celebrating.  
  
But his mind drifted looking down at his mark, still thinking about what he saw. Sarge was curled up around his neck, his long tail thumping gently on his chest as he purred in his ear. Cassidy smiled at the cat, tickling him under his chin, "You were more brave then me," he whispered, "You didn't even flinch at anything."  
  
Sarge licked his ear, which earned him a chuckle, "You really are a strange little cat."  
  
Two dogs come bounding up the steps from the gates, along with Alex chasing them with Kessie in his arms, both of them laughing hard while Lyna comes up behind them with Cole on her back. He smiled at all of them, even though he really didn't want to. He didn't want to smile at Alex who caught his eye before looking away. Kessie squealed loudly practically jumping from Alex's arms chasing the two mabari.  
  
Cole vanished, then stood right next to him with his hat in his hands.  
  
"Its not loud any more. I can see. I can hear. I, I think I can remember if I try hard," Cole frowned wrinkling his nose up, "But, I don't remember what I'm supposed to remember to forget though."  
  
Cassidy took the hat from the boys hands, then placed it back on his head, "If you think too hard, you won't."  
  
"Oh. Yes. I get it," Cole smiled, "I forget to remember to remember to forget! Thank you."  
  
He was about to say something, but the boy just up and vanished on him again. Thats not what he meant, but if Cole was happy to hear it, then... void he didn't know. Cassidy puffed out his breath, watching Lyna nuzzle Alex's face before she darted off to chase the little girl, the older man then puffing out his own breath tying his hair back up into a tail. He, actually grew his hair longer like Cassidy wanted, but it was too late between them now as Cassandra walks up behind him.  
  
"Solas says the Breach is fully sealed, only the scar remains behind. All that is left to do now, if find who did this in the first place."  
  
"Do, we have anything at all?"  
  
Cassandra sighed looking over the revelry, "None. There has to be something out there, someone who knows something. But, should you not be down there with them, raising your tankard in joy?"  
  
"I, I don't actually feel like it. I just want to, I don't know, leave," he murmured mournfully, "Bu-but I can't, can I? Not with this on my hand still."

"Is that what you wish to do? Do you not want to stay for the friends you have made"  
  
Cassidy smiled sadly at the woman, tickling Sarge under his chin again, "Maybe. I like Varric, I like you. Bu-but-" he side-eyed Alex picking Sera up on his back, running back through the gates with her squealing, "I don't know. I could work with Fiona as a scholar in magic theories, or something like that."  
  
"That is up to you. We still need you, but if that is your-"  
  
The sound of horns shook the night, everyone froze looking up at the mountain pass as hundreds of torches lit up the night. The sound of war horns thundering right through Haven as more of their own horns went off. His face fell, watching the huge mass coming towards the small village. The distant clacking of armour echoed as much as the sickening war horns they had.  
  
Cassandra grabbed his arm, "We must get to the gates!"  
  
Fear, dread, panic and vomit rose up in his following the woman, everyone going into a frenzy of panic as well around them. Children crying, being scooped up by Mages and mothers to flee to the Chantry. The elderly being guided, some refusing to move brandishing weapons and staffs in defiance. Soldiers lining down paths, steps, by the gates and beyond for protection. Alex ran up to them, eyes like wild fire when he pointed up the pass with Cullen.  
  
"Fucking Templars!" he spat, "Those are fucking Templars!"  
  
"Is this the Orders response? Is this their Maker taken response in gathering the bloody Mages?"  
  
Cassidy's entire body felt like it melted into the snow watching the massing horde come their way. But there was someone else there, standing on a ledge pointing down at them all. He recognised the outline of the tall being the first time in closing the Breach. It was the exact same outline.  
  
"Oh, my fucking God! It can't be," Alex stumbled backwards into Cullen, "Get Varric NOW!"  
  
"Makers breath, thats, Samson up there too!" Cullen balked, "Who is th-"  
  
Alex hissed through his teeth at them all drawing his weapons, "Thats fucking Corypheus! The one in the Warden prison we fucking killed! The one the Wardens wanted free."  
  
Everyones faces paled, Cassidy had no idea what any of them were talking about. But the fear and dread ran rampant in him when Cullen ran off calling for a retreat, calling for Varric, for Solas, all of them. He was dragged along to help them, but what in the void can he do but shake like a leaf? Someone took his hand hard, squeezing the life from it when he looked. He almost jumped when he saw who's hand it was on his, then ripped it free glaring at the man.  
  
"Don't."  
  
"Then go the fuck back to the Chantry, Cass," Alex hissed, "You either fight, or you go back. There is no God damn compromise here with him."  
  
"Kid, the trebuchet, they need help. Kinda need you right now even if you sodding do that," Varric aimed his crossbow at the oncoming Templars, "Menace is right, do or die Kid."  
  
"Is that, Red lyrium?" Dorian joined them, "Fasta Vass, is that Red lyrium growing from them!"  
  
"Oh, what the fucking hell," Alex vanished in the shadows, several Templars drop dead painting the snow crimson when Alex reappeared, bending down to one prodding the body with his dagger, "Get out of here, NOW! Their all infected, all of them. I fucking knew it back in Val Royeaux, I knew it felt familiar!"  
  
Varric tugged on his sleeve to move, Sarge had crawled into his pocket by then as they all ran back to the gates, Cullen waving them all inside. But Alex wasn't with them when he vanished again, but he did see when the gates closed, more Templars dropping dead to the ground and something that looked like spirits ripping them apart as well.  
  
_No, I must be in too much shock. It has to be shock._  
  
"We're out numbered ten to one, Herald. Get to the-"  
  
A sickening roar in the sky flew over head. Oh void, he knows that roar from the Dark future when he looks up. Vomit almost came from his mouth at the hideous dragon burning everything on the other side of the gates. He froze to the spot watching flames lick up into the sky from the top step, he watched the dragon swoop down then back up into the sky, he watched Cullen's soldiers being dropped from a great height back onto the ground with a sickening sound.  
  
Alex, was still out there, with the void taken dragon killing everything!  
  
Tears welled up in his eyes being forced away, they rolled down his cheeks being pushed through the village of people screaming, crying, clambering over each other for the Chantry. Broken sobs fell from his lips at the already dead bodies, trampled under foot by frightened people trying to get to safety. Trouble and Major ran out to meet them, Lyna and Cole hot on their heels, but all Cassidy could see on the boys face was panic as he danced on his feet.  
  
"Gone, gone, gone, all gone. Dead, gone, dead, dead, left dying, hurt, not much longer. He, he, he's trying! No, nononononono, run, RUN, RUN! Can't help, need to-"  
  
"Cole calm down," Cullen grabbed the boys shoulders, "Theres nothing we can do."  
  
Cole shook his head trying to get free, "No, no, no, you don't understand. Its Alex, he's coming back. Tha-thats Alex!" lyrium blue eyes look down towards the gates, "He's trying, the gates, locked, go back, can't go back. She needs to be with her father, not me."  
  
Cullen's face fell, "Kessie... Kessie is with- Maker, no, Maker... Wheres Sijon?" his hands shook looking about himself, "Sijon? SIJON! OH MAKER WHERES SIJON!"  
  
"Dead, gone, gone, gone, locked. I, I can't breathe. God forgive me, I failed. I'm sorry."  
  
"We have to help him, yes! Venhedis, Cassidy, Varric, Solas, we have to help him," Dorian flung the Chantry doors open, "I will not stand here and listen to the Kaffas spirit tell me, my friends dying out there."  
  
"Not just your friend, Sparkler. He's my sodding friend too. Curly, we'll find Moonbeam, alright. Gotta help the rest of the sodding people still stuck out there. Spooky," Varric took the boys hand, "stay here. Help them out, keep them outta trouble. Seeker, you coming?"  
  
Cassidy stood there not even listening, even though the words found their way into his skull, he wasn't listening at all. Si was out there, Kessie, Alex, Harritt, so many still out there and he was standing there like a statue, unable to move. His hands felt sweaty, his whole body felt like it was dripping sweat everywhere from fear. The mark in his hand jerked him into moving, his magic racing over his skin forced him into a run. But his entire mind was blank running past dead bodies to the gates.  
  
The smell of burning flesh made him retch. The smell of blood, of effluvia, of the sickly smell of melted metal made him retch again. Cassidy's body felt like a lead weight and jelly at the same time. His staff bumping the backs of his legs, almost slipping on crimson soaked mushy snow. The tears that once rolled down his face, just streamed like a river trying to save people on their way.  
  
Adan and Minaeve were saved, but Flissa wasn't so lucky by the time they got to her. Red lyrium Templars were pushing the whole building on-top of her, on-top of people still trapped inside.  
  
But Cassidy kept on running, his legs pounding the mushy snow ignoring the Templars, ignoring the screams of dying people around for the gates. He had to see, he had to, he just had to see if Alex was alive or dead with Kessie.  
  
"Shh, its alright," a very raspy, broken voice murmured from the other side, "I'm here. I'm here. Its alright."  
  
Quiet sounds of a child's crying spurred him to try and open the heavy things. But they wouldn't budge. Nothing would budge, even with Cassandra running full bore into it. The latches wouldn't move, they were too badly melted and burnt to do anything. Cassidy looked down at his hand, sucking in a deep shuddering wet breath, he formed fire within his palm then put his hand on the wood to burn it away.  
  
Another joined him, then another, fire racing over the wood, turning from orange to green as the mark forced itself into his magic. The fade piece hummed louder and louder, the wood cracked and splinted, burning brighter and brighter, then burst open outward. The heat coming from the other side was horrendous, everything, everywhere was on fire.  
  
It burned his nose, burned his eyes trying to open them. It burned them all trying to pass it.  
  
"Fasta Vass, Alex..."  
  
"Etunash, falon, we have to go. Wheres-"  
  
Cassidy moved the hand away from his face to look, his heart sank looking at the amount of bodies around, looking at Alex holding Kessie tight in his arms. Both of them were covered in soot, covered in blood and burnt. They... were the only two standing outside the gates. They... were the only two alive as Alex limped over to them, tear tracks going through the grime on his face, his teeth grit together.  
  
"Gone. All of its gone," the other man coughed out, "Whe-wheres Cullen?"  
  
"In the Chantry, Knight. Varric, Dorian, go with him. The rest of us will go to the other trebuchet. No, don't Varric," Cassandra put her hands on the dwarfs shoulders, "we have to give everyone a chance to leave. We have to bury Haven."  
  
"WHAT! Venhedis, you'll all die!"  
  
"Maferaths arse, don't you dare do this to me!"  
  
"Just go, all of you. We will protect the Herald. We, we will perhaps find a way," Solas backed off, smiling sadly at them all, "We, will find a way."  
  
Alex looked at him and he looked back at the other man. Neither of them said anything as they parted. Which was void taken foolish of him, and of Alex as well. But he had to do this, he had to protect them all. He can do this, even though he wanted to run away with the rest of them.

* * *

  
Cullen took his daughter from Alex's arms as Cole helped him in through the doors. He looked around them all, even Roderick was being helped in by Dorian. But his heart sank at the look on his brother-in-law's face, wiping the dirt away with a wet cloth.  
  
"Alex-" he gave his daughter to the spirit boy as he shook, "please. Please-"

  
  
"I, I tried," the man looked away dropping the cloth onto the ground, "God, I tried."  
  
"No. No. Please tell me, Maker, Alex TELL ME!"  
  
Cullen grabbed Alex, turning him around so they faced each other. But he knew, he knew the moment Cole said Alex had his daughter, but he needed to know from the other man. He needed to know!  
  
"She, she- Si fought the Templars to keep them away from Kessie," Alex choked, "Keep them away from others. I, I couldn't get to her in time- Oh God, I tried. My- we- I couldn't get to her in time, Cullen. Oh God I'm so sorry."  
  
"No. No," he collapsed in Alex's arms at the thought his wife, were dead, "Maker, no."  
  
"I tried. I, I fucking tried. We- we have to go, Cullen. We have to go," Alex cupped his face, "Kessie's going to need us now more then ever. She's going to need you."  
  
"I, I know. We- um- we, Leliana knows a way out. Kessie-" he took his baby girl back from the boy, holding her close to his chest, then ran with the rest of them, leaving the others to their fates behind the Chantry doors.


	16. Destoyer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corypheus tries to take whats his...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning - brief mention of past abuse. And death.
> 
> Messiah - Destroyer - https://youtu.be/-RtDDAUq5s8  
> Oasis - Wonderwall - https://youtu.be/bx1Bh8ZvH84

They left him there.  
  
They had all left him when he told them to run away.  
  
Foolish. How void taken foolish can he be to stand there trying not to cry, as Corypheus belittles him for stealing his magics. He wanted them all back, but they were all gone, all of them and he was alone. Well, not exactly with Sarge stuck in his coat pocket, yowling in fear.  
  
Cassandra was badly hurt as it was, he made Solas take her away when the last Templar fell. But still, he was all alone there holding his marked hand as Corypheus tried to take it from him by force.  
  
"You toy with things beyond your ken," the monster growled, as did the hideous dragon behind him, "You play at magics that you do not deserve."  
  
Cassidy's knees hit hard on the ground, clutching his hand as the white and green clouds start to turn red. The gently caress of the tendrils gripped him hard, forcing him to scream out in pain as they tried to fight back.  
  
"Wha-what was it meant to do!" he begged the monster as he tried to fight back against the pain, "I, I need to understand!"  
  
"You do NOT deserve to understand," Corypheus spat at him holding the orb out as it sparked in red, "The process of removing what you stole from me, begins now."  
  
The pain that went though his body, crippled him. The fade piece trying to fight back at what the monster was doing to it, to him. It tried to strike back, it tried to push the other magic away from him, but Corypheus' magic, the orb, was almost too much. Cassidy tried to force his free hand up, send out what little magic he had into the monster, but nothing happened, nothing came out, nothing but... emptiness.  
  
Tears rolled down his face through the pain, blood ran from his nose and mouth into the snow, his body couldn't cope. His magic, couldn't cope. His mind... couldn't cope, trying to fight against it all.  
  
"Pray to your worthless, pathetic God, pray that he does not succeed in stopping me," Corypheus laughed, "For I have seen the Golden City, and it was Black. He turned his back on you, but I have not. I, will be your new God."  
  
_Please, please, oh void, please stop... I... can't..._  
  
"You have ruined it with your stumbling. You have ruined EVERYTHING with your gall," the pain got worse, the screaming from his mouth got louder, the blood pouring from his nose stained everything under him, "I will find another way."

  
  
Corypheus hauled him from the ground by his arm, forcing him to see into the hideous giant mans face, his eyes rimmed in blood, "He will not stop me, none will stop me finding a new way into what is MINE to begin with. Pathetic mage, stumbling around where I could have risen you to my side. You could of fought beside me, been my equal," Cassidy screamed as his arm was wrenched out from its socket as he was thrown, "but now, now you are no more then my enemy."  
  
His back hit hard against the trebuchet, his head snapped backwards against the crank, more blood trickled down through his hair under his torn coat. His vision blurred, trying to focus on the monster sauntering to him, the dragon snapping its maw in anger as well. Little rivulets of red dripped from its jagged teeth onto the ground, instantly sizzling on contact.  
  
He, was going to die, he was going to die right here, right now, and that void taken future was going to end up happening now.  
  
"I will not suffer a rival, even one as a waste of mage such as you. I will not have him stop me either. I will have my due!"

* * *

  
"The fuck you mean, 'You left him.' THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HIM!"  
  
Solas put his shaking hands on Alex's shoulders to calm him down, "He wanted us to leave, da'len. The Seeker-"  
  
"I don't accept that," he spat at his friend, knocking his hands from his shoulders, "You left him there, with fucking Corypheus! I'm going back."  
  
"Alex, don't! It'll be too late by the time-"  
  
He rounded on Cullen, "I'm. Going. Back. To get him. Go. Go on, all of you, just fucking go. You have your fucking daughter to look after!"  
  
"Menace, think about this for the love of sodding everything. You go back there, you'll die... again. I ain't loosing you like this!"  
  
"Look after him, falon. Trouble, Major, Lyna, we're going," he jumped on his Halla's back, "Besides, he has fucking Sarge with him," and kicked his heels into her flanks to go.  
  
He had to get back there before the signal flare goes up. Shit, he had too, for both of them, regardless of every fucking thing. His own fucking life didn't matter, but Cassidy's, he's the God damn Herald. He needs to stay alive.  
  
_'My friend, we may not make it.'_  
  
_'I know. But we have to try, Lyna.'_  
  
_'I will take the others through the path when we find him. You, you may not survive.'_  
  
Alex sighed, lowering his head on her horns, _'Its a fucking stake I'm willing to take right now. Look after Kessie if I don't come back. Look after them all, my beautiful friend.'_  
  
_'Master, we-'_  
  
_'-smell them.'_  
  
_'Thank you. Get ready to run, all three of you. Trouble, Major, take care of Cole, of Solas, of Varric for me.'_  
  
_'We will, master-'_  
  
_'-we will.'_  
  
The smell of everything overwhelmed his senses as they got closer to the ruined village of Haven. But he could taste it on the wind, the foul and corrupt fucking Magister there, the same stench that clung to his fucking nose years before. Fucking Wardens. Fuck the whole lot of them. This is THEIR fault he's free, their fault he nearly fucking died the second time. Fuck them all. He'll make them all pay if he ever fucking finds them.  
  
_'There they are,'_ Lyna slowed her run down, _'You have to save him!'_  
  
_'Go. GO! All of you go, there ain't gonna be much time before the flare,'_ he said to all of them, jumping from her back, _'Take care of each other. Now just go.'_  
  
Alex ran as fast as he could, ducking his head down low slipping into the shadows. He didn't look behind him to see if his friends had left, fuck, they had better just get the fuck out of here when everything crumbles. His legs burned pushing further watching Corypheus pick Cassidy up by his hand, holding him aloft like a child with a toy. His heart bucked in horror when the younger man was tossed away like said toy, his back hitting hard on the trebuchet.  
  
Shit, shit, shit, he didn't have much time. He wasn't going to fucking make it again. He's not going to loose fucking Cass like he lost his little sister, like they almost lost Cassandra and-  
  
"-I will not have him stop me either. I will have my due!"  
  
"NO!" Alex shouted showing himself in-front of the Magister.

  
  
Corypheus roared out in anger, as did the fucking hulking thing of a dragon, "YOU! YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!"  
  
"Too fucking late, dick-bag," he smirked walking backwards to the fallen Cassidy, "You ain't won shit here."  
  
"YOU DARE! He tried before you and failed! You tried with the blood of them, and failed," Corypheus dipped his head pointing right at him, "You will NOT stop me AGAIN! I will be a GOD!"  
  
Alex blinked a few times, then shook his head as he knelt down to the semi-conscious man helping him to stand, "Cass, you have to go. If you don't get the fuck up, well... you'll die."  
  
"Wh-who- wha-what, Alex?"  
  
"Yeah, now get the fuck up and run, NOW!" he shouted, "Go on, get the fuck out of here," he saw the flare go up, then put his foot on the crank, "Fucks sake, just go."  
  
Cassidy blearily blinked at him, his mouth parted as blood run down his chin. Alex just growled at him when the younger man tugged on his arm, trying to get him to run too. But he shook his head pushing him away. _'Run,'_ he mouthed when he kicked the crank sending the payload into the mountain, unsheathing his daggers from his back and stood in defiance against Corypheus roaring at him again.  
  
Cassidy ran as fast as he could, even though his entire body was in pain. Even though blood ran down his face, even though the cat in his pocket was still as stone. His bottom lip quivered at the massive thud on the side of the mountain, at the deafening sound of everything falling away. At the roaring scream of ice and snow fast approaching behind him.  
  
Cold biting wind nipped at his face, snapped at his coat whipping it around his legs. Chunks of mountain whizzed on by him, trunks of trees, huge slabs of ice slid mere inches past his thundering footfalls.  
  
His legs gave way when he stumbled, his armoured boots getting caught on a tree limb almost falling forward. Something grabbed him from behind to stop him, only to fall heavily onto wood.  
  
He screamed as rotten wood snapped under his weight, the biting cold snow lashing on his face, rocks, boulders, trees slammed the ground behind him. He screamed again as he fell into the old covered well, into the darkness beyond.

* * *

  
"Uhhh. Fuuuck."  
  
Cassidy flinched, trying to open his eyes. Pain, agony, and everything ripped through him when his mouth parted to scream. But nothing came out but a hoarse sound. His lungs burned trying to breathe, his arms and legs didn't want to move, his face felt tacky, so did the back of his head. Something cold was pressed against his face, something very very cold, when he tried to part his eyelids through the pain.  
  
Darkness greeted him, a cold darkness that terrified him to the void and back. He could hear something muffled on the other side, but he could be imagining it as he laid there dying.  
  
"Cass, fuck, Cass, Sarge, can you hear me?"  
  
He parted his lips to speak, but he was in too much pain to say anything, other then a groaning muffled sound.  
  
"Hold on. Oh God, just hold on!"  
  
"Alex," he managed to whisper through his clenched teeth, trying to move his fingers, his hands, anything, but nothing was working.  
  
Something scraped over his head, something jostled his body which did make him scream out then. More somethings were scraped, little patches of light seeped in through the darkness over his tacky face.  
  
"Hold on, just hold on. I'm almost through. Oh God, just hold on."  
  
Cassidy thinks he's crying again, but he can't be too sure as snow was gently removed from his face, from his body, from everywhere around him. Cold touched his cheeks, but his eyes were shut too tight to see. Something warm instead brushed down over his tacky face, moving the hair from his eyes, gently wiping the tears away from him.  
  
"Cass, I'm here. I'm here, it's alright," Alex murmured near his ear, "Your alive. Its alright."  
  
He lets out a choked sob, slowly opening his eyes to the man taking snow, tree branches, and void knows what else away from on-top of him. Cassidy's fingers twitched inside his gauntlet, trying to reach his pocket, "Sarge," he whispers, "He-he- Sarge."  
  
"Hold on, kay. I, I'll check," Alex laid his arm back down, then tugged his pocket open. The older mans face crumpled as he hiccuped, sitting heavily on the ground, pulling out his cat from his coat then held him close to his chest as he howled in tears.  
  
Cassidy, knew. He void taken knew as he passed out again.

* * *

  
Alex sat there, watching the younger man fall in and out of consciousness. He cleaned him up as best he could, least he could boil fucking snow for water. Fuck, at least he got a small fire going to heat them both up. They were going to end up starving though.  
  
Didn't make shit better. He needed to get them both out from here, but with Cass's broken arm and leg, maybe a broken back, they were stuck here. And no-one's going to find them at all.  
  
Sarge was wrapped up in his coat as he sat watching Cassidy's chest rise and fall. He would bury his friend somewhere that wasn't this fucking hell hole. He would mourn his fucking little sister if they ever get away from here. He would mourn them all, but not right now as Cassidy stirred again.  
  
Alex crawled on his hands and knees to him from the fire, the younger man slowly rolled his head to see.  
  
"Hey, there you are. Thought you wandered off into the fade again."  
  
"Not- not this time," Cassidy rasped out, "Ho-how long?"  
  
Alex shook his head, "Fuck if I know. Seems all there is out there is nothing but dark, snow, and more fucking snowy dark. So," he shrugged brushing black hair away from his face, "could be a few hours, could be a few days."  
  
"Yo-you came back for me. You, came back for me."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Pretty dumb huh. Someones gonna have to keep your arse outta trouble," Alex snorted softly, "May as well be the dumb mother fucker, right?"  
  
Cassidy smiled softly at him, "You are, an arse, Alex Knight. I, I have to keep you out of trouble, whi-while I look pretty."  
  
"OH! Beggin' me pardon, me Lord. Beauty before arseness then," he snorted again, "But seriously though, we need to get the fuck out of here. Dunno how though, your arm, your fucking legs a bit broken. Dunno about your back. Cleaned you up as best I could, Cass."  
  
Cassidy frowned, "Wha-what about you? Weren't you hurt?"  
  
The older man chewed on his bottom lip, then lets out a sigh, "A bit, but I can survive. Been stabbed in the gut, survived that shit. Been thrown across the room in anger too, survived that. Don't tell Snoopy that shit, he'll go find Carver and kick his ashes."  
  
Cassidy's face felt like falling at that, "Alex," he said out softly trying to reach up with his hand, "I- Void-"  
  
"No, don't. Look, I am messed up, kay. Sorry I kinda took it out on you, but," Alex sighed again looking towards the exit, "what Yestin told me, kinda freaked me out a bit. Shouldn't of snapped at you about it."  
  
Silence hung between them as Alex stood, he needed to find a way to get Cass out of here. There was barely enough wood to make a litter, and what wood there was, was too large for him to drag. Shit, he's going to have to use that whether he liked it or not. Was the only way. Will, be the only way to get him out. His life didn't matter, all that matters was Cassidy.  
  
So, he got to work in silence to fashion something or other from what was around. Wouldn't be pretty, wouldn't be the best of things, but it'll be enough.

* * *

  
  
"Its been ten days, theres no sign of either of them. We have to leave, no."  
  
"I know that! Don't you think I Maker taken know that!"  
  
"We cannot stay here forever. What if that monster finds us here, then what?"  
  
"We don't even know where WE are, let alone him finding us!"  
  
Cole sat there rocking on the cot, trying to listen, trying to hear anything, something of his friends. Trouble whined mournfully in his lap, Major curled up behind him with Lyna's head resting on his body. But there was nothing, he couldn't feel anything from them.  
  
No whispers, no cries for help. Nothing but silence.  
  
Cole, was scared. He, was terrified that he was gone, that they were both gone. He couldn't be gone, he can't be gone again. HE CAN'T! They need him, they need them both. _'Why, why does he keep lying, why does he hide the truth?'_ Why doesn't he remember what he's supposed to remember?  
  
And it was gone again. The memories, were gone again as he rocked on the cot, trying to reach out for anything, something to hear.  
  
_'In truth, lies. In darkness, light. In love, pain.'_  
  
Cole frowned as that came to him. He cocked his head, looking slyly over to Solas, _'In lies, truth. In light, darkness. In fear, everything. I lie, I lie, I lie over and over- COLE!'_  
  
"Thats enough," the elf glared at him, "Stop prying."  
  
"I, I want to help," he mumbled, pulling his hat over his head more, "Sorry."  
  
"Then help over there," Solas stormed off.  
  
Cole lowered his head, seeking something else. Hoping, waiting, wanting, remembering nothing, even though its supposed to be there.  
  
He was feeling despondent there was nothing. Everyone around him was falling apart slowly, all of them hurting, hating, fearing what will happen now. Cole didn't want anything bad to happen to any of them. He didn't want to loose them all, not now, not ever. He would keep the three friends safe if it came to that. He would take them elsewhere.  
  
The wind howled through the make shift camp, tent pegs tugging hard in the frozen packed ground, flaps slapping against the canvas. But he sat there, trying to reach out to listen.  
  
_'And all the roads we have to walk are winding,'_ he cocked his head again at the very very distant voice, _'And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.'_  
  
Trouble jumped off his lap boofing, Cole blinked several times twitching his fingers as he spoke softly, "There are many things that I, would like to say to you, but I don't know how."  
  
"Cole?" Cullen frowned at him with the others, "What is it?"  
  
"THERE!" he points into the distance, "Closer, calling, dragging. He's hurt, in pain, both, we can make it. Flames, flickering, faintly, forming, freedom, finding... found. Alex," he beams as he ran off with the dogs and Halla.


	17. Ordinary World.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things slowly start falling into place with Alex. Things slowly fall apart for Solas.

Daylight greeted him when he blinked his eyes open, yawning wide, trying to stretch. Only to realise theres a heavy weight on his chest, two weights on his chest when he shifted. One was flaxen haired, the other was blond. Two wet noses pushed into his ears, just made Alex chuckle softly under his breath at them all right there.  
  
Kessie was spread out like a blanket, Cole was talking barely audible to the two dogs, his arm wrapped around both him and Kessie laying there.  
  
Alex lifted his head slightly, then smirked as Cass having his face licked clean off by Lyna. The younger man trying to push her away with his good arm, huffing loudly.  
  
"What was that song you were singing, Alex, when I found you?"  
  
"Wonderwall, Cole. Thought it was kinda apt for that moment in time."  
  
The boy smiled softly, brushing the loose brown hair from his face, "It was. You were dreaming. I felt it. Heard it. I couldn't help but see it, Alex."  
  
"Its, its alright. Been getting worse these past few months. It," he sighed looking up at top beam in the partially open tent, "it was like I could almost reach out and touch it. Felt real, but didn't. Was like home, and I haven't fucking dreamt of home in a long time. It was real, but-"  
  
"Slipped away like water between fingers," Cole murmured in his ear.  
  
Alex nodded, "Yeah. Little droplets falling onto the floor, only to be soaked up. Lost forever. I don't fucking get it, I really don't. Cole, was... was I in the fade dreaming?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
His eyes go wide looking at his friend, looking at him, "But how?"  
  
"Remembering, but not. Real was not real is real. I, I," Cole wrinkled his face up, "Its gone again. We have to find a hole, and see whats inside. I, I remember that."  
  
"Yeah we do. Shit," he huffed laying his head back down, gently running his hand over Kessie's head, "Somethings going on with us, with me. But what? Ugh, no not helping getting the day started. Hows Cass doing?"  
  
"He is fairing better, Knight. Good to see you awake," Cassandra smiled sitting on the spare cot next to him, "Your Halla will not leave him be. Neither will little Kessie I see. But you are both doing much better now. We need to find a way out from here soon, I do not think we should stay much longer."  
  
Alex nodded scooting the little girl up more on his chest, "Couldn't agree more. You know," he frowned, "I swear I know where we are. Dunno how the fuck I do, but, I do."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"It, its like a distant memory right there on the edge, which is fucking impossible. But I swear I know where we are."  
  
Cole played with Alex's shirt buttons, plucking them as he thought. Subtly trying to seek what his friend was talking about, finding, hunting... there, "Castle in the sky."  
  
Alex froze, his whole body stiffened hearing that. His granda went through him, talking about castles in the clouds where many once stood, but forgot where it was. He went looking for it only to be laughed out the guild for his insanity. _'No such bloody thing as castles in the sky, old man,'_ he remembers those words, he remembers being there with his da when they left the archaeologists guild when he was a little girl back home.  
  
_'There has to be, I know there has to be. It was there, I know I've seen it.'_  
  
_'Father, maybe wasn't the wisest of ideas going to them about it. Bad enough they laughed me out for the whole, 'I found proof of dragons,' thing.'_  
  
_'Bah, as if they know 'A' from a sheep's arse, boyo. Well go back home, maybe seeing the cathedral again will jog it.'_  
  
_'Da? Are there really castles in the sky?'_  
  
_'Ahh, whipper, used to be. Long gone now like everything else. Magic, dragons, everything all gone into the sky. But there used to be one such castle the clouds kissed. Where many stepped foot on, but forgot where it sat.'_  
  
_'Granda's right, Alexandria, there used to be. Remember what we told you, question everything.'_  
  
"Question everything," Alex mumbled out as he sat with Kessie waking up, blinking blearily at him, "Everything went into the-" he picked the little girl up, Cassandra was giving him a very strange look when he dashed out the tent looking up, "-sky. Holy hell. Theres no way, theres no sodding way..."  
  
"Knight?" the Seeker was puzzled narrowing her gaze at him, "What is it?"  
  
He swallowed looking back at her, then to Cole who was nodding slowly at him. He looked over at everyone else in the makeshift camp, then over to Solas, "Parallels. Reflections, reflected in on its self. Theres two, but theres none when it should be one. Its all gone, when it should be right there."  
  
"Make some sense, you sound like the boy!"  
  
"I- what- sorry. I, I need to go think for a while. Kessie," the little girl buried her head against his chest, "Kay, you can come with me too. We got some thinking to do, can use your help with it. You too Cole, Trouble, Major, I think Lyna can stay with Cassidy while we do this."

* * *

  
The trek up to them was annoyingly painful, but he needed to go and see what the five of them were doing. Lyna pushed him gently on his backside up the slope, his leg, void, his damn leg was making him limp like an old man. At least, and thank everything for that, his back wasn't broken like Alex thought it was.  
  
Cassidy quirked an eyebrow at the older man looking up at the sky, right where the scar was over Haven. Cole smiled over his shoulder to him with Kessie in his lap, the little girl was grinning eating bread and cheese.  
  
"Alex?" he wheezed sitting the the rocky outcrop with the other two, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Been thinking and brainstorming the past few with this lot," Alex shrugged still looking up, "Yes Lyna, exactly. Cole said the same thing about forgetting."  
  
Cassidy frowned, then smiled when the little girl handed him a sandwich, "I, I don't understand. And thank you Kessie."  
  
"Kay, so listen to this," the older man faced him, folding his arms over his chest as his hair ruffled in the cool breeze, "I know where we are. Which should be blooming impossible for me to even know. Over the rise that way," the man pointed in the beyond, "is a castle in the sky, being kissed by clouds. A place where everything was held back. A place where many stood but could never remember where it was.  
  
I know it sounds impossible, but its true. Granda and da said to question everything, and what have I been doing? I haven't. And the fact Cole keeps forgetting something, forgetting something very very important, along with those three? And the fact I'm actually dreaming in the fade now?"  
  
Cassidy lowered the sandwich from his mouth, blinking rapidly, "Y-you go into the fade to dream? But, I thought you said you dreamed in your own head! Ho-how do you know theres anything that way though? Alex, whats going on?"  
  
"Real was not real is real. Two but none, where there should be one. Alex came from elsewhere, but-"  
  
Alex finished for Cole, "-I never actually did. I'm from here to begin with, but yet not. Dayglo was almost right, so was my Cassidy, in that the fade divided everything. It did," Alex hissed jabbing the air, "and someones keeping me from remembering everything. I thought it was Justice, but he was slowly going into madness because what happened to him. I thought it was Carver keeping me bound to him. Yeah alright, maybe he did a little, but that was Blood Magic-"  
  
"Bad magic," Kessie grumbled fisting her little hands in her lap, "Bad magic that hurts everyone."  
  
"Exactly. He bound me as much as he bound Justice, who was becoming Vengeance. Moot point now," Alex ran his fingers through his hair, "But yet... I died? I died a woman and come here as a younger man? That should of been impossible, improbable, everything. The shi- the stuff that came with me too, should of been impossible. My world stuff, here? That still worked? It shouldn't. And the mirror, that, Eluvian in the Black Emporium pulled me here, at the same moment I died as Carver exorcised Justice from Anders, but two months later?  
  
Think about it, Cass. Time, has no meaning in the fade, my eye colour, is that of the fade, same with back home too. My da, my granda and my brother even had the exact same colour eyes, ma's was light brown. I react to your mark whenever it flared on my skin. I hear Lyna, my dogs," Alex bowed his head, "Sarge. Cassidy even said I wasn't like any other human around, Solas said the same thing, so did Cole when we first met, only to forget. And I didn't listen to what was being said around me. Too sodding ignorant to even listen, to look about.  
  
'Wouldn't you feel confused going back to what you know, not realising what you were doing in the mean time?' Thats what he said about Vengeance, but I should of listened fully. He was talking about me. My worlds empty, devoid of anything, no magic, no dragons, ruins that sat empty for years. Lost and forgotten. Humans did come to Thedas thousands of years ago, from a place thats empty. Because it all went up to the sky."  
  
Cassidy dropped the half eaten sandwich into the snow, his eyes go huge looking Alex over again trying stand up, "You mean... into the fade? Y-your from the fade? Your a SPIRIT!"  
  
"I think I'm a bit more then that. I don't feel or hear emotions like spirits do, like Cole does. Most who come through to this side, have eyes the colour of lyrium," Alex nodded over to Cole as he walked over to him, "I don't. Which makes me think, something happened to either divide spirits, turning them into mortals. Or I'm something completely different, and someones keeping it from me."  
  
"Void, tha-thats a lot to take in. That would make sense in the whole," Cassidy flapped his hand about, "messed up mind thing. Bu-but, didn't Yestin call you Wolf-kin?"  
  
Alex nodded, "Yeah, but thats, from what I understand from a few books Cole managed to find, a friend blessing. An Avvar hold thing. And the fact I end up turning into a wild beast in the Dark future? Don't you think thats, oh I don't know, highly unlikely? Yeah, I have instincts, I mapped out my battles mere seconds before I did anything years before. Until I had no sodding need to do that any more. It just flows like water now."  
  
"Uncle Alex, what about what Solas gave you?"  
  
"Oh yeah," the older man pulled out something from his back pocket, "Solas gave me his wolf jaw bone, telling me to be the wolf I'm meant to be. I'm not a pet. I'm not a sodding wolf in any means. Keep me from bondage? Find my own path? I did say to him I would wear Fen'Harel's Vallaslin gladly, he asked if I would. Don't you think thats-"  
  
"Strange he would say that to you," Cassidy slowly rose from the outcrop, "Wasn't Fen'Harel the Dread Wolf from Dalish legends though?"  
  
Both Alex and Kessie nod at the same time.  
  
"Holy shit. Oh, um, sorry Kessie. Y-you don't think he's some kind of worshiper of the Dread Wolf do you? Grooming you to his side or something?"  
  
Alex tucked the jaw bone back into his pocket, "Maybe. I wouldn't though, I only said it because I wanted to know why Fen'Harel did what he did all those thousands of years ago. That the Dread Wolf put a barrier between the heavens and the abyss. Separating them. Earth has heaven and hell, both are supposedly separated by barriers. The veil separates the fade and the mortal realm. Think about it."  
  
Cassidy mulled absolutely everything over, thinking back to the books he read in the circle, to the ones he was going through before Corypheus destroyed Haven. The Dalish legend created the barrier, but Andrastians think the Maker did it, along with creating humans-  
  
His mouth fell open when it clicked into place, "The Maker turned his back, Corypheus said he wouldn't be able to stop him again. The Maker, or someone else has returned to... help... us," he stumbled over his broken leg back onto the outcrop, "Oh my damn void... YOU!"  
  
"Not the Maker, kept telling Anders that. Makes you wonder, right?" Alex knelt down in-front of him, "Makes me wonder too, why Cole doesn't remember, why others don't remember too. Why my friends keep forgetting even though its imprinted on them. Me and Seb spoke for hours about the similarity's between our worlds, between our Gods, and I never realised until after we find this lot last week. When slivers of memories kept wanting to break out. Thinking about what my da told me and my brother. Question. Everything."  
  
Cole beamed, "I helped dig for treasure. Pulled them out, cleaned them without the noise. Only small secrets though. I forget the rest."  
  
"Tha-that might explain what I saw in the Breach," Cassidy swallowed, "I, I saw a man in golden armour, standing in-front of a city, smiling at me. I, I thought I was imagining the whole thing from shock. I thought I saw a hand reach up into the sky, to close the hole."  
  
Alex gasped grabbing his good knee, "Are you serious? Wow, a hand of God helping? Golden armour though," he frowned, "Hmmm. Does anyone even know what the Maker looks like? Are there any damn records written down at all?"  
  
"I, actually don't know. But, perhaps if there is a castle in the clouds, maybe, just maybe, we can start digging around to find out. Woul-would Dorian help, Felix and his father?"  
  
"Oh, that might be a bloody good idea. Fiona too. I heard you wanted to be a scholar," the older man smirked, "Heres your chance to be one. But I think we should keep what I said, and what you just said, between the seven of us. Don't wanna freak everyone out if we're right."

* * *

  
Solas stood watching, he eyed them all coming back together. But he noticed there was a shift in between them all, one that was setting his back on edge. Cole was blocking him when he tried to find out what. _Pala, the spirit was actually blocking him of all people!_ Something was going on with all of them. Even the little girl was smiling in his falon's arms.  
  
The feeling of dread slowly crept up his spine over everything. Maybe he's going about this all wrong. Maybe he shouldn't of dropped hints, kept pushing the younger man in his questioning. Maybe he was going to be in more trouble then he thought he would be if they get to Tarasyl'an Te'las.  
  
No, he needed to keep everything to himself now if that were the case. He would find allies else where out there, yes, there would be plenty of elves in need he can use. Briala for one, if he could get to her, she could be of great use to him. But the feeling of dread rose higher and higher at the sound of soft foot steps behind him. He wiped the look from his face and smiled at Alex standing there by the torch.

  
"All is well I presume, da'len."  
  
"Yeah it is. What you doing out here by yourself, Solas?"  
  
He sighed looking over the valley, "The orb Corypheus carries. It is Elvhenan, a foci. An ancient relic that he shouldn't have at all. If any were to find that out, that it was once elven-"  
  
"Then everyone will start pointing fingers at you, at all of them for the Conclave explosion. Where," the younger mans runs his fingers over the blue flames, "would he of gotten something like that though? Old ruins?"  
  
"Possibly," _don't give anything away,_ "there are many ancient elven ruins hidden in Thedas, that have been forgotten by time."  
  
He watched Alex's left eyebrow raise minutely, his pupils dilating, but his breathing was even and steady, no smell of anything hinted or given away. Curious. Not many can hide anything from him, but his falon was very good at that, more so then what he can do.  
  
"Like the Eluvian's. I told you I found two broken ones, right?" Solas nodded, "I lied. There was one that wasn't broken in the Dragonbone wastes. Hidden away deep inside a cave, where a hideous monstrosity once laired. Anders took me there showed me what happened, only to find it sitting there among bones, humming."  
  
_Etunash! That was impossible, unless-_  
  
"Do you know who opened it?" he needed to know.  
  
"I never said it was fucking open, Solas. I just said it was humming," he felt a wave of irritation go over him, dread seeped in deeper inside his core at his mistake, "But no, I don't know who opened it. There were several artifacts around its base, denoting both Tevinter," _pala, don't say it falon,_ "and Elvhenan."  
  
Solas slowly nodded his head, trying to not give anything way, "They may of taken the ruins over many years after the Elvhenan had left. It happens. But nonetheless, thank you for telling me the truth, da'len," _now comes my hint,_ "I believe we should leave soon. I believe there is somewhere here, where we can recuperate, gather more forc-"  
  
"The castle in the clouds. I already know," Alex smirked stepping back, "We're leaving in the morning. Why I came to talk to you, Solas. To tell you to pack."  
  
His palms were sweaty as the younger man walked away, dread nipped at his neck, at his heels, fear was hanging in the air from him of all people. It snapped into place alright, but not how he was thinking it would be at all. All he wanted was his falon to be by his side when he does whats needed, because maybe he wou-  
  
Solas swallowed loudly when he noticed something hanging from the torch. His jaw bone necklace hung there, glinting in the blue light of the magic he created, with the canine missing.  
  
He's made a terrible mistake. One thats worse then any other he's done. One thats going to end up costing his life.  
  
He knows. Alex... knows.

* * *

  
"Cullen?"  
  
The man lifted his head from the mapped table, "Maker, did- did I fall asleep?"  
  
"Yeah, you did," Alex snorted, "Kinda need you to pack for the morrow. Can go to fucking sleep on the back of a druffalo."  
  
Cullen yawned wide, pushing all the figurines to one side, "It is getting late. Or is it early? Can't bloody tell being up here."  
  
"Pack, brother. Kessie's curled up with Cole in my tent. He read her a bedtime story," he snorted again flatten his brother-in-law's hair down, "God, Cullen, your a fucking mess."  
  
"It is any wonder, considering? I'll, I'll pack," he yawned again knocking Alex's hand out the way, "Stop fussing. I hope you know where we're going, Alex. Maker, I don't want to be lost up in these mountain's any more then we are."  
  
"I do," he smirked walking backwards, "Go eat before sleep too."  
  
Alex didn't see the two finger salute behind when he turned away, going to the mess tent. Ugh, he could do with more then food right now, but that shit can wait until they get to this castle. Everything can fucking wait until they all get there, safe and sound.  
  
Cassidy rolled his eyes up at him when he sauntered over, waving a sandwich about over at Varric and Cassandra holding hands as they ate, "What did you say once?"  
  
"Sickly sweet. Hey," Alex prodded the sandwich being waved in his face, "We did that too you know. So means we were kinda sickening sweet too. Oh my God, stop waving that fucking thing in my face!"  
  
"Yes well, that was then, this is now. And it's... I, I don't even know what they're doing to be honest," he chuckled in his ear, "And I will wave what I want about."  
  
Alex just gave the other man a pointed look, "Uh huh. You want me to eat it, that was this is? Can find my own fucking food, oh lordy pants."  
  
"Noooo, its mine!"  
  
"Then stop waving it about in my face, for fucks sake. You know, I dunno what was worse," Alex waved his hand over the two love birds, then to the whole camp, "Those two. You waving food in my fucking face. Or the God damn singing everyone did. I mean really? Bowing down to the both of us! Ugh," Alex shuddered.  
  
Cassidy pouted, "I thought it was nice. But, I do agree, the kneeling and bowing was, well, uncalled for. Cullen had a very nice voice," he shoved the sandwich in his mouth, grinning around it, which just made Alex snort poking his chest.  
  
"So does Lee. And Mother Giselle. Cullen sung to Kessie when she was a baby. He sung in the Templar choir too, from what he told me. But still, ugh. Don't fucking want people putting me on some fucking pedestal, all because," he poked the other mans chest again when he started giggling, "I saved your bloody arse. Bad enough they did that in Kirkwall years ago. BLEH!"  
  
"Void Alex, your such a grump. They put me up there too," Cassidy waved his glowing hand in his face, "because of that. Cassandra still thinks," he pouts again, "I, I'm Andraste's stupid Herald. Even Mother Giselle still can't believe what happened with me, how you managed to save my life either. Ten days Alex. We should of died."

  
  
Alex chewed on his lip going back to looking over the camp, "Yeah, so everyone said. Should of died from thirst being out in all that, should of fallen to exposure too. But yet, no fucking frostbite? No, internal injuries? I know I'm too stubborn to die right now, but that shit.. Ugh."  
  
"Divine providence," Cassidy snickered.  
  
Alex narrowed his eyes as he slowly turns his head to the younger man, "You having a laugh, mate? You starting? If you weren't all injured I'd be chasing your fucking arse, just to beat the living shit out of it!"  
  
"Then," Cassidy smirked, "yo-you would have everyone jumping on you, for touching the Herald."  
  
"I think that ship sailed. I've touched you plenty of times," he smirked back, "Ohh, right, not supposed to talk about all that. But still," he winked slipping into the shadows, "I got to make the Herald sing."  
  
"Hate you so much," the younger man grumbled roughly picking up another sandwich, "Void take you, Alex bloody Knight!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations -  
> Tarasyl'an Te'las - he place where the sky was held back AKA Skyhold.  
> Pala - Fuck.  
> Etunash - Shit.  
> Falon - Friend.
> 
> Duran Duran - Ordinary World - https://youtu.be/dDLiVwpv89s
> 
> The missing canine, if you don't understand that part, please read the first in the series.


End file.
